How often do you talk to your manager

[Carly944]

I started a new job a month ago. I had a one to one meeting with my manager on the first day.

Since then she has never spoken to me. Not once.

We sit at a row of computers with a team. My manager sits two computers away from me.

She will just sit there all day doing her own work. And she will get up to talk to other managers. She will occasionally send us messages on teams if she wants us to know anything.

Other than that, she never ever speaks to us, even though we sit right beside her.

Is that not a bit weird?

I brought it up to my managers, manager.

I said "she never speaks to us". And the woman said "well do you speak to her".

!! I mean surely it's the boss's duty to interact with her staff. But I have actually tried to speak to her anyway and she just said she was busy

Surely as our boss she should be interacting with us. I just find the whole set up very weird

Several times a day, I sit next to her….shes very nice. If we’re working at home, we don’t talk unless we need something from each other.

That's bizarre!

I lead a team in a school so we are not in an office as we have our own classrooms and teach most of the day. I still make sure I check in and chat to my staff every day. I would consider it poor form on my part if I didn't!

My own line manager works on a different floor and officially we meet once a fortnight but I still speak to her everyday, even if it's brief.

If you attempt to speak to her and she doesn't respond or engage with you, maybe go back to her manager.

Weekly one to one meeting which is sometimes very full of work, sometimes chatty, opportunity to discuss anything bothering me.

Daily check ins but we’re an in-person workplace so often I will just pop into his office as we have a fair bit of confidential stuff to discuss and I share an office with my team.

How can you sit two computers away and not talk?
Any offices I’ve been in, loud ones and much quieter ones, there was always chatting and interaction at some level.
So one job I probably spent most of the day with my manager, in meeting, out and about meeting clients, talking about our weekend, our family or what holiday we’d booked. Then we’d chat about anything to do with work the rest of the day.

Another office was super quiet in comparison and the manager was anti social and had his own office but we still saw or spoke to him at least twice a day. It would have been much more if he had been out of his office.

Now with remote working it can be a lot less of course. But I find it odd if she’s sat near you! Doesn’t she even say hi or bye or want to come to lunch etc?!

I have a monthly one-to-one with my manager. It's definitely not enough.

My immediate management team either sees me in person or rings me once a shift.

I'm in a safety critical role so communication and good teamwork is essential.

My ultimate boss is in touch a few times a month but his role isn't in the frontline much, however he'll help out if needed.

Pretty much daily. I’m quite senior so she is more so. She asks my advice and vice versa, she’s far more diplomatic than I am and guides me through the pernicious office politics to get my own way. I’m a specialist and can advise her on other stuff. We have a pretty good relationship (even though I kinda hate my job - well, my organisation. I would like it if it weren’t for the poisonous cabal at the top).

I rarely hear from my manager. Just for 1-2-1s every month or 2 months. I can never get hold of her when I need her to discuss urgent matters. I like a manager to be more involved but I know some of my colleagues love being left alone.

Every day. My manager is the team leader, we are in constant contact with a team group chat.

I speak to the partner in charge of our team many times a day every day. Would be odd not to

She is a awful manager! I share a office with my manager and two other colleagues. We're basically talking all day long, as well as having catch up meetings every other day.

Maybe twice, or three times a week.

I've just started a new job. The manager works remotely (she moved away) & the rest of the team is in the office.

I've never had a meeting with her, or spoken to her outside team meetings. I email her if she sends me jobs & she says get X to help.

Instead I'm being 'trained' by X, a self important 21 year old who really does not understand her job, thinks training is pointing & saying 'give it a go' & nitpicks everything I do. Treats me like I'm stupid.

I miss my old manager, who left you to do your job, but always around to check in with & support you.

You really do need a good, supportive manager. I'm seeing the difference massively!!

About once a month. Rarely to speak about a management issue. She has little to do with my actual work.

I chose "you're being unreasonable". Its not a requirement to chat, all that matters is that they do what's necessary to get the job done and help with work-related tasks. Nobody ever built a healthy rapport with other people by complaining about or to them. I only want to talk to my boss when I have to, and my only expectation is that he meets my expectations on those occasions. Generally, those conversations are holiday requests and problems getting work done

By that, I didn't mean you're wrong to feel that way, just that I didn't think the way you're handling it can succeed. Generally, how do you feel about the working environment? If the environment at work, generally, isn't to your liking then looking for another job is probably the best course of action

I speak to my manager in person four days a week, usually multiple times a day. He WFH one day a week so on that day I either speak to him on the phone or on teams.

TBH, it doesn't look great for you to bring this up. Have you spoken to her? Included her in the conversation?
I wouldn't have this conversation with your managers manager as it makes you look petty and unable to solve yourself.

My workplace has been sensible enough to recognise that I'm best when left to get on with things in my own way and pace and I only ask them for something if I genuinely need it. I have had previous managers who didn't communicate at all, so I'm fairly used to having to advocate for myself (and work things out/solve problems without relying upon any one person). I'm not a fan of micromanagement at all though, to say the least.

