My husband has got the grouting done.

[Hiker50]

My husband has got the grouting done. Earlier he finished rubbing down the paintwork.
Does anyone else’s husband seek them out to tell you what they’ve done?
He did something in the garden yesterday I didn’t listen to what he said and I’ve just had to lie and say yes I do think it looks better.

If I don’t tell him everything I’m doing around the house and garden does that mean I haven’t done anything?
Like a tree falling in the middle of a forest.
I do love him. He’s so funny.

It's a tough one because when people do this it's often a bid for connection, but a boring one!

Being condescending or dismissive is usually not best approach, shutting down these attempts to connect is what kills relationships. But then smiling and nodding is dishonest and doesn't stop the guy being dull...

Door lock update!!!
I have now had the superbness of the fix demonstrated to me. I suspect he was laying in wait pretending to make coffee until I was heading out with the washing. There was no escape.
I'm not sure I kept an entirely straight face.

Today my male workmate hoovered and mopped the little kitchenette while I was on my coffee break. The lecture he gave on mop types was both educational and thorough. It saved me from wasting my time on mumsnet.

I think there is a slight difference between telling someone you've done the grouting or rubbed down some paintwork and telling someone you've Hoovered the front room or done some laundry. The former things relate to actual permanent changes to the house, so I think I'd tell DP if I'd done something like that too. But I wouldn't tell him I'd, say, done a bit of dusting or cleaned the bath.

That said, I think the division of labour in our house is fairly even, so I don't think there's ever that annoying feeling that one of is acting like they deserve a medal for doing one thing when the other person's done everything else that week.

I do this for some things, too, particularly if it's not an 'everyday' chore. DH and I give one another a brief daily account of what we did, as well. I'd find it annoying if it was clear that someone was telling me in a passive aggressive way, to indicate that they did something they thought I should have done. Otherwise, doesn't bother me.

I also feel very sorry for myself and miserable when I have a cold or other minor illness, so I guess I get 'man flu', too.

@KreedKafer Oh ok.

I cured this by announcing every single thing I completed and demanded a response. I also texted him every completed task as I did it when he was at work.
“I emptied the dishwasher!”
”I scrubbed the sink!”
”I made soup!”
”Guess what? The backsplash is sparkling!”
”I have washed a load of darks AND put them in the dryer!”
”We have lovely clean sheets”
”My god there were a lot of dead flies on the windowsill…. They’re all vacuumed up now!”
”The rubbish is out.”
”I replaced the bin bag!”
”I’ve just written a shopping list!”
”I’m off to the supermarket!”
“The shopping’s in the car and I’m getting petrol on the way home!”
”I took the shopping in. There were NINE BAGS!!!!”
”The shopping’s put away! Phew! I really hate separating the chicken breasts and wrapping them all in cling wrap before freezing them!”
”The next load’s finished and the dry washing is folded!”
“I’ve sorted it all and put it on everyone’s bed!”

Took two days before he lost his shit. I pointed out how sulky he was when I asked if he wanted a medal for unloading the dish rack and drying a couple of wine glasses on the weekend, so I thought that this was something we did now.

I tell DH when I do bjgger job (not usual chore) and so does he tell me. I made him come and see groutin a bathroom when I finished😶 Or repaired garden gate. I thought everyone did that.

We totally don't say "I mopped" etc unless it's letting the other know that they don't need to do it be a it's done.

@utilitarianism fellow "man flu" woman. There were studies which showed men and some women may really suffer worse with colds etc. I llok ok, may sound ok but am fucking dying every time I get cold. Which is like once a year for few days.

Give him a pat on the head and tell him he's a good boy. Offer him a biscuit if you're feeling generous.