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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoying school mum

56 replies

Mama211609 · 09/05/2024 22:47

Sooo i cant decide if i am just being totally unreasonable, however there is a mum from my children's primary school, who i hardly know but she messages me all the time! Her son is in my sons class she is by no means horrible she means well...but i just dont like her ....shes just not my sort of person? She constantly Messages me random things and asking for us to go places...ive said no every single time of the 100 times shes asked yet she doesnt give up? I think the thing that annoys me the most ....is she asks to meet up and go to certain places with her just as she cant drive and wants me to ferry her and her son about?! i feel like saying shes very odd is a bit mean? but im at the point where i avoid her at all costs and cant bare to spend anymore time around her than needs be? How do you politely ask someone to leave me alone without being/sounding like a total b? Its driving me insane

OP posts:
PassingStranger · 16/05/2024 00:29

misszebra · 09/05/2024 23:01

you're allowed to not want to be her friend. just make a few wild excuses and hopefully shell eventually get the idea. its uncomfortable for you - maybe she is a little socially incapable? hence not being able to drive, so much spare time and no social cues?
you're not mean for saying no, you're not obliged to spend time with her. she will have to get the idea eventually.

Just because you don't drive, dosent mean your socially incapable. Nasty Post and assumption.

RawBloomers · 16/05/2024 01:45

If she has made lots of trip requests and every single one is genuinely something you would have to drive them to and your children are not friends then I would consider responding to the next one with something along the lines of:

Look, I’m not a taxi service. Stop asking me for lifts and trying to disguise it as a play date.

Though, tbh, I’d be more likely to just block her.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 16/05/2024 08:54

I learned there’s a difference between a diagnosis and a personality and you are not a friendship charity .....

Greatadvice 👏👏👏.
@YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo

SnoqualmieRiver · 16/05/2024 09:46

@BingoMarieHeeler
'I would say about 200 people I don’t know have access to my number via various WhatsApp groups.'

Another reason not to be so stupid as to use WhatApp.

Doodleflips · 16/05/2024 19:46

Whatisnormalneuromum · 10/05/2024 10:14

I’d ask myself if I was you

  • is she lonely?
  • does she have any friends?
  • does she have anyone else her son can associate with.
  • is she as you say “odd” or just not fitting into stereotypical norm when it comes to being antisocial outside of your normal friendships.

while you’re entitled and valid in your feelings there’s obviously a reason this lady wants to communicate. And I doubt as you say it’s just because she doesn’t drive.
(From an outside opinion ofcorse)

you could tell her you’re uncomfortable being around people who are not in your usual circle but being an empath id be looking into why she wants contact so much.
Maybe she’s lonely, maybe she has no friends, maybe a lot of people find her as you say “odd” and she’s isolated.

being autistic and a parent who struggles with social ques and boundaries in terms
of this subject I have had your opinion on this lady put on me plenty of times. When in reality if I think a person seems genuine I just reach out and be an adult and try to make a mum friend.

as I say your feelings are valid but it sounds to me like she just wants a friend and someone who has a child her age in the same class of the same age would be ideal no?
just my opinion.

No.
she may be any or all of those things, but the op doesn’t want to be her friend/spend time with her , so she doesn’t have to.
Being a empath does not mean no boundaries and being a people pleaser

T1Dmama · 17/05/2024 18:34

Wesel85 · 13/05/2024 20:12

I have just moved to a new place, half way across the country with my family and thought it would be easy to make new mum friends due to my children ages.

I find that If I'm not forward enough or don't engage and take the initiative other mums tend to ignore me, which can be rather disheartening.

I'm not sure how any one makes friends these days when so many mums on here saying to just ignore messages ect.

On the other side of that coin tho sometimes you just don't click with a person I always think being honest and direct without being too harsh is the best way to go.

This! I’m finding most of the replies on this thread rather sad!
She might just want to arrange something to help her son make friends, and enhance her friendship circle… just because she doesn’t drive doesn’t make her a user!

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