Hi here’s a bit of background details. I went to Croatia with my four month old DD so she could meet my MIL. She already has three other grandkid’s from her daughter who stays locally. I understand she was excited to meet my DD but she wouldn’t give me my DD even when she had outstretched arms and was crying for me. MIL would make me sit in the front seat of the car and she would sit behind with DD (DH would drive). Again even though my DD would cry, MIL wanted to see that DD should smile seeing her! My DH just said it’s only 10 days that his mom will see her so she can cry and then I will get her back! For the record, my MIL and I don’t speak the same language.
It’s been four months since this family holiday and I feel so upset at myself for not standing up for my DD. I’m also so worried that DDs birthday is around the corner and MIL will again try to do something like that. What’s worst is my DH won’t say anything.
My parents are first time grandparents and as excited as they are, they never try to keep my DD away from me when she cries for me so I don’t think my MIL is acting normally. They too stay abroad and don’t get to meet her regularly so the self entitlement of my MIL to hold her all the time doesn’t make sense. Even my parents don’t meet DD so often. Is my MIL going overboard? She was getting upset and taking DD away if she even smiled at MIL’s dad! Basically it felt like she was competing for my DDs love! Really come on MIL, don’t take it personally if she won’t smile at you especially if you won’t give her back to me when she’s visibly crying.
How do I stop this from happening next time? I tried to use BF and nappy change as an excuse but she would be taken from me right after. I sat behind in the car with my DD and my MIL looked all upset for me stealing away those moments from her. I honestly want to tell her to back off and that she can hold DD but not every minute of the day especially when she’s crying out for me. Besides, she wasn’t even interacting with DD, just shushing her!
If I’d even take my DD and she’s turn quiet and happy my MIL would take her away the next second. Stop your silly competition MIL!
MIL you’ve had your turn in raising kids and you have local grandkid’s. You are just my MIL. Stop hogging my baby for every second you visit us, just because you get to meet her so little doesn’t mean you hold onto her even when she is desperately crying for me! Am I being unreasonable?
PS Don’t tell me DH should speak. He has never stood up for me to the point that his sisters family are racist towards me and he’s quiet. I have cut my SIL from my life since DH won’t speak up and no, leaving him isn’t an option.
Also, meeting up oftener is not an option. Not after how she is behaving. The audacity of my MIL to do this. And my DH never standing up to my racist SIL means I want to have very reduced contact with them and I don’t think any grandparent is entitled to their grandkid if they can’t respect their grandkid’s needs i.e. outstretched arms wanting mummy.