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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How often do you talk to your manager

62 replies

Carly944 · 11/05/2024 17:30

I started a new job a month ago. I had a one to one meeting with my manager on the first day.

Since then she has never spoken to me. Not once.

We sit at a row of computers with a team. My manager sits two computers away from me.

She will just sit there all day doing her own work. And she will get up to talk to other managers. She will occasionally send us messages on teams if she wants us to know anything.

Other than that, she never ever speaks to us, even though we sit right beside her.

Is that not a bit weird?

I brought it up to my managers, manager.

I said "she never speaks to us". And the woman said "well do you speak to her".

!! I mean surely it's the boss's duty to interact with her staff. But I have actually tried to speak to her anyway and she just said she was busy

Surely as our boss she should be interacting with us. I just find the whole set up very weird

OP posts:
Carly944 · 12/05/2024 12:22

CpOb · 12/05/2024 12:18

Every day.

We're all in the same (quite small) office. So we very much work as a team although manager obviously isn't generally working on I am.

But unless they're in a meeting I can ask any time for help or advice or I'm available for them to ask me to work on something for them.

We also talk socially every day as a whole team and most days 1 to 1 if other members of the team are out.

We have a weekly 1:1 catch up specifically to catch up on current projects etc.

Love my work. Love my manager.

A good manager makes the world of difference

I feel like my manager doesnt even want to be there. She doesn't give a shit

OP posts:
fashionqueen0123 · 12/05/2024 12:40

Carly944 · 12/05/2024 11:58

@bubblesforbreakfast you said it doesn't look good that I went to my managers manager about it.

I didn't actually. She came to me to to talk to me about it. I'll explain what happened.

When I started the job a month ago, i was in the training department, training for a new job and they said there's some things we can't show you in training department, your manager will show you how to do them when you get down to the floor.

I went down to the floor. I thought I'd be shown how to do things. My manager had one chat with me when I started. Then she never spoke to me again for the whole month. I've been there a month with her.

I work in finance. She put me straight onto answering customer calls about their bank accounts, without showing me how to do anything.

These are very complicated systems that need to be shown to people. I wasn't shown a thing.

When I went to her with questions, she said she was busy or to ask someone else.

Eventually this week I went up to the training department where I got a talk about employees wellness and I was told by the lady "if you have any issues you can tell me I'm hearing to help".
I went up to her at the end and said I haven't been shown by my manager how to do anything and if I approach her she's really un helpful.

This lady said "I'm sorry to hear that we will put you into more training'

This lady then emailed my manager to tell her that I felt unsupported and that I hadn't been shown things.

She also encouraged me to email my manager my issues, so that it was in writing.

I emailed my manager saying you know I hadn't been shown how to do anything, any time I ask you for help you're busy, these are complicated financial systems, I need to be shown etc.

My manager then showed HER manager my email. Is it okay that she showed someone else what I wrote to her in an email with out asking me?

And then this higher manager came to talk to me after that. I never approached the higher manager first.

The higher manager came to talk to me. She was rude and unhelpful. She said "you said your manager doesnt speak to you, your manager has emailed me a form proving that she did talk to you".

I said "she talked to me once and those forms were signed at that one meeting". Tjat meeting was a month ago. I said She hasn't talked to me since that one meeting

The Higher manager (who is friends with manager) just dismissed all my concerns and and said "your manager is great". She also said to me "we are not here to make friends, this is a business"

I was then made to go back down.

The training department upstairs had told me that I could do more training with them next week before I go back to do the job.

I went down to my manager, and she said "I won't allow you to do more training they are not your manager, I am".

Wanted to write it out in full so you can see what it's like. We also have no HR dept in the building, so there is no one for me to go to

Edited

Can you go back to the higher up manager and say my manager won’t let me do any training. If possible ask your manager to send that in email to you.

fashionqueen0123 · 12/05/2024 12:41

Or, just go and do the training?

It doesn’t sound like your manager would even notice tbh?

