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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I Report Him to his Employer?

61 replies

WinterLilly · 08/05/2024 18:40

I was in a hospital car park earlier today and circling around trying to find a free space. It was a one way traffic system. A car came in the opposite direction (the wrong way) and literally refused to either reverse or move to the side to allow me to pass. If I had attempted to squeeze past I would of ended up scraping paint work off both our cars. I had zero room on my side but he had room to move on his side but point black refused. It was like a Mexican stand off that lasted at least 5 minutes but felt like an eternity in reality. A security gaurd noticed what was going on and tapped on his window to tell him he had to move to the side more and he completely lost it. He started shouting out the window the most obscene expletives at me...'stupid f*king woman this...'ugly Ct' that. He was red with anger. It's like he could not handle been told to move for a woman (he was a white British male btw. I'm just stating that to avoid going down any rabbit holes). The security gaurd had to tell him to calm down and that there was not absolutely no need for it. His reaction was completely disproportionate to the event especially as he was the one that had come in the wrong direction of travel!! I was shaken but as I parked up I reasoned with myself maybe he has somebody in hospital and got bad news. How wrong I was! I went to the parking meter and noticed that the same angry man was fixing the parking machine! When he saw me he again started shouting that I am stupid C*T and I should go and 'do one' . I turned on my heels as I was so scared. I am so tempted to inform his employer of his actions? I really felt he behaved like that towards me just because I am a woman and felt that he therefore could. Am I being AIBU wanting to report him or should I just let it go?

OP posts:
Duckswaddle · 08/05/2024 19:17

Definitely report to the hospital, what a horrible situation. If he doesn’t work directly for the hospital they will know the contractor they do use.

ZebraZone · 08/05/2024 19:21

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 18:56

How do you or OP know it was on company time?
You have an offensive tone, would you like your employer informed?

Are you for real? Comparing a man being verbally abusive to a woman in person while carrying out his job and someone online sounding a bit exasperated.

FredsRoses · 08/05/2024 19:24

Yes, definitely report him OP! Even if he is working on machines I would imagine that to some extent his job is based on being able to communicate with others, and speaking to ANYONE like that is TOTALLY out of order, so he should definitely be reprimanded for letting the company down if nothing else.

Nanny0gg · 08/05/2024 19:24

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 18:48

He sounds like a complete arsehole but what does that have to do with his employer?

He was there in a working capacity! You don't think that's something to do with his company?

Nanny0gg · 08/05/2024 19:26

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 18:56

How do you or OP know it was on company time?
You have an offensive tone, would you like your employer informed?

Seriously?

She saw him repairing the machine! Bit of a clue...

WinterLilly · 08/05/2024 19:26

BobbyBiscuits · 08/05/2024 18:57

I would definitely report him. The security man was a witness to it as well. Do you know the name of his employer? I guess you should speak to the manager of the carpark, is it a separate company to the hospital?
He should no way be behaving like that when he's at work!

The security gaurd came to find me in the car park to see how I was. He told me that he was a contractor who came to fix the ticket machine and he gave me the number of his employer (not NHS).

OP posts:
kirbykirby · 08/05/2024 19:27

He sounds like a complete idiot but absolutely no reason for you to mention his race or nationality (how could you have known that?) and sounds a bit racist.

labracadabras · 08/05/2024 19:28

yes report plus all the details

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/05/2024 19:36

kirbykirby · 08/05/2024 19:27

He sounds like a complete idiot but absolutely no reason for you to mention his race or nationality (how could you have known that?) and sounds a bit racist.

What?

(he was a white British male btw. I'm just stating that to avoid going down any rabbit holes)

People post that because they're hoping it eliminates the majority of 'Was it cultural?' and other shit that racists tend to post where it's not specified on threads. Doesn't stop them then accusing the OP of being a teensy bit racist for preventing their racist assumptions being made and posted on some threads, though.

WinterLilly · 08/05/2024 19:43

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/05/2024 19:36

What?

