To not feel guilty about maternity leave colleague

[NinePumpkins]

I have been off work due to chronic illness since November of last year - actually, my cancer was diagnosed just after I started in this job about 4 years ago, so my whole employment has been blighted by my illnesses (cancer now in remission, other stuff going on). Nevertheless, I enjoy the job when I'm able to do it - it's an administrative position.

Recently, redundancy proposals were announced at my company, and in my team the other 2 administrators at the level above and below me were put at risk. My role is to be continued. I've now heard it on the grapevine that one of the others, currently on maternity leave, is annoyed about the whole situation, and frustrated that we weren't all put in a pool for redundancy?? I'm sorry she's heard the news while on mat leave and sure that it's stressful, but I'm confident I can return to my position. AIBU for not feeling guilty about it? I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to return, and am currently on unpaid sick leave, but I know things will ultimately be resolved.

I think that's possibly the point though NinePumpkins - if you're now on unpaid sick leave, your company doesn't have to worry about paying you at the moment: She is anxious because they are paying her mat pay and she's not there. It's really understandable that she's anxious, and also that she's cheesed off that having done her time she's now having her time with her baby spoilt by this. Even if she is kept on, I can see that she would still be really anxious about what she would be returning to.

I don't think you need to feel guilty. I don't want to rain on your confidence here, but I also wouldn't assume you are safe if your role has already ceased to exist by default. If they're trying to save money by reducing/merging administrative roles, they would have no reason to consider you for redundancy at the moment as you're not costing them anything. If you're beyond the 28 weeks SSP, as PP said they may be planning to manage you out under sickness policy if they decide they need to reduce staffing at your level, and therefore don't need to announce redundancies in your band. If I were you, I would still be checking your contract and thinking about joining any union if there is one and you have not already.

Lots of 'projection/heard it on the grapevine/she wants me to feel guilty' here!
Sounds like you are trying to make her look bad and as if she's horrible to you while she's off and can't defend the (what sounds like bullying) bitching?

She’s entitled to question how the redundancy process is managed, its not personal.

You don’t need to feel guilty but maybe a bit of understanding of her position would be nice. Pretty sure if you’d been working hard covering someone’s role (since they didn’t hire a cover for 6 months!) and then you got put at threat of redundancy but the sick person didn’t, you’d be pissed off too

It's not difficult to understand tbh.

It's bad luck, not your fault but I don't think she'd be unreasonable to question why her post is being made redundant and others are seemingly safe from this, this may have translated back to you badly so I would give the benefit of the doubt. How many people are affected by the redundancy?

So there are 3 roles, one is off on maternity and another is off sick for 6 months and not being covered? And they are making the last remaining person redundant too? It doesn't sound like there's any work to do.

I don't get why you'd feel guilty though, none of it is anything you have any control over. The maternity leave person is entitled to have the proper process followed. It's nothing to do with you

Who is doing the work then?
If it's a role that will be continued, but currently no one is doing it - why is it still deemed necessary?

Or are the other staff, including those who are now up,for redundancy, covering the additional,work load? And is that why they feel aggrieved that you aren't all in the same redundancy pool?

I don't think this is about you though?

She is on maternity leave and found this out, of course she's incredibly stressed. This isn't about you.

There are 3 roles, mine is the only one being kept on as it's agreed only one admin needed - the other 2 are at risk.

Honestly I agree with the other comments that you need to stop worrying about her and start worrying about yourself. Cancer or not, you are still subject to absence management procedures up to and including dismissal, your continuous absence would definitely have been taken into account as they consider redundancies. By this, I mean taking legal advice on their next steps with regard to you.

the fact they have made your entire team redundant suggests they will do similar with your role - plus they can show they’re not being discriminatory as the entire team was made redundant as opposed to just the disabled person’s role.

If I'd been covering for a colleague on extended sick leave but then I was put up for redundancy and they weren't, I'd be pissed off and questioning why that role wasn't in the pool at risk. If your reading between the lines is accurate (and you can't know if it is), that's a perfectly reasonable way for her to feel. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong or should feel guilty but she's entitled to question the process.

But as others have said, I wouldn't be so sure your job is safe.

Being honest I would be keeping on either the maternity leave lady or someone else who hasn't been off sick for six months. It makes more business sense. You sound a bit gleeful. I hope it doesn't bite you on the bum.

I got a message from her checking in to ask how I was doing (she's never directly messaged me before), then another saying how upset she and the other admin are.

Or, big shocker, she's thinking about herself and her own job and you're making it all about you?

People are so good at that. She's allowed to be upset. She's allowed to question it. It has no reflection on you.

Just because your role is safe, it doesn’t mean you are safe OP. I am just being completely honest but no worker is that good that a company will hold onto them when they have been continuously absent. The truth is they need an employee that is able to do the job and long term you don’t even know when you can return to work. You can be the nicest most efficient person ever, but there’s no doubt your absence will cause problems for them especially if they’re paying you

"Reading between the lines' = making it up.

Stop thinking about this woman, who is allowed to feel whatever she wants, and focus on you.

She has done and is doing nothing wrong. Being at risk of redundancy is hugely stressful so of course she will be worried and it’s human nature to think it unfair that one person out of three who does the role isn’t at risk too.

I wouldn’t be so certain your role is secure if you’re sickness record (even though entirely justified and required - your health is far more important) is high, especially if you’ve been sick for the last 4 years (even though through no fault of your own).

People reach out to colleagues at times of uncertainty.

To be honest I’m not sure why you’ve referred to her as “maternity leave colleague”. Your period of sick leave is much more significant than hers. She is more dependable in grand scheme than you have been to date. I think you really need to give your head a wobble and understand you’re in a more precarious position.

if you found out about this because a colleague told in a personal message, you are not finding out through official channels. Your manager hasn’t told you yet, and therefore you are not aware of your position in all this. Your colleague would not be privy to the entire picture and therefore you are working with limited knowledge

If itnis even true, I thibk her reaction is quite natural. She hasn't been nasty. Hasn't even said anything. But when you're made redundant it is quite natural (even if unfaily) to think "why me, why not that person" and you are probably an easy target due to you being off sick. You don't have to feel quilty. You haven't influences these decisions.

So she’s not said anything, is the one worried about losing her jobs, especially whilst she’s off with a new baby, and you’re making it all about you.

I know you said you don’t feel guilty but you must be feeling something for you to be thinking this much about it.

If they only need one admin and your it but your not there - how does that work ?

Why this thread? Did you want everyone to agree that she's awful?

Just focus on your own stuff.