Fantasising about other men - normal?

[Peraly]

I'm 29 and been with DP for 6 years - no children but we own a house together.
I've always been a fantasiser, even pre-DP, in terms of making up scenarios in my head that would never happen but make me feel some thrill/excitement.

However, some times these fantasies feel more intense than others. DP works away so I don't know if there's a link as they are often at their strongest when DP is away.
The fantasises include men I have met in real life and sometimes "imaginary" men but it's almost like in my head I've created a story of them.

At the moment, it involves DP's friend but I'd never ever act on it, in fact I hardly ever even see this friend which makes it incredibly random. But my head is creating this "story" of me having an affair and having makeshift conversations in my head etc.
Like I said, the only reason I can think of having these fantasies is because it gives my brain "excitement" when DP is away but they just feel so intense to the point I'll be watching TV but still imagining these scenarios.

Is this normal?? As I'm currently feeling really guilty

Just to add I absolutely adore DP and id never have an affair

I don't think it's entirely normal but there's probably reasons that explain it. There's probably something missing in your relationship. In your case it might be that he's working away and you're bored or missing the intimacy. In my case it was because I was bored with the day to day stuff with children and housework and I found myself daydreaming constantly about a Hollywood actor. Things have improved now. I still have my celebrity crush but I'd never go on and cheat with a real life guy or feel the urge to. I'm not sure what the answer is but maybe next time you're fantasising about his mate, try and shut it down and think something sexy about your husband and when he's at home, really work on your connection to each other.

I think a LOT of people do this and usually about celebs. I've never done it featuring a real life person though. I wouldn't feel guilty, I'd just shift it to some celeb or other and enjoy the creativity.
Yes it's a feature of being bored or whatever but it's better than worrying so in that sense it's quite protective, I feel.

I think it’s normal

Sounds like a form of relationship ocd. Entirely not your fault and very treatable by ignoring the fantasies and not over thinking them. You can't help what your brain conjures up sorry Op! I used to suffer with this sort of thing and was diagnosed with ADHD in the end as an adult, much much better now.

I hope not. I usually struggle with this following dreams about people. I’m very thankful that my latest is a chap I haven’t seen for 25 years…so I’m fantasising about being a teen…long before I met my fab DH. Doesn’t mean I don’t fancy DH, it’s just a daydream.

I think it's totally normal. The idea that if you are truly in love with someone you wouldn't lust after/fantasise about other people is really damaging IMO, because it leads people to question their relationship when they do it, when really their relationship is absolutely fine, and things unravel from there. Some people even bring those fantasies into their sex life with their partner although I appreciate that isn't for everyone.

We are all entitled to our realm of erotic autonomy that is ours and ours alone. Fantasies are a good outlet actually, and therefore I really wouldn't worry, unless these fantasies start to get in the way of your relationship, distract you from it, lead to you comparing your relationship to your fantasies negatively and meaningfully, etc.

Its normal

There was a thread on here a while back where absolutely loads of posters admitted to having very detailed and intense fantasies about celebrity crushes or fictional book characters. I'm sure the concensus was that it's a form of escapism and not that unusual.

Thank you for the comments and making me feeling normal haha!
I just find it so strange that they're not always erotic fantasies (sometimes) but with this one I'm currently "living" in, I literally fantasised last night that I had a child with his best friend and we were in parents evening together and then we went home and decided to have another baby,
And my brain really enjoyed this "story",

I've done this since I was young

And it's the zoning out, literally I can be sat on the sofa living in this world for 20 mins before snapping out of it

I think normal! My best friend and I both have a fantasy life with a celeb partner and amazing jobs/lives - we discuss it fairly often 😂 both very happily married and been with our partners for 25 years

@DominoRules I have had celebrity ones before,
I think because sexual fantasies are the ones you hear about often, I didn't know if I was weird that my fantasies sometimes involve a sexual natural, but more often than not, it's more the relationship side and I fantasise basically a whole new life which includes all the elements

I think that's the reason I've been feeling guilty today, because I wasn't inventing a whole new life with a random fictional person, but I was getting excitement for a life with DPs close friend, and I know I'd never act on it and it's all a fantasy and I'm completely in love with DP but it just feels weird today

OP, I'm not sure if this the exact thread I was talking about but there's lots of posters on here who have very detailed fantasies about celebs, men they've met in real life or men they've made up. Some mention fantasising about having a different life, or even chopping and changing between a few different lives, which sounds quite similar to you

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4179284-AIBU-to-think-this-isnt-normal-Really-intense-celeb-crush?page=1

I think what you're experiencing is definitely within the realms of normal

@neverbeenskiing thank you! I will have a read through this now:

I wonder if men have similar fantasies I.e. living in another "reality", or whether it's mainly females

I've done it since I was young, too. I distinctly remember being 4 or 5 and telling my mum about the stories I made up about two firefighters from some 70s schlock medical drama.

Someone mentioned ADD/ADHD and we do have that in our family. I used to zone out a lot at school where my fantasy drama with some pop star was far more fun than cell reproduction or conjugating French verbs. Looking back I was textbook 'young girl presenting with ADD'.

I definitely use it now when things are stressful in my life, and find it really comforting. Interestingly there's a whole load of women (online) who clearly do this, but something goes a bit wrong, and they end up harassing the object of their story online or even in real life. It's like the fantasy takes over and they need some sort of connection that's real. That's what I would call a problem.

It is normal, don't worry. I used to have similar fantasies as a younger married woman, phases of them. It was like a soap opera going on in my head. Now I am old and on my own, I have different fantasies that don't involve another man, they are quite charming and benign. We are what we are.