(he was a white British male btw. I'm just stating that to avoid going down any rabbit holes)

People post that because they're hoping it eliminates the majority of 'Was it cultural?' and other shit that racists tend to post where it's not specified on threads. Doesn't stop them then accusing the OP of being a teensy bit racist for preventing their racist assumptions being made and posted on some threads, though.

Exactly, that's where I was coming from!! I only stated that to avoid any presumptions that it may be cultural and to avoid any racial connotations that could potentially arise.

OP posts:
WinterLilly · 08/05/2024 19:49

LlynTegid · 08/05/2024 18:57

I would support you in going to the police about his behaviour.

Really? Would they take it seriously? I honestly felt like this guy HATES women. Obviously assuming here but I was thinking I really hope he doesn't live with a woman as I can just imagine how he speaks/treats her.

OP posts:
SalmonAndHorseradish · 08/05/2024 19:54

Just this week in the news a man has been found guilty of a road rage incident in which he effed and blinded at a woman, very similar to what you experienced. He has been told he faces jail. Definitely report it, at the very least to his employer but preferably to the police.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/article/2024/may/06/bournemouth-road-rage-incident-guilty

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 19:56

ZebraZone · 08/05/2024 19:21

Are you for real? Comparing a man being verbally abusive to a woman in person while carrying out his job and someone online sounding a bit exasperated.

If you can’t take it don’t dish it out!

PossumintheHouse · 08/05/2024 19:57

WinterLilly · 08/05/2024 19:26

The security gaurd came to find me in the car park to see how I was. He told me that he was a contractor who came to fix the ticket machine and he gave me the number of his employer (not NHS).

Report to his direct employer and the NHS. They'll investigate the complaint independently and will likely report back to his employer themselves.

Danioyellow · 08/05/2024 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MartinsSpareCalculator · 08/05/2024 20:11

He sounds like a prick. But the liklihood of anything coming of a complaint is very slim. There's no video of it. Nobody is likely to review CCTV as there'll be similar minor incidents happening every day. At best the security guard would give a statement but even the liklihood of that would be fairly slim.

And you'd never actually know the outcome.

PossumintheHouse · 08/05/2024 20:21

MartinsSpareCalculator · 08/05/2024 20:11

He sounds like a prick. But the liklihood of anything coming of a complaint is very slim. There's no video of it. Nobody is likely to review CCTV as there'll be similar minor incidents happening every day. At best the security guard would give a statement but even the liklihood of that would be fairly slim.

And you'd never actually know the outcome.

It doesn't sound that minor, to be fair. And the security guard is a strong and credible witness. I think it would be taken seriously.

anon4net · 08/05/2024 20:24

Absolutely report to employer at the very least.

MagentaRocks · 08/05/2024 20:28

WinterLilly · 08/05/2024 19:49

Really? Would they take it seriously? I honestly felt like this guy HATES women. Obviously assuming here but I was thinking I really hope he doesn't live with a woman as I can just imagine how he speaks/treats her.

He has committed a public order offence, so yes you can absolutely report to police.

HangryOliveMentor · 08/05/2024 20:33

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 19:56

If you can’t take it don’t dish it out!

Why are you posting so many stupid comments on this thread? Very odd behaviour.

Irridescantshimmmer · 08/05/2024 20:39

Yes report him, he's as thick as dog pooh with less brains and his actions caused unreasonable alarm and distress.

There was no way you would have known what he was capable of, he should have had the balls to apologise and didn't.

Danioyellow · 08/05/2024 21:45

Jesus Christ. I’ve been racially abused, sworn at and called a cunt on this site. But I say someone’s acting dense and my comment gets deleted 😂

LakeTiticaca · 08/05/2024 22:05

HospitalStayNHS · 08/05/2024 18:48

He sounds like a complete arsehole but what does that have to do with his employer?

It has everything to do with his employer if he is in unform and actually in working hours. The company will have a professional reputation to protect. Why would they want employees who behave like that?

PrestonHood121 · 08/05/2024 22:20

Yes, do it.

navigatingmy20s · 08/05/2024 22:26

@HospitalStayNHS Be honest now, you are the man in question aren't you? Grin

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