What was the state of your house on mat leave???

[Mummmmmmmmmmmmmmmy]

I have a very active 1 year old. She so strong and moves fast. She needs to be watched 24/7.
I’m on maternity leave (finishing soon) and he is disappointed that I don’t manage to keep the house clean and tidy.
I also wish I could keep it in better order. But I’m cooking her meals, changing, and caring for her and I just really struggle.
I just want to know if other mums have lovely clean tidy homes (and if so how) or if everyone struggles and I’m not the only one.

YABU- it’s easy to keep house nice with toddler.
YANBU- it’s impossible, mine was a shit show also.

It was clean and tidy like it always is. I couldn’t live in a mess and nothing is an excuse enough for me to let things slip.

If he's that bothered he can clean and tidy himself, are his arms broken?

I am sure he would rather you parent your child and spend quality time investing in their development instead of sticking them in front of the screen while you clean and tidy

If he's not happy, he can hire a cleaner or help out himself.

Ps. It's called maternity leave not cleaning leave ffs

This. But I had a very different temperament of child, who was happy to sit and play with his toys for hours on end. Or when he was smaller, sit in his bouncer and watch the world go by. It definitely makes a difference.

It's hard to keep on top of all the house work. My house used to be immaculate before my DS was born. My standards have definitely slipped!
I'm on MAT leave too & I try & do a little bit each day, while baby is asleep.
I prioritise kitchen & bathrooms.
I get my other half to take the baby out for a long walk on Saturday mornings so I can crack on with hoovering & mopping floors, which I find completely impossible to do with a baby in the house, even if he's napping the noise wakes him up.
It's unrealistic to have a perfectly clean home everyday when looking after a baby takes up so much of our time, especially if you're knackered!
I'd love to be able to afford a cleaner.

I don't know what it is with British men and their obsession with getting women to clean up after them, it's very odd.

Anyway, the leave is to look after your child, thats your job - the child.

Same, but I’m an extremely organised person. I clean as I go and I try not to create a mess and/or extra work for myself for the most part. Everything has a place and if something needs to be done…I just do it. I don’t “do things later”. I appreciate that’s how I work though and others don’t work that way.

Variable. Early days a bit of state as l couldn’t move much after very swollen legs / feet after a twin pregnancy and pain from c section. Plus l had twins. Ironically it was at its worse when my husband was also so on paternity leave

But it’s maternity leave, not cleaning leave or tidy the house the way my husband likes it leave

It's hard to know when definitions of clean and tidy are so different.
Toys on the floor, cushions pulled off sofa are part and parcel of having a toddler and are not untidy.

It doesn’t hurt children to entertain themselves for small periods while you get jobs done.

I had help from my parents TBH. They were retired and popped over a couple of times a week. My MIL helped too. And my DH is a tidy freak so I'm quite sure that he was shoving stuff away as soon as he got in the house . It's a long time ago now but I did struggle - as a newborn my son didn't feed well and had colic so I spent all my time walking round with him . Went back to work at 6 months (plus AL) as was the norm then .

I struggled to clean because my DD was an awful sleeper till about 14 months, and by then my mat leave was over. I was an absolute zombie in the daytime. I don't remember if my partner complained. Tbh he might have but I was so stressed with lack of sleep that I wouldn't have noticed!

Best it’s ever been tbh. Mine were good nappers and I used the couple of hours a day to get it sorted out every day rather than having to squeeze jobs into the evenings when at work

A mix really. Some days I managed everything and others nothing. Some days somewhere between the 2.

But whatever state the house was in, sh would come home and muck in, without comment, because working was easier than being at home in our opinion!

Exactly. Your top priority is your little one and yourself. Yes, of course keeping the house safe and sanitary is important for babies, but if something has to give, the tidying can wait.

I’m on mat leave, house is usually messy unfortunately.

My DH is WFH, it would prob be worse if he didn’t, my parents come over when it gets bad to mind baby while I clean.

We also have a 5 year old, keeping us fed, clean and entertained (having fun!) is our priority, if DH wants a clean house then he should do it before work maybe?

It's tidiest in the evening once the 4yo is in bed because DH clears up while I feed the baby (or vice versa). Same as when I am at work.

With my first, during those newborn days DH did all the cleaning and washing until I had found my feet with everything. Then I slowly started increasing what I did. I never clean or tidy for more than 20 minutes a day, but our house is always very clean.

Does your one year old not nap? I would pop mine in the wrap to do jobs when they were little, also once the house was immaculate, we would go out for the day! So they can’t make a mess!

There is a difference between untidy and unclean. Mine got untidy, toys out, washing took longer to put away etc. We still had clean clothes and dishes but it certainly wasn’t show home. I had a robot hoover with my second which did the hoovering when we were out. I just picked up anything on the floor (toys etc) and chucked it on the sofa or bed and left the hoover to it. Then 10 minutes of putting things away made a real difference.

I did heaps of cleaning but I was desperate to feel useful and husband has OCD. So it wasn't negotiable. A clothes wash, drying, putting away. Fill and empty dishwasher. Clean toilets. Wipe kitchen surfaces. That was daily. Every other day we hoovered and washed the floors.

I should prob add that my baby is Velcro and only stays down long enough to shower/eat. We are out most days but he doesn’t sleep long at home.

I was the same with my first, DH would come home from work and I’d chuck the baby at him to clean/cook.

All of that with a DH who does housework too (a bit less than me at the moment 30:70 as I’m on mat, but he entertains DC while do housework).

No different than it normally is, which is not particularly tidy. My maternity leave was largely about providing childcare and doing some household tasks that needed to be done during the day (like the food shopping or purchasing an item that needed purchasing before the shop closes before the end of the workday). We did housework when we were both home in the evenings/weekends. So it was no one's responsibility to do all the work of sorting out the house. If it was untidy, it was because neither of us was doing our bit.

Has he had time off in sole car of your baby all day? I mean, without you around or without drafting in MIL or SIL to visit for the day and help out. Has he done it for a week straight and not just as a one-off? Did he manage to keep the house tidy then?

I would recommend going away for the weekend and coming back and being disappointed that the house isn't clean and tidy.

You should also agree the joint cleaning rota now for when you go back to work. Don't let him think this is your job.