Takeaways every night !

[Lookwhostalking25]

I am sure I will be absolutely jumped on
but I just cannot get the hang of sorting dinner out 😂😂🙈
single mum of 3 ( baby and 2 primary school kids, one of which is disabled ) widowed nearly a year now.
I can juggle about everything else but food I struggled before returning back to work but wasn’t too bad but since returning I just haven’t managed it.
today was day 14 of takeouts after going back to work 2 weeks ago 😂😂
please send me tips because I’m sure the kids will come accustomed very shortly to take our lives haha !

Do an online grocery shop this weekend. Plan your meals for the week - but this week they are all ready meals eg. family size cottage pie, lagasna etc. Buy some frozen veg to go with each meal, even if just peas for now.

Then next week when doing online shop decide one day which can be something easy you cook, such as stuffed pasta and sauce. Every week make one change until in a few weeks you have a menu for the week planned out that includes some ready meals but also some easy dishes you can whip up without any bother.

Batch cooking at the weekend, a slow cooker and an air fryer have all been invaluable to me as a single mum. The slow cooker in particular has meant me being able to get a meal cooking when I have the energy, that's then ready at teatime. Look up slow cooker dump bags - they are a game changer!

The main thing is to have every day planned and ready in the fridge/freezer for exactly those times when you are too tired too cook.

Easy meals for me are beans on toast and pasta bake with tinned sweetcorn, how about tomato soup from a can? Rice pudding again canned, cherry tomatoes in everything as adds veg with 0 prep, frozen meals and microwave some frozen peas with it. Carrot sticks, cucumber, fish fingers, hot dogs. It sounds like you are coping well in lots of ways and should be proud of yourself

You have a LOT on emotionally and practically.

I would try to set a target of halving it for now - so takeaways three school nights, three 'meals' and one day just do sandwiches.

'Really easy but better and cheaper than takeaways' is enough to aim for:
Beans on toast
Eggs of any type with toast
Pasta and pesto/jarred sauce
Jacket potatoes with cheese/beans
Fishfinger sandwiches and frozen peas

Serve some salad bits with everything, and plenty of fruit.
Buy top quality bread and they can have toast for snacks.

You're doing fine.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Single parenting three kids isn't easy, especially when one is a baby, especially if you don't get a break, especially when they're grieving. If they eat too many takeaways then thats ok.

I'm a single parent to two kids. In our house the solution for Mon-Thur nights is:

Two meals which you all like (or at least which all the kids like), which are very quick to do. This sorts nights with clubs, nights when you're late back from work etc. Ours are beans on toast and a picky plate with sandwiches/crisps/veg/fruit etc. Do these every week. Only swap them for other equally quick meals.

Cook a triple portion of one proper decent, healthy, nice meal each weekend and freeze the remaining two portions of it. Things like spag bol, chilli, sausage caserole, roast chicken, curry etc. Eat two of these freezer meals during the week. This takes a bit longer but is pretty easy to do with the kids around.

I finish early on a friday so Friday after school we often go to the supermarket and choose dinner. The kids often pick quick things like ready meal / frozen pizza etc but sometimes we'll do a proper meal then.

Also, if at all possible book them in for school dinners at lunchtime. Makes life loads easier!

To the original poster-Look at how hard you’ve had it - don’t feel guilty! You’re doing your best!! I find instant rice sachets very handy if you have a microwave - we usually plan a very easy dinner which might use these or fast cooking pasta or a quick baked potato in the micro and I do some very very easy meals around a carb. Things that take very little time. Frozen veggies are as good as fresh. But drop the guilt!

You're getting by. Your kids are loved, cared for and fed. Sometimes that's all we can aim for.

My tip would be to cook once a week on a Sunday morning. Make a shepherd's/cottage/fish pie, a big chilli and a chicken curry/pasta bake. These can usually be left in the fridge for a few days and cooked/heated up in the evening when you need them.

That will do you Mon/Tue/Wed.

Thursday - pizza, chicken nuggets or fish fingers with chips/pasta and boiled veg on the side.

Friday - takeaway.

Saturday - takeaway one week/try to cook together the other week.

I'm in a similar position OP. My partner passed away in September and I've been back at work since Nov, and finding the energy to think about food/cook every day is the absolute worst thing about my day to day life. My kids are 12 and 15 (15yo has autism and is unable to do more than pour himself some a bowl of cereal) and they are always bloody hungry, and I'm exhausted. I just don't have the energy to batch cook late at night or on my days off (one weekday which is filled with errand running and one weekend day where I try and do the backlog of housework). There is a lot of freezer food here. Plus 12yo has hot dinners at school to try and reduce the need for a full cooked meal every night. However my son won't eat school dinners, so it doesn't help much here!
Now going back to hopefully read everyone's wonderful ideas.

