Would this bother you?

[TheEnglishPatent]

DH and I have been married for 6 years, together for 10, and 1 DS. He’s never given me any reason to doubt or not trust him. We’re both in our early 40s.

We've never had the same taste in music. He has a favourite band he’s seen loads and I’ve been with him a few times. I don’t enjoy it and made it clear last time that I wasn’t going with him again. He’s seen them since with friends.

Just before Christmas, a new woman started in his team. She’s in her late 20s, although her and DH are at roughly the same level career wise. It’s clear she and DH get on well, he mentions her when talking about work, although they don’t socialise outside of work events. One thing they have in common is both love the band.

The band are playing again in our area in a few months and she’s suggested they go together, as DH had mentioned he was considering getting tickets and going alone.

He’s been completely open with me about it, and says he would like to go with her just because it’s better than going on his own. However, I feel funny about it and can’t tell whether I’m just being ridiculous or I’m right to be concerned.

He does have female friends but the big difference is they’re his age, are in relationships, and I’ve met them.

AIBU?

😆 It's so sweet that you believe that.

@TheEnglishPatent Hard NO. No way would I be OK with this. Tell him YOU will go with him.

I do not think that it is necessary at all to be suspicious. If they have discovered a shared love of certain musicians, it can be an instant bond. I had a shared love of Blondie with ex boss.

We went to a gig together. We bought the shirts. We went to another a couple of years later, this time with his teenage daughter. She loved it! We had nice clean boundaries, our partners were entirely in the picture. It was all lovely actually!

Nothing worse than a clingy partner. Let him go with her without tagging along to keep an eye on them. Keep things in perspective....nothing ruins a relationship more that insecurity and/or jealousy.

Concert's probably over now. This was posted in May.

If you want to be Cool Partner that’s fine. However this would not sit well with me, nor would my partner be ok with it if it was reversed.

Completely unreasonable. My hubby regularly does dog walks and stuff with a younger female friend, he knows its not my thing and they both enjoy it. Nothing untoward at all. Let them enjoy the gig your paranoia won't be helped on here.

I wonder how people would manage in a same sex/bi-sexual relationship if they wouldn't let their partner be friends with people from the sex they are attracted to.
I think YABU.

It wouldn’t bother me at all.
I’ve been to a gig with a colleague that I don’t otherwise socialise with, and I’ve also been to a gig with a friends husband. Both times it was just a shared love of the band and keeping each other company rather than go alone. Though I’ve also gone to a few gigs alone too.

My husband went to a football match with a woman at work because he had a spare ticket and she was a fan of the same team.

They are married now! I'd never had any worries about him cheating and trusted him totally.

So this is something that blows my mind.

I’m bi-sexual. Am I not allowed to have any friends at all?

And where do you meet friends? Most of my friends are colleagues and ex-colleagues, building on things we have in common from outside work. Because surely that’s how people meet?

If your husband has given you no cause for concern and there’s been transparency, then I don’t really see what the problem is.