4 year old getting pierced ears at Superdrug

[Childpiercinggate]

I was browsing in Superdrug this lunchtime and saw a small child getting their ears pierced. It was awful, the mother was holding the child down and she was yelling at the top of her lungs. I was in the makeup section at the other end of the shop and stopped in my tracks as I’ve never heard anything like it.

I asked to speak to the manager as I was so shocked that they do this in store. The manager told me it was nothing to do with me and the mother had given consent.

Ive written to the head office although I know nothing will be done.

Yes you were unreasonable - mind your own business
No you’re not unreasonable - you’re right, children of that age shouldn’t be getting piercings

It's not snobbery, it's being more progressive by not treating a baby or very young child like a doll for the benefit of the parents.

I actually think that most parents I've come across who have a thing about ear piercing are far from progressive and tend to be controlling and authoritarian.

@Childpiercinggate - it's ironic that you are frothing about ear piercing and see yourself as having standards, then in the same breath you're slinging out ableist slurs at people.

@Dollenganger333 calling someone a moron is an ableist slur 🤣

Frothing about ear piercing? No I was upset by witnessing a child being held down, intentionally hurt and crying her heart out for no good reason.

I would’ve confronted the mother but she had her child in a death grip as she was desperately trying to run away and I didn’t want to upset the child any further.

Also controlling and authoritarian because we don’t agree with getting a 4 year olds ears pierced?!

No we’re just decent parents who understand that 4 year olds are capable of consent in this situation and shouldn’t suffer unnecessary pain for vanity.

I had mine pierced at 15 and thought my mum was so mean for making me wait but she was abolsutely right.

If you were so confident in your opinion then you wouldn't have felt the need to name change. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes it is an ableist slur. Maybe you need to school yourself on offensive terms instead of thinking it's beneath you.

Can someone with a better understanding of the law than me explain why pinning down a non-consenting child and sticking needles into her for non-medical purposes isn't common law battery? Or does it somehow pass the test of 'lawful force'?

How do you know what colour/class MN contributors are?

I have mixed feelings on this.

I’m willing to bet that the Sales Assistant was feeling very uncomfortable with the situation and probably didn’t want to pierce the child when they were so upset.

I work for Superdrug and my team would have the confidence to refuse to carry out a piercing on a child that was clearly distressed and I would back them up.
However, many parents are very pushy and insist their child really wants it and threaten to put in a complaint if it is not carried out. And the company come down harsh on stores receiving complaints.

We offer piercing from 3 years old (personally I think it’s too young but it’s company policy) and parents should all be offered the opportunity for both ears to be pierced at the same time. But if they say no, the child will be fine with one ear at a time and then the child gets upset after the first one has been done, the parents are often insisting the second ear is done and they will hold the child.

My team will refuse until the child is calm and actively want the other ear done. They have often gone for lunch/a walk/shopping before returning for the second piercing.

My daughter waited until she was 17 to get her ears pierced and chose a tattoo/piercing place as she wanted a needle. However, they pierced her with the earring as is standard for them with lobe piercings apparently. Only cartilage and nose are carried out with a needle.

We absolutely do get to decide how other people and cultures do things. There are lots of cultural practices that are illegal in the UK. Similarly, common UK cultural practices may be illegal in other countries.

Just because something is a cultural practice does not render it immune from scrutiny.

Ear piercing of small children against their will appears to be culturally acceptable among some people in the UK - that does not mean it is generally acceptable, nor does it mean that it should be legal in the future, indeed many of us think that the whole area of cosmetic medical procedures (from piercing to botox) needs a lot more regulation and oversight.

You were witnessing child abuse.

It flummoxed me, why it is legal to make holes in children’s flesh to put decorations through.

We are quick to condemn other ‘cultural’ reasons for modifying children’s bodies.

