To labour in my nightdress

[Coolsummer25]

I’m due a baby girl late July. I’m a very private person so would like to labour in a nightdress and with my knickers on. Dh thinks I’m being ridiculous and says he’s never heard of woman doing labour this way and that I will be too hot etc.

Yep totally fine. I bought a big nightie with Marie from the aristocats on, in a few sizes bigger than I normally wear so it wasn't tight and wore that all through labour/the birth.

I'm normally very private, but during labour I turned into this creature with absolutely no shame or body issues whatsoever and ended up flinging everything off. Nobody batted an eyelid.

OP, you can wear (or not wear) anything you feel comfortable in.

From my experience you will find how you feel comfortable as things progress. I personally like a very very over sized cotton nightie and initially wearing underwear, however both ended up removed. My most enjoyable labour happened in only a bra on the floor. Your labour is your experience.

You are not being unreasonable and I was worried about the same thing. Keep your knickers on. The time will come I promise you, where you literally won't care but plan to do what makes you most comfy. I was really anxious about labour and again a very private person. I promise you the midwives will be fine with it and will try and make you as comfy as they can. Best of luck x

What's he talking about, you can't have a catheter in while trying to push a baby out! It may not be the same hole but it's damn close! Sorry but you really need to stop listening to your DH, he clearly has NO understanding of the birth process (or female anatomy).

Do I think keeping pants on until crowning is realistic?

Probably not.

But you know what, we all have potentially unrealistic plans sometimes, and this isn't one you have to commit to, but you can change your mind in an instant if needed.

So if I were you, I'd hope to keep them off, but plan for 'not'. So take lots of pairs on cases they get covered in bodily fluids, but also wear a very long nightie that totally covers you anyway, and they you just see how it goes!

For reference, 2 children but ELCS, so no labour. However I'm normally very private, so imagine my surprise when I really didn't care less. I was happily whipping off the sheets so they could check on my scar and my pads (no pants), without a care at the world. This being the woman who wouldn't even go to a swimming pool without a sarong to hide my thighs 😂

Your DH is being a twit to tell you what you can or can't wear during labour.

In all honestly you won't wear your knickers for long. You will be checked for progress, you may need a fetal monitor attaching, your waters may break... it all gets a bit much taking knickers off and on.

WTF is he on about? Seriously!

Why is he getting involved with the detail of YOUR labour, especially as he clearly has no idea what he's talking about?!

He wants you to have a catheter? He has absolutely no clue what he’s on about and you need to make it very clear to him that it is NOT his job to make any decisions at all about your labour, it is his job to support you though labour.

He sounds like a prize prick tbh.

I thought if you have an epidural you also have a catheter in as standard? So it must be possible to push the baby with a catheter in?

That being said I don't think you can or would want to request one just for the sake of it! It's an invasive procedure that carries risks.

The point of the presence of the father at the birth is to be a help and comfort to the mother as a trusted birth partner. Not to wave his bloody stupid uninformed opinions around.

Every woman is different and you should do whatever you, in consultation with your midwife, think is safest and most comfortable and if he disagrees, that's his problem (putting it politely) and it should be no concern of yours.

I'm usually very chilled but I did point out to DH early on in the pregnancy that he had no rights to be at the birth and if he pissed me off during labour I would kick him out of the room. He needs to catch himself on that being there for you is a privilege, but you are running the show (and your midwife and any medics are there to support and keep you safe)

FWIW I laboured clothed both times, didn't have examinations (arrived too late at hospital DC1, Homebirth DC2) and DC2 was born astonishingly near to a toilet, with no ill effect

When he has a baby he can decide what he wears!

I gave birth with trousers on! They were round my ankles when DC popped out!

I wore a big t shirt/ nightie, but once I started pushing, I whipped it off as I was so hot (it was January!)

I can't remember what I wore for my first 15 years ago, but my middle daughter I just wore a vest top and was covered with a sheet. My youngest born in the August heatwave and I laboured in the maxi dress I was wearing when my waters went! That was a fast labour

I think a nightdress will be fine and just cover your bottom half with a sheet, they're thin.

Your DH doesn't get to decide what you wear, ever. Especially not for giving birth. You can always take it off if you get hot. I found I lost all my inhibitions and laboured naked - not something I'd planned on necessarily! But he doesn't decide anything about what you do in labour. He needs to learn this.

He’s being ridiculous, I work in healthcare and 99% of women keep a top on and most appreciate having their bottom half’s covered even if just with a sheet (e.g if epidural and catheter in etc) most keep clothes/nightie and knickers on until pushing unless in birthing pool. Maintaining a woman’s dignity is a key part of the job. I would be very unimpressed by why student who didn’t do this e.g. highlighted involuntary bowel movements or even invited birthing partners to look. Equally I would be very unimpressed by a partner who talked about his partner in an unflattering way after. I hate hearing the saying that you leave your dignity at the door when you had children or even once when working in a nursing home, heard staff saying they couldn’t understand a woman being ‘shy about intimate care’ as she’d had 3 children, such attitudes are awful.
I had long dress on with all mine and the only knickers came off literally as baby’s head coming out and made it clear still wanted covering as much as possible

Goodness. For someone who's NOT about to push a small human out of his vagina, he sure has a lot of opinions.

If he's like this about your labour 'outfit', imagine what he'll be like about how to feed your baby/sleep training/weaning/childcare/school etc etc

Ok OP sorry if you are real but I now I think this post is a wind up.

You simply CANNOT be married to someone that stupid. It's not possible. You'd have left him in sheer frustration long ago.

Midwife here-wear knickers if you prefer, we honestly wouldn’t want you to put our convenience over your own comfort 😊 although I agree with a pp, keeping knickers clean and dry will be a mammoth task once your waters break! Maybe buy a long nighty which will keep you covered in case you decide to take the knicks off during labour, then you’ll still feel covered. I always make an effort to cover women up with a sheet too :)
also your husband will have zero say in whether you have a catheter or not. We would only recommend one if clinically indicated.

JFC, fathers were invited into the birthing process to support their partner and help them bond with their baby. Now they're telling us what to wear when giving birth. 😡

It doesn't really what he thinks though does it, its your call. I wore a nightdress for all of my deliveries, started off with pants on, not sure at what stage they came off.

Unless you are giving birth on a tv soap opera. Unlikely, but you never know…….

Honestly I reckon the knickers will be a pain unless you don't want them to check how far along you are etc but the nightdress totally fine! Get the ones with poppers and have a spare in case it gets covered in your waters and you want to swap and maybe a third for after?

I had all 3 of mine in a nightie. But my pants came off the second the waters were broken! I preferred their big throwaway ones - pants I mean, as my waters continued for a while and I used their pads. Second having two nighties in case

The OPS DP hasn't said she can't wear anything or should wear anything.

He just said what he thought might be best.

And he might be wrong but so might OP be.

They're both thinking about what might happen or be best.

He isn't a c* for having some thoughts or opinions like many posters seem to be judging him as.

If he was forcing it on OP he may be but he's not, he's just saying what he thinks might be helpful. Doesn't make him an asshole 🙄