Nursery - advice pls

[SassyCrab]

My 9 month old went to nursery today and I’m really shocked. It was the second day of him starting and I got a phone call asking to pick him up around half 1 as he has a temperature, he did keep me up the night before but I thought it was down to teething. When I picked him up he was screaming (he’s usually a really happy baby) but again I thought it was just down to him being “ill”. Well when I asked when he had his last bottle, the nursery worker said “ I didn’t feed him one today as he’s had loads of food” ? What ? My babies 9 months old and hasn’t had a bottle all day because he’s had food?! So I took him home and gave him a bottle, he went asleep & woke up completely fine. This tells me he was crying because he was hungry for a bottle and they couldn’t identify that and just called me straight away to pick him up. My poor baby! I just don’t know what to do, I’ve called the nursery and told them he needs his bottles of milk priority over food! I just don’t know if I can trust them looking after him if they can’t even tell he’s hungry for his bottle & to add to that I took his temperature when I got home it was 36.5. Opinions?

What instructions did you leave about his bottles when you signed him up? Did you send a bottle with him to nursery?

Surely though you tell them what time he has his bottle.. eg 9am 12pm etc. my nursery will do exactly what i ask of them within reason.. so if the bottle is 10 mins late, or baby cries looking it earlier then they will follow their lead. I can't understand them not giving it at all unless your instructions were a bit vague

I told them I will feed him around 7am before nursery and then his next feed is around 10.30/11 and she said okay that’s fine. It is common sense though to feed a 9 month at least once between when I dropped him off at 8am and half 1, he’s a baby he don’t need big meals. He needs milk! And yes I give them everything (3 bottles) so I don’t understand how they thought it’s ok not to feed him all day.

I'd let it slide for one day and give them an opportunity to redeem themselves. If it happens again though I would be finding a new daycare.

If you have them instructions and bottles and they ignored this then yes I think that’s bad

No it’s a bit crap isn’t it? Because you’d have filled in a form with his schedule/routine on it and they should all be aware of it.

It’s not ok. Find a new nursery. Better still a childminder. I don’t feel nurseries are right for under 2s. Overstimulating and don’t meet their needs. From an ex nursery nurse!

I have worked in nurseries- it’s not great at all that they didn’t follow instructions. Also, nurseries are notorious for saying kids have temperatures if that thermometer goes even marginally up- it’s very annoying, especially as most have the rule that they then can’t come back in for 24 hrs! That said, a 9 month old who has had a morning bottle, breakfast and presumably lunch probably doesn’t need a bottle at 10/10.30? I know they’re all different but really they don’t need loads and loads of milk at this age.

Nursery should be giving him the milk at the times you asked however if he has had food he hasn’t been left to go hungry. Most 9 month olds only have 3 bottles a day morning, night and somewhere in the middle of the day so I think it’s a little harsh to say they lack common sense in not giving a 9 month old milk in the time frame he was there. But if you’ve told them certain times he has milk and they haven’t followed this you have every right to be concerned and I would address this with them.

All the crying probably led to a slightly raised temp. If they can’t tell a hungry baby cry there’s something very wrong. Sounds like they are trying to speed up weaning.

I think you need to speak with the manager first thing tomorrow to make sure they are clear on what the feeding routine is and clarify why they didnt follow instructions!

I wouldn't be happy about that at all. I would request a meeting with the nursery manager tomorrow and start looking for a new nursery.

That is bad. But did you actually say ‘feed’ and not bottles? Could the confusion be because they did feed him, it was just food and not milk, and they thought you meant you give him breakfast before nursery? I think you need to specify that he has a bottle at 11am.

YANBU!

Good is fun before 1! He should be getting his main source of food from.milk. Your poor baby!

Unfortunately, my experience of nurseries is that young girls with limited education and experience are left in charge of young babies and children.

I wouldn't use a nursery for an under 2.

