To Be Bored With My Life?

[Gumps]

I can't discuss this in real life as it really does sound like first world problems. I have a lovely family, a nice house and I run my own business. However I am so bored. My business now runs itself and the kids don't need me as much as they are teenagers. My DH works away from home for long periods of time but when he is home we have a great relationship. I walk the dog and go to the gym. I have lots of friends.
I just wake up in the morning and think what is my purpose today? I have no where to be and nothing to do other than clean the house and food shop.
I've tried talking to people in real life but they just say oh poor you, please swap with me. I would love to be one of those driven people who have lots of goals but I just don't.

I mean this in the nicest way: go out and find a new hobby. Or go on holiday. You're wasting your life.

Do something that gives back to other people. Foster or do something with animals or raise money for something. Just keep doing things and you’ll find a purpose agaib.

Volunteer, retrain in something you're passionate about, plan a grand tour, get a couple of dogs.

A phrase that I have found really helpful to give life meaning is to "find what you are really good at and use it to serve others".
What are you really good at OP that you enjoy or do you have some unfulfilled interests? What are you curious about? Is there anything that has always interested you or you're always wanted to learn about?

This is exactly how I feel.

Could you get a job?

I could but I'm a higher tax earner so would get no financial gain. I think volunteering is a good idea. Just need to ponder on what.

OP

No offence and I'm sure you are not like this. Please, heads-up, don't fall for the charms of a sweet talker.

As you said, you are lucky and its easy to get bored, I do. We don't run a business never have done but me and my OH left work at just over the age of 50, now early 60's - I get bored - FRI, we have our own place, its a nice, lovely place and a couple of rentals/houses all paid off and what many see as nice cars.

We have lovely GC living on the same road - we help them out but love that - we got laptops, tv's, don't do many hols abroad due to sky high travel insurance as now many medical conditions but thankfully we can do what most able people can do but less off - I get very bored and being bored and meeting someone with sweet talk can catch one off guard

Just look at it like this and as you said, you are lucky and everyone gets bored. However, get a hobby as others have stated or do a holiday that you never though of, possibly asking, mountain cliblemins, sailing, etc etc or something more simple close to home, like painting, or helping some charity etc - but never forget you are lucky and you have a lovely family inc DH

OK. So where do you want to go for a week?

Unfortunately not really an option as DH away from home and DCs are school age. Also as nice as it would be, I think a week away would be lovely but I would return to the same feeling of discontent.

Wow that was a jump :)
I'm very happily married and definitely not considering an affair.

Fair enough. But you've already framed going away in a negative way.

Thank you. Apols for not being clear re possibly "affair." By this, I've seen and met people who started out border as their DH often worked long hours and often at least 6 days a week.

A polite point and not aimed at you but what I've heard from others and been told be others where people do have an affair. They often say they were "border," hence my post.

Finally, again, good luck and I hope you are able to feel more useful etc

Let’s bring some perspective here…. I have a child who is ND. Can barely read or write and my life is full of worry and stress as to how they will cope in secondary and in adulthood. They have an EHCP and it’s unlikely they will ever be independent.

No one wants that stress about their children. Everyone wants their children to go off and make a decent life for themselves.

What you find boring, I would give my kidneys to be in that situation with my DC. You are so lucky and I’d swap wit you in a heartbeat.

To add my dad was abusive and we have no relationship and my man died when I was 21. I feel angry that I had a shit childhood then I have the worry of my DC that will never go.

My point is be thankful for your blessings. People would give their arms and legs to be in your situation.

What do you mean? As in I sound like I don't want to? I've been away twice this year with the family and I love to travel. However I'm just not sure a trip would help me feel better at this point. I genuinely think I would come back feeling the same.
If anyone else has felt like this what helped? Is this the start of the empty nest syndrome?

No problem and I do understand where you are coming from but honestly not on my radar.

No offence OP but you come across a bit woe is me, when you have time and money to live a lovely life! Make memories. Find a meaningful way to give back. Travel! Jeez.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I know this is 100% true and I am very grateful for all that I have. This is why I can't discuss this in real life and chose here as a 'safe space'. It doesn't help with the day to day feelings although I know it should.
I've written a comment about 5 times and deleted it as I don't want to sound patronising but simply I wish you and your DC the best.

What lights you up OP?

When was the last time you felt truly alive?

What frightens but also calls you?

What are the whispers in your head?

I get what you are saying and that it is really hard to have a real life conversation with someone about it.

You have obviously set up a successful business to the extent that it now runs largely without you. Why not embrace the challenge of setting another one up. Look for another opportunity. If you don’t need/want the money consider a social enterprise. Or lend your skills to a local organisation.

You are trapped by school-aged children but largely free during the school day. So find things to fill those hours. Try lots of things until a couple stick. Courses - crafts, languages, see what is available locally. Or a project. Like a long walk (eg Hadrians Wall or Cotswold Way) broken up into weekly school-day-sized chunks. You go to the gym - why not train for a specific event (triathlon or bodybuilding).

Ennui is a symptom of being stuck. The only cure is to start making motions. The less you do, the less you want to do.

I am very social and enjoy being around all different types of people. My family and the outdoors.
TBH I don't really remember.
Nothing .
That I am wasting my life but don't know how to get out of the rut.

Gratitude. You've completely ignored @Itsmeeeeee 's valid post.

Thank you this makes me feel seen. I've googled ennui and it is exactly how I feel and I've described it before as blah.
I had thought big challenges were beyond me as the main care giver, but I love your idea of breaking them up around the school day.
The more I think about it volunteering sound like a really good place to start.
Thank you again for taking the time to reply.

I didn't, I replied above. The post is indeed very valid and the reason I don't discuss it in real life as I am incredibly grateful, but it doesn't change how I feel.