My DH is a manager for Superdrug. He would have stopped his team from carrying out the piercing if the child was so distressed. I'm sure that's meant to be the practice in all stores. Parents are told to take their child for a walk etc until they calm down and are confident enough that they do actually want their ears pierced. Certainly no holding down and piercing a screaming child. That's awful! I would have complained too. I hope at the very least the team are reminded not to pierce someone who is so distressed.

I passed Claire’s the other day, it’s placed in the middle of our local shopping centre with their awful ‘piercing’ set up at the very front of the shop. A woman was holding her toddler as the poor girl screamed the entire mall down, overhead a couple of people say how disgusting it was. The mother didn’t have an ounce of shame about it.

Yes I absolutely judge about these things, and again ‘culture’ is trotted out as an excuse for shitty behaviour. It is one of the many ways girls are taught from a young age that their bodies only exist to look good/pretty for others, the first of many ways consent is taken away. It may be ‘a flap of skin’ but no one has a right to modify and harm a child’s body even in the smallest way without damn good reason. ‘Looking pretty/make sure everyone knows you’re a girl’ is the most piss poor reason.

It’s absolutely time that ear piercing was highly regulated with a minimum age of at least 5 (though I’d personally say 10) and the child in question is fully able to understand and consent to a piercing.

In my opinion piercings at such a young age is physical abuse. The person carrying out this abuse should be prosecuted.

"I’m willing to bet that the Sales Assistant was feeling very uncomfortable with the situation and probably didn’t want to pierce the child when they were so upset."

But they did, so they are not much better than the mother 🤷‍♀️ A millennia ago I worked in retail - I was excellent at my job and at customer service, and based on knowing that and knowing I was doing my best I didn't give a shit about "head office coming down hard on complaints", I don't understand why you would it's just not that important (unless you know you regularly fuck up). And as per my pp, "just following orders" is pretty dodgy ground as a defence..!

Trunkybum · Yesterday 17:20
This must also be pretty awful for the shop staff too, surely? I can’t imagine having to knowingly perform a painful act on a small child who is clearly terrified and already in pain, that is entirely for cosmetic purposes”

This. In any other circumstances, surely it would be GBH?

For those who said the 4 years old probably asked to have their ears pierced, what about the child's right to withdraw consent? If they are being held down how could anyone say they consented?

On another topic, yes moron is a ableist slur and it's right for it to be called out.

The mother may have given consent but the child sure as hell didn’t.
I’d call that child abuse.

Oh for gods sake, moron is NOT an ableist slur.

But will happily amend it to stupid.

@Dollenganger333 You told me you didn't believe my post, therefore, implying I am lying. Now you've changed your story to Claires "almost always" do both ears at once, backtracking on what you previously posted.

It is op. It’s of the same root as ‘mo*g’, and it may seem milder to you but it’s still not acceptable. If you want others to accept that things that were acceptable in the past shouldn’t be anymore (and I have agreed with your thread), the you should be more flexible when someone points out you’re out of touch in how you think at times.

This isn’t true.

Its root is along the same lines as imbecile and idiot. Which all sensible people don’t take to be ableist slurs either.

Grow up

@Dollenganger333 You've got a cheek challenging OP about "slurs" when you've just insulted me by calling me a snowflake, how do you not know that's a term I'm offended by?

Absolutely agree! Just because 14 year olds want to drink and have sexual relationships doesn't make it right. I agree with PPS who've said it's shameful that parents let children make choices they aren't mentally capable of rightly making and which have long lasting impacts. I'm sure not parents on this thread but it's scary how many children under 18 are drinking, vaping, smoking and generally putting themselves at risk for serious, life altering and even fatal diseases down the line.
Definitely worth reflecting on, this thread has been really eye opening

Maybe said child would have screamed blue murder about not getting her ears pierced if they'd stopped? Tbf you don't know the full situation, it's mot sonething I'd have done at that age but I think you're making more of it than necessary. The pain is very momentary.

It’s unfortunate you’re now turning this thread, which makes some very good points about unnecessary harm for young children, into your own foot stomping exercise.

All those words are unacceptable, just fyi.