Are you OK? This sounds like a lot. You've obviously been through so much. Are you able to get any help from family, friends, other services in the area? You're doing great but women weren't meant to have this much burden alone - it takes a village.

To answer the question, you'd save far more money to use Gousto or HelloFresh and it's healthy, tasty stuff. Or batch cook with a slow cooker. Maybe a friend could help, say, you give up a Saturday and do it together. Make some freezer space and you could get a lot for your money. That way, just defrost, heat up, add some frozen veg.

How about this as a starting point?
Gousto-3 meals
Coconut Haddock Curry With Green Beans 10 minute meal

Peanut Butter Veg-Packed Udon 10 minute meal

Jumbo Prawn Saganaki 10 minute meal

2x takeaways

Roast chicken
With new potatoes roasted in olive oil
Ready made cauli cheese
Frozen peas
Ready made Yorkshire’s

Salmon fillets or chicken with ready to wok noodles and bag of ready to stir fry noodles

*stir fry veg not double noodles!

I think this is really good advice. Start slow.

Use the weekends to meal plan and shop accordingly.

I plan out meals for each day then add what I need to make that to the shopping list. I've also started doing an online shop so I don't go off track and saves going to the shop.

It will be hard but you can do it!

Maybe put aside the money you save so you can see it and save up for a little holiday for you all or some nice garden furniture, paddling pool etc.

OP, I have been in a similar situation, although my children were a bit older than yours. I found also that cooking/food was one of the worst things, because in the evenings the children would need a lot of attention, as they are also grieving and have done a long day at school or nursery.

For that reason:

1. Do online shopping only, set up Sainsburys or whatever
2. Get snacks in that next shop to stop them feeling hungry on journey home, doesn't have to be unhealthy, can be bananas
3. When you get home do very simple meals, lots of suggestions on here, but eggs and beans and toast are fine
4. Do also some 'arranging things on a plate' meal- mine love olives, hummus, salami type plates, buy nice bread or potato salad as carbs
5. Buy a couple of ready meals like lasagne in a tray that you can all eat for two days a week
6. Carry on having takeaways a couple of days a week for now, you can have burritos or something 'healthier' than fish and chips
7. I wouldn't go for batch cooking on a weekend morning or Gousto, because you have three tiny children, a job and are grieving and those things take time away from your most important jobs, looking after them and you
8. Get cleaner/support in the home, including getting milk in and some basic food, cleaners are usually happy to do this if you pay them the same as when they are cleaning

Be very very kind to yourself, if they are fed and clean, that is a win. It's easy to supplement their diet with fruit and bags of salad as well if you are worried about nutrition.

This is the hand we were dealt and just have to find a way forward that is doable, the fact others are preparing hand-made dinners from scratch is irrelevant- they need you to be ok, stable and able to manage, that's the number one priority,

THIS.

Fresh back in work with a baby and two older children, one disabled, and still recently widowed? You’re a hero for not feeding your kids cereal every night, in my books. Give yourself some grace to do what you need to do until you find your feet at work (maybe the first 6 weeks?). Then as others suggested, look into meal kits and/or batch cooking.

Massive props to you. You sound like an incredible human.

It sounds like you’re struggling, being a widow with 3 children must be hard however you need to put their health first and stop being a bit lazy and reaching for the takeaways, you can do recipes that take 15 minutes to prepare and have far more nutrients in them. Your children are going to end up overweight or very unhealthy with their diet. Reach out to the school for support on this before it becomes a monthly occurrence and then life long. Children’s eating habits should be taken more seriously than what they are. 😢😢😢

@Lookwhostalking25

You may want to look into getting an Instant Pot. My son got one and uses it all the time to cook tasty & healthy meals in no time. Also functions as a slow cooker. He throws in meat, veg, rice/potatoes, water/broth & a few seasonings and pushes a button or two.

They aren't cheap, but he's paid for it twice over in savings from takeaways and junky food.

I don’t understand people suggesting nuggets and jars of sauce as better than takeaways as standard OP - you sound like you are getting variety into the children’s diet. My thinking is maybe give yourselves a healthy snack after school a couple of days a week giving you time to get something else together a little later - something easy along the lines of omelettes and jacket potatoes. I’d build just a little time of batch cooking once a week as well for extra money saving/cutting down on salt and then relax - you’re doing really well.

Sorry for your loss.

A slow cooker and/or tray bakes woukd help. Just chuck everything in.

Have you any help? Siblings? Decent friends? that could give you a dig out? I would do a family sized cottage pie/lasagna weekly to help you out for a while if you were my sibling/friend. Decent people will help if you ask.