MollyButton · 12/05/2024 12:50

Just to add how odd this is, my manager is 100 miles from me (and her manager 80 miles from her). We speak daily, and if I need to be shown something she will arrange someone to train me.

Carly944 · 12/05/2024 12:54

fashionqueen0123 · 12/05/2024 12:40

Can you go back to the higher up manager and say my manager won’t let me do any training. If possible ask your manager to send that in email to you.

She told me that the higher manager told her that I wasn't allowed to do it because of staffing levels.

The two of them are good friends.

The whole place is a shit show.

I can't understand why I've been put on complicated financial systems and straight into customer bank accounts, without being shown how to do a thing.

If I make a mistake , I could sent a customers money to the wrong bank account

OP posts:
spookehtooth · 12/05/2024 14:46

@Carly944 you can hardly blame me for not knowing stuff you hadn't said 🤣🤣

What I said about focusing on what's in your control still stands, tho. Channel your time and energy into things that will make a positive change for you, and based on what you've said it sounds like that's looking for another job.

Complaining to or about people who aren't going to change for you will just make you stressed and ill eventually. There's much wrong with my work, its exhausting nudging it in a good direction but I draw some positives from it towards building up my CV and get some reading and cooking done on the clock 🤷‍♂️ Not my preference but complaining about inefficiency and other people not doing their job didn't get results

Librarybooker · 12/05/2024 14:52

Seems like an odd set up. Also, we dropped the term manager years ago. We have team leaders and other less hierarchical terms. Yes we do work as a team. Yes we do have meetings. Keeping us all up to date with what’s happening in the wider company within our building and beyond is all part of working life.

saveforthat · 12/05/2024 14:55

I thought you were going to say you WFH. This is very odd if you are all in the same office. I started a WFH job in December. I had one meeting with my manager via teams. Nothing since. No 121s, he just sends me a teams message every few weeks saying you ok? Ring me if you need anything. My probation ends in a couple of weeks, I assume he might talk to me then.

LumiB · 12/05/2024 14:58

spookehtooth · 12/05/2024 14:46

@Carly944 you can hardly blame me for not knowing stuff you hadn't said 🤣🤣

What I said about focusing on what's in your control still stands, tho. Channel your time and energy into things that will make a positive change for you, and based on what you've said it sounds like that's looking for another job.

Complaining to or about people who aren't going to change for you will just make you stressed and ill eventually. There's much wrong with my work, its exhausting nudging it in a good direction but I draw some positives from it towards building up my CV and get some reading and cooking done on the clock 🤷‍♂️ Not my preference but complaining about inefficiency and other people not doing their job didn't get results

100% agree. Besides people notice if someone isn't pulling their weight so to speak. Same situation with ny manager I sont bother griping about it just grt on what I want to do and can grt out of my current role and funnily enough other coworkers start making comments to me asking what does she do ...I just smile and say I don't know I barely have any time with her I'm too busy to know...my standard neutral phrase incase it gets back to her

AhBiscuits · 12/05/2024 15:03

I chat to mine everyday about this and that, our kids etc. I ask her multiple questions a day about work. We have weekly 1-2-1s where we chat about anything particularly complex I might have on and what workloads are like. If either of us are WFH then we'll chat on Teams and probably have at least one video call a day.
I have my own subteam of 4 people and I talk to all of them throughout the day and they are constantly asking me questions.

fashionqueen0123 · 12/05/2024 15:14

Carly944 · 12/05/2024 12:54

She told me that the higher manager told her that I wasn't allowed to do it because of staffing levels.

The two of them are good friends.

The whole place is a shit show.

I can't understand why I've been put on complicated financial systems and straight into customer bank accounts, without being shown how to do a thing.

If I make a mistake , I could sent a customers money to the wrong bank account

I’d go in tomorrow and say exactly that. That’s really worrying!
No point in being concerned about staffing levels if it’s not the right people with right training! I reckon she wouldn’t even know you had gone.

Segway16 · 12/05/2024 15:22

I speak to my manager most days. My direct reports speak to me, depending on the individual, anywhere between daily and only if they absolutely have to.

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