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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I Report Him to his Employer?

61 replies

WinterLilly · 08/05/2024 18:40

I was in a hospital car park earlier today and circling around trying to find a free space. It was a one way traffic system. A car came in the opposite direction (the wrong way) and literally refused to either reverse or move to the side to allow me to pass. If I had attempted to squeeze past I would of ended up scraping paint work off both our cars. I had zero room on my side but he had room to move on his side but point black refused. It was like a Mexican stand off that lasted at least 5 minutes but felt like an eternity in reality. A security gaurd noticed what was going on and tapped on his window to tell him he had to move to the side more and he completely lost it. He started shouting out the window the most obscene expletives at me...'stupid f*king woman this...'ugly Ct' that. He was red with anger. It's like he could not handle been told to move for a woman (he was a white British male btw. I'm just stating that to avoid going down any rabbit holes). The security gaurd had to tell him to calm down and that there was not absolutely no need for it. His reaction was completely disproportionate to the event especially as he was the one that had come in the wrong direction of travel!! I was shaken but as I parked up I reasoned with myself maybe he has somebody in hospital and got bad news. How wrong I was! I went to the parking meter and noticed that the same angry man was fixing the parking machine! When he saw me he again started shouting that I am stupid C*T and I should go and 'do one' . I turned on my heels as I was so scared. I am so tempted to inform his employer of his actions? I really felt he behaved like that towards me just because I am a woman and felt that he therefore could. Am I being AIBU wanting to report him or should I just let it go?

OP posts:
CadyEastman · 08/05/2024 18:42

How do you know who he works for?

kayteeep · 08/05/2024 18:43

100% report him, what horrific behaviour! I would have been same and maybe given benefit of doubt that maybe he had some bad news, family in hospital etc but clearly not so absolutely no excuse at all.
Imagine if you had had really bad news today and then that happened :-(

Danioyellow · 08/05/2024 18:44

CadyEastman · 08/05/2024 18:42

How do you know who he works for?

Probably the company on his van or uniform? Or I imagine it wouldn’t be hard to find out who’s responsible for the repairs

BIWI · 08/05/2024 18:44

To whom would you report him?

kayteeep · 08/05/2024 18:44

CadyEastman · 08/05/2024 18:42

How do you know who he works for?

Presumably she can report to the hospital and they will know which company they have contracted to fix the machines

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 08/05/2024 18:45

I'd report absolutely. The car park was his place of work so report him to the hospital if you don't know who they contract to.

Hoppinggreen · 08/05/2024 18:45

Of course you should report him. Speak to the hospital and go from there

UnderGreenGrass · 08/05/2024 18:46

Absolutely report him. That kind of behaviour is totally unacceptable. Sorry that happened to you. That level of aggression is awful. Imagine being in a relationship with someone like that.

kayteeep · 08/05/2024 18:46

Or maybe there would be a company name on the machine that he was fixing, or a label saying 'if any issues call this number' type thing
Although I don't think who to report to is the main question, it's more whether to report at all

Tel12 · 08/05/2024 18:47

Yes, definitely report him.

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 18:48

He sounds like a complete arsehole but what does that have to do with his employer?

Mabelface · 08/05/2024 18:52

Yes, report him as he was at work and representing the company he works for.

Danioyellow · 08/05/2024 18:53

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 18:48

He sounds like a complete arsehole but what does that have to do with his employer?

Do you need it spelling out to you? He might not have physically touched the op, but what he did is classed as a crime, and against a woman in the grounds of a hospital of all people/places. And he was doing it whilst on the clock for his company. I’d be sacked for gross misconduct if that was my company.

PossumintheHouse · 08/05/2024 18:54

Absolutely report, that's totally unacceptable. It's particularly disgusting as he doesn't know why you are visiting the hospital, but it's fair to assume you weren't there for a jolly old time. You could easily already have been vulnerable or distressed before sex even comes into it.
Speak to the hospital and give them all of the details of the incident, and make sure to point out that the security guard can corroborate.

ownedbymydog · 08/05/2024 18:55

Yes, definitely report. Did you see the papers yesterday reporting the conviction of that godawful road rage man? (Yet to be sentenced.) I expect there’s cctv in the car park, and you have a witness. Sounds like threatening and intimidatory behaviour, which I believe is a criminal offence. At the very least, he’s in the wrong bloody job!

itsgettingweird · 08/05/2024 18:56

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 18:48

He sounds like a complete arsehole but what does that have to do with his employer?

Hardly rocket science to work out.

He's representing his company whilst employed by them.

Kids can get punished in school for their actions whilst in uniform even if outside of it.

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 18:56

Danioyellow · 08/05/2024 18:53

Do you need it spelling out to you? He might not have physically touched the op, but what he did is classed as a crime, and against a woman in the grounds of a hospital of all people/places. And he was doing it whilst on the clock for his company. I’d be sacked for gross misconduct if that was my company.

How do you or OP know it was on company time?
You have an offensive tone, would you like your employer informed?

LlynTegid · 08/05/2024 18:57

I would support you in going to the police about his behaviour.

BobbyBiscuits · 08/05/2024 18:57

I would definitely report him. The security man was a witness to it as well. Do you know the name of his employer? I guess you should speak to the manager of the carpark, is it a separate company to the hospital?
He should no way be behaving like that when he's at work!

PonyPatter44 · 08/05/2024 18:58

I'd absolutely report him. I'm sick to death of nasty abusive men behaving like this in public places. You have the opportunity to challengehis behaviour, in a way that doesn't pose a risk to you, so please do report him.

If you walk around representing your employer, you have to maintain a certain standard of behaviour. He didn't and it reflects badly on that employer.

Randomlygeneratedname · 08/05/2024 18:59

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 18:56

How do you or OP know it was on company time?
You have an offensive tone, would you like your employer informed?

OP said he shouted stupid cunt to her whilst he was fixing the machine. Assuming he doesn't do this out of the kindness of his heart, he was on the clock at this point and should absolutely be reported.

XMissPlacedX · 08/05/2024 19:00

Of course you report him, he needs to know that he can't go around screaming and frightening people like that. Plus you have the security guard to back you up.

SauvignonBlanche · 08/05/2024 19:03

Definitely report, the hospital will know who he’s employed by and would get in touch with the company.

I’m sure both the hospital and the contractor would want to know.

LMMuffet · 08/05/2024 19:04

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 18:48

He sounds like a complete arsehole but what does that have to do with his employer?

Because he did it while at work. For his employer.

plasq · 08/05/2024 19:13

Contact hospital security team. Let them know location, time and description of him and his vehicle. Tell them car park attendant intervened. Ask them to investigate as you believe he was a member of staff.

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