There feeding my baby 3 big meals which he doesn’t need. For instance, for lunch he got a curry & dessert and then for dinner the same. He’s a baby he only needs small portions and more milk. Trust me I went through it with them very thoroughly what he eats and how many bottles he has, and what times. They seemed to do it fine on Tuesday but then today I don’t know what they was doing?! They said because he only had 3ounces the day before they didn’t feed it today. I just think it’s quite bad, a 9 month is screaming in distress and not one nursery worker can work out why he’s crying

Mine both started nursery at nine months and neither took a bottle so they just had food and water all day and were fine, so I don't think expecting him to be a little further along with weaning is so crazy. I imagine many nine month olds would have dropped that mid morning bottle by now (although it's been a while, I'm rusty!).

Not figuring out that he was hungry isn't great though, and calling you over a non existent temp is infuriating. I'd be very wary tbh.

All babies are different and mine still loves his milk, so I’d rather them focus on feeding his milk than giving him big meals that I don’t believe he eats. It’s weird when I feed him his lunch at home he barely eats it but somehow when he goes nursery he eats everything. Just don’t make sense and not sure how accurate there noting everything down.

Before one their primary diet is supposed to be milk. That’s why there is the saying of “food before one is just for fun”
or whatever. Meals are about exploring and getting used to - most calories should be milk form.

Oh yeah if he still needs his milk he should be getting it, don't get me wrong, I'm just saying that it's not so crazy for them to be focussed more on the solids as it's probably pretty typical.

He probably does eat more there, especially if they're giving less milk, this is one of the things lots of parents find. Even at that young age there's something in the social side of things when they all sit down together.

They should be feeding the bottles according to the routine you specified in the paperwork when you started though.

As a childminder myself I would be concerned with why when baby was distressed they didn't see if he wanted a bottle. Its common sense when caring for a baby who's routine has been changed (starting nursery is a change even if you keep everything else the same).
There are very good childcare settings and there are poor ones. Next time they ask you to collect because of a temperature bring a thermometer and check it when you pick up... just in case you happen to have picked somewhere that thinks that settling in a baby is too much like hard work. 9 months old is a really difficult age to settle for lots of little ones and it's very hard work and mentally draining. Of course that's the job and the hard work really pays off when you have little ones who are happy and thriving.

Food isn't just for fun before one. By 12 months they should ideally be on three meals, possibly with a couple of snacks, and they no longer need formula. So between six and 12 months they should be moving in that direction (at their own pace). Also, breastfed babies need to be eating food with iron long before a year.

The goal is to build them up to that but to always make sure they are given milk
because it’s never clear how much they have eaten! I know about iron for BF babies, thanks, I’ve had 4! But of course you can give them vitamins (and should anyway when BF, from much younger than that). By 12 months yes they will be generally eating more food but every child is different and the amount they actually ingest varies wildly. Whereas the amount of milk is always measured and seen.

OP has made it clear her daughter is a child who drinks a lot of milk - they should have listened to that.

It's only day 2 and they're still getting to know him.

You have to be a little bit realistic about nursery care (I say this as someone who previously worked in nursery).
Your baby is one of many, staff are busy. Babies are put on the nursery routine in terms of meals. All the babies are going to be offered 3 full meals a day.
It isn't 'common sense' that babies have mid morning bottles. Some do, lots don't.
Sometimes naps and bottles are going to be given late or skipped compared to the home routine.

I’m paying nursery £800 a month to look after my child a few days a week which is a lot of money in my eyes, so I expect them to do the bare minimum and feed my baby his milk when he’s in hysterics because they don’t know why he’s crying! It is very unfair that they’ve called me to collect him because he wanted his milk and in my eyes just didn’t want to deal with him. I’m not going to cut nursery some slack when it comes to MY baby, I work an hour away from where I live and don’t want to be getting unnecessary calls either to collect him when he’s genuinely fine and just hungry!

Thank you!!! You’ve hit the nail on the head!

£800 a month gets you a room full of babies and the bare minimum numbers of staff trying to look after them all. Not everything will run totally on schedule every day.