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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is in the wrong?

59 replies

Needmoresleep89 · 08/05/2024 20:25

DP and I have had an argument this evening and we can’t agree who is in the wrong, so we’ve decided to ask on here. Won’t say who is who for hopefully unbiased opinions!

Person A is stood on their phone, Person B walks past and flicks the phone up towards A. A gets angry and shouts that it’s unacceptable and sits down on the sofa. B comes and sites astride A, laughing and flicks the phone again. A lashes out and hits B on the shoulder.

A feels they are in the right as B has done the phone flicking thing lots of times before, though not regularly. A has expressed how much it annoys them and on occasion has dropped the phone. A feels their reaction lashing out was understandable as they felt trapped under B, B was laughing and did the thing that originally caused the argument again.

B feels that A is overreacting, that it was just a bit of fun and that they came to sit on A to lighten the mood. B thinks that laughing and doing it again shows it was meant to be playful, and that A reacting in the way they did is unacceptable.

Who is in the wrong?

OP posts:
Irishmama100 · 08/05/2024 23:07

B is being a ballocks

WarshipRocinante · 08/05/2024 23:09

B sounds like a childish pain in the arse.

*I didn’t read all the posts and assumed the OP was B. Now I see they are A. Sorry OP!

JuiceBoxJuggler · 08/05/2024 23:09

HappiestSleeping · 08/05/2024 20:41

My guess is that the OP is B and we will never hear again.

This.

HeddaGarbled · 08/05/2024 23:13

SD1978 · Today 21:58
Whether B was being an arse (he was) and it was pretty on out from the outset A was the poster and a women, the number of people minimising domestic violence (pretty much everyone) and blaming B for being hit astounds me. OP lost any validity when she hit him. If a woman posted she'd been needling her partner with something she thought was funny and he belted her, would you be telling her she deserved it? I doubt it and the thread would be full of LTB and report the assault

But that’s not what happened. He was using his superior strength and body weight to physically pin her to the sofa and prevent her from having a conversation on her phone. She was acting in self-defence. She did not assault him. He assaulted her and then when she attempted to defend herself he accused her of domestic violence. He’s a gaslighting bully and you’re naive.

HappiestSleeping · 08/05/2024 23:14

JuiceBoxJuggler · 08/05/2024 23:09

This.

I was, in fact, incorrect. The OP was A and did indeed update the thread.

AtrociousCircumstance · 08/05/2024 23:17

@Needmoresleep89 Your partner was physically overpowering you and persisting in doing something you hate (and flicking your phone is a physical act). He was in the wrong. Have you shown him this thread? He needs to stop - and accusing you of domestic violence is DARVO. I think he’s dangerous.

JuiceBoxJuggler · 08/05/2024 23:20

HappiestSleeping · 08/05/2024 23:14

I was, in fact, incorrect. The OP was A and did indeed update the thread.

Damn, I missed that! Happy to be wrong.

LightSpeeds · 08/05/2024 23:37

Your partner sounds like an annoying prick!

Daisybuttercup12345 · 09/05/2024 00:01

B needs to grow tfu. Twat.

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