However, as there's also a small team that only ever hear from a manager when they're dumping more work on them or bollocking them for something that isn't their fault, I kind of do an unofficial 'how's it going? Is there anything I can help you with?' check with them most days, as at least there's a chance that I'll have the knowledge to be able to help or explain something to them, which that manager doesn't (and frankly, doesn't care).

I wouldn't be comfortable ignoring anybody, least of all a new starter. But maybe that's why I have no management responsibilities or pay.

@spookehtooth you said "it's not a requirement for managers to speak".

I disagree. Managers need to talk to their employees about the job. That is what they are being paid to do! To manage staff.

I don't care that she doesn't speak to me socially.

I care that she doesn't speak to me about the job.

I care that she has not shown me how to do the job
. She has not trained me on any systems before putting me on them.

She never asks if I'm OK or need anything to help me do the job. If I go to her she says she's busy.

I've been thrown on to use very complicated financial systems that I haven't a clue how to do. And she has not shown me how to do anything

@bubblesforbreakfast you said it doesn't look good that I went to my managers manager about it.

I didn't actually. She came to me to to talk to me about it. I'll explain what happened.

When I started the job a month ago, i was in the training department, training for a new job and they said there's some things we can't show you in training department, your manager will show you how to do them when you get down to the floor.

I went down to the floor. I thought I'd be shown how to do things. My manager had one chat with me when I started. Then she never spoke to me again for the whole month. I've been there a month with her.

I work in finance. She put me straight onto answering customer calls about their bank accounts, without showing me how to do anything.

These are very complicated systems that need to be shown to people. I wasn't shown a thing.

When I went to her with questions, she said she was busy or to ask someone else.

Eventually this week I went up to the training department where I got a talk about employees wellness and I was told by the lady "if you have any issues you can tell me I'm hearing to help".
I went up to her at the end and said I haven't been shown by my manager how to do anything and if I approach her she's really un helpful.

This lady said "I'm sorry to hear that we will put you into more training'

This lady then emailed my manager to tell her that I felt unsupported and that I hadn't been shown things.

She also encouraged me to email my manager my issues, so that it was in writing.

I emailed my manager saying you know I hadn't been shown how to do anything, any time I ask you for help you're busy, these are complicated financial systems, I need to be shown etc.

My manager then showed HER manager my email. Is it okay that she showed someone else what I wrote to her in an email with out asking me?

And then this higher manager came to talk to me after that. I never approached the higher manager first.

The higher manager came to talk to me. She was rude and unhelpful. She said "you said your manager doesnt speak to you, your manager has emailed me a form proving that she did talk to you".

I said "she talked to me once and those forms were signed at that one meeting". Tjat meeting was a month ago. I said She hasn't talked to me since that one meeting

The Higher manager (who is friends with manager) just dismissed all my concerns and and said "your manager is great". She also said to me "we are not here to make friends, this is a business"

I was then made to go back down.

The training department upstairs had told me that I could do more training with them next week before I go back to do the job.

I went down to my manager, and she said "I won't allow you to do more training they are not your manager, I am".

Wanted to write it out in full so you can see what it's like. We also have no HR dept in the building, so there is no one for me to go to

Just sound shit to be honest. Don't focus on not talking to me a month, just always bring it back to I need this training when can you give it, I still haven't had this train when can we book in time together. My manager hasn't trained me. And repeat in various ways.

So when she can back and denied your training did you ask when she will give it to you? What date and time? And if no immediate answer follow up on email so u have a chain of proof

The higher up only sees the point about she hasn't talked to me ina mo th. She doesn't see the real point which is the training. So that's my advice to you, focus it about the job and the training you need.
Anything I future, always bring it back to the job.

She probably doesn’t want to be a manager. More and more people are going forward for these management roles because they need to move up the ladder because they need more money because they can’t afford housing, cost of living, etc. But they have no management skills or desire to lead people or cultivate a happy team/environment.

In one of my previous jobs the head of department was similar. We weren’t allowed work from home ever because he didn’t allow it, but he turned his desk in an open plan office to face the desk away from us all, he didn’t say hello or goodbye, and would take days to respond to emails or messages despite sitting right there. He created such an uncomfortable atmosphere.

Every day.

We're all in the same (quite small) office. So we very much work as a team although manager obviously isn't generally working on I am.

But unless they're in a meeting I can ask any time for help or advice or I'm available for them to ask me to work on something for them.

We also talk socially every day as a whole team and most days 1 to 1 if other members of the team are out.

We have a weekly 1:1 catch up specifically to catch up on current projects etc.

Love my work. Love my manager.

I speak to my team lead at practically all day every day…about work and non work stuff. My manager…probably once/twice a week. But sometimes more depending on what’s going on.