4 year old getting pierced ears at Superdrug

[Childpiercinggate]

I was browsing in Superdrug this lunchtime and saw a small child getting their ears pierced. It was awful, the mother was holding the child down and she was yelling at the top of her lungs. I was in the makeup section at the other end of the shop and stopped in my tracks as I’ve never heard anything like it.

I asked to speak to the manager as I was so shocked that they do this in store. The manager told me it was nothing to do with me and the mother had given consent.

Ive written to the head office although I know nothing will be done.

Yes you were unreasonable - mind your own business
No you’re not unreasonable - you’re right, children of that age shouldn’t be getting piercings

My 3yo asked for well over a year and I sourced a professional, reputable body piercer who refused until she was 5

I wanted mine done and my mum said I could have them done when I was 16! When I was 16 I didn't want them done anymore and have never had them done.

No body piercer who does 5 year olds is professional or reputable.

Bloom yes get that FGM is on another level but I was anticipating the "In our culture we do this at birth " comments which sure enough followed.

So just because something is culturally accepted it's still not ok. Ear piercing is the thin end of the wedge I agree. And actually the fact "some cultures " have it done in hospital (by a medical profession I'm guessing?) after the baby is born is even worse.

Apart from me, I don't know anyone (female) without pierced ears. So not sure what evidence your comment is based on.

Oh it's European abuse. That's ok then.

Your mum is a moron

As I said above, my mum said 16 which is probably too high as well. I think secondary school age.

@tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz I think the most important words in that post you quoted were "most WOMEN". Women are adults and able to understand and give consent. A very young child is vulnerable and relies on it's parents to make the decisions about what's best for them. Just buy them a fancy hairband or hair clips if they want to wear something sparkly!

When I was a teenager I saw a toddler getting their ears done in Claire’s and it really upset me. The kid was bright red and screaming. I really don’t think it should be allowed at that age I’m sure people will say I’m unreasonable for cultural reasons. I found it hard enough causing pain to my babies when they were getting their life saving injections. I find it baffling that people do it for cosmetic reasons.

Mean is not the same as a slur. And some people really should get their priorities straight.

I don’t agree with parents who put their child on the naughty step. I don’t like parents who shout at their children. But I don’t start threads about it or call them child abusers. Or compare it with FGM ffs.

You may not like it but it’s not something to get so worked up about that you call people m* if they don’t agree with you.

Parents don’t necessarily have to parent like you and that’s tough. If you want to report them to social services because you’ve nothing better to do then go ahead.

As a HCP it's not standard practice to give a child a non-emergency injection if they are screaming.

To say it's OK that a parent has consented despite the child's loud and clear unhappiness (i.e. visible lack of consent) to make a permanent, painful change to their body for 'beauty' reasons is totally unreasonable.

@Childpiercinggate saying she wouldn't have done it doesn't mean that regrets it.

I don't regret it letting her make an age-appropriate, low risk, reversible decision about her own body.

I didn't give in to nagging. I made a considered decision to aw her to make a low risk choice about her own body. We had repeated conversations about the pros and cons, risks, how we would manage things if it didn't go well etc.

Ear piercing is something mumsnet goes bananas about but in real life its just not a big deal. Plenty of kids have their ear pierced from Year 1.

Ah fair enough! What's the legal age for consent for children?

Ah thanks for pointing that out. Perhaps piercing should also be 16 then as well

The thing to do is to stand in the shop and ring the police on your mobile phone. "I wish to report that a child is being assaulted."

As for the cultural excuse - this does not hold water - we would legalise FGM if it did.

It is child abuse.

This isn't the place to discuss it but I disagree that Karen isn't a slur. But that's a whole other thread.

Oh no, I'm actually agreeing with the OP and other posters. Just pointing out other harm that kids come through that I'm sure other posters will agree shouldn't happen as well

Our peirce fave a 30 minute appointment and sought consent between each ear.

I'd say that's a world of difference between that and a public shop using a gun going against a child's will.

I think we can agree some common ground without taking polarised black and white views.

Ear piercing is something mumsnet goes bananas about but in real life it’s just not a big deal. Plenty of kids have their ear pierced from Year 1.

Quite. Common sense.

Where's the best place to go? My daughter wants hers done for her11th birthday but I don't want it to be anything like this horrendous experience!

As for the cultural excuse - this does not hold water - we would legalise FGM if it did.

You need to stop conflating earrings with FGM. It is utterly ridiculous. Ear piercing is not painful and does not result in a lifetime of being unable to have sex without pain and never being able to experience sexual pleasure.

FGM is not cultural - it is a practice with roots in deep seated misogyny and is violence designed to oppress women.

I have not read the full thread, but this debate seems to be gaining traction (and I’m not sorry about it). I know that Lucy Beaumont has been very vocal about this on Twitter recently.

I'd say 16 would be right.

THAT would be common sense.

Ear piercing is not painful

Yes is it, especially when done with a gun. I still remember the pain when I was forced to have mine done (it was my sister who wanted them but as the eldest I had to go first apparently).

FGM is not cultural - it is a practice with roots in deep seated misogyny and is violence designed to oppress women.

FGM is not an acceptable comparison in terms of the physical damage done. But piercing young girls ears (especially without consent) is rooted in misogyny and oppression. It’s just part of a million paper cuts of misogyny - it’s far easier to excuse the ‘little’ things when yes, there are other practices against girls and women that leave far greater impacts. Doesn’t make it right though.

I had mine done at 5yo. Asked for it for my birthday as mum had hers pierced. It really wasn't a big deal - apart from being excited about getting it done.

I don't agree with pinning kids down, but also don't think it's a drama if the kid is happy to have them done. I don't agree with making kids wait till they're in their teens to get their ears pierced.

I don't agree - any assault on a child is fundamentally wrong. We cannot say that we will allow little assaults and only mind about the big ones that have longer term consequences - an assault is an assault.

In the situation quoted by the OP (and I have witnessed similar), the child was terrified and trying to fend off the assault. This cannot be right in anyone's moral code.

Parents have a duty to protect their children both from outside assaults and from their own immaturity and inability to make wise decisions.