Oh sod off with your little sad faces 🤣

Firstly I'm sorry for your loss. You sound like you are doing amazing by providing and putting food on the table no matter where it came from. I bet you are exhausted!
My partner works away sometimes for weeks and I have a baby and a young child so the best thing I have found is, weekly big shop will save you pennies but get frozen onions and ready peeled potatoes. And get the easy garlic. Prep is the thing that annoys me the most I find just using things like frozen veg and ready peeled potatoes it's so much easier. Also put a meal plan together before the big shop. Also do yourself a favour click and collect it!
Make staple dishes. I. E I always have something in for toad in the hole, cottage pie, chicken pie (using ready roll pastry, roast dinner and spag bol, jacket spud and fillings or tuna pasta bake and steam fresh bags are your best friend look for the asda own type ones though because they are much cheaper I put them with everything the veg and the rice and they even do pasta and brocoli ones too so not too bad for the kids. Also throw a ready meal in for once a week or some frozen kiddy tea stuff and get yourself an air fryer if you don't have one because tea literally takes minutes.
Also if you want to have a fun tea get the kids making their own pizza. You can pick up plain pizza bases and it's a bit of fun for them then too as well as help for you. Now it's warmer as well things like stir frys very easy and quick to make and a bit more kid friendly than salad.

Icelands meal in a bag are really good OP if you have a freezer! www.iceland.co.uk/frozen/frozen-ready-meals/meal-in-a-bag

Good Lord. Out of all the things schools do to support children and families, you're suggesting that they also wade in on the evening meal? What do you suggest - sending the School Business Manager round with a bag of salad nightly?

Don’t be an afraid to keep a jar or two in - they are great!

roast a chicken and use it for curry/ cold
fish- easy to cook - boxed a great addition to the freezer
the secret to batch cooking is double it and freeze
sausages - useful
frozen veg
potatoes
pasta
rice

keep a store cupboard with tomato puree

agree multi cooker, airfyer, slow cooker all useful

@Lookwhostalking25

Enjoy your bbq. Top tip, precook meat in the oven (except burgers and hot dog sausages) to speed things up.

Think about some super easy meals for you that are suitable from weaning upwards:

Couscous salmon bake
Thaw out aka leave on side) a bag of frozen Mediterranean vegetables,
Make up couscous mixing 200ml boiling water to 150g couscous, add lemon juice (fine to use bottled) and black pepper and a drizzle of olive oil (or normal oil)
Mix veg with couscous and spread into an over dish, lay salmon fillets or side salmon over and loosely cover with foil, put in oven at 200 for 12-15 minutes remove foil squeeze a bit of lemon over and bake a further 2-3 minutes. Can be eaten cold for lunch next day too.

Easy curry
Fry chicken thighs, onions and peppers (use frozen for ease if you want) add half a jar korma paste and a can of coconut milk. Cook 20 minutes. Add chopped coriander at the end.
Cook rice or use packets.

Make a cheat bolognaise, browned mince, frozen onions or soffrito mix, can of chopped tomatoes and jar of sauce.

Chicken bake on pan.
Set oven at 190
Add to roasting pan chicken pieces, new potatoes, chopped butternut squash (no need to peel), couple of peppers roughly chopped, onions chopping roughly, sprinkle with a little oil and Cajun seasoning, bake 40 minutes, drizzle honey and lay tenderstem broccoli on top and return to oven for 8-10 minutes.

These aren't all that cheap but are super easy, kids can help especially using frozen veg, and better than takeaways.

I also would add don't be afraid to accept help from your community, there will be people quite willing to help you out with say a lasagne ready to pop in the oven or a casserole but you need to let them know you would appreciate help. I have a few people locally that I help out when they need it, it's just being neighbourly and letting them know they are not alone.

Take care and make sure you can get some time to yourself, your kids need you to look after yourself. Let us know how things are going in a few weeks.

Well done - an utterly ridiculous post which combines smug judgementalism with zero actual helpful suggestions.

Loving the school now responsible for children's meals at home - I'm sure every teacher on MN will be thrilled at that opportunity.

Sorry for your loss, don't be too hard on yourself re the takeaways, sometimes it's just so handy! I really struggled to get into the swing of things with dinners when I went back to work after maternity leave, so I really relied on the slow cooker! Some evenings if I wasn't too tired I would make the next days dinners so it was ready to bung in the oven/hob. Things like bolognese, lasagnes, curries are so handy to get ready the night before. I got the bored of lunch slow cooker recipe book for Christmas and there is loads of tasty handy recipes in it 😀 if you work long/odd hours I'd recommend the slow cookers with the timers on it x