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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was this rude? I can't tell.

35 replies

annabannana1 · 05/05/2024 17:59

So DH DS and I arranged to meet another family we have known for years from baby classes, today in the park at 10, been arranged for three weeks.
They did not turn up and we waited around in the horrible drizzle for about half an hour, DH thought maybe their youngest was having a longer nap so we then waited til 11, then I text to ask if they were coming down or if we got the wrong park.
Nothing until 12 when she said she's been busy with her DH family and wasn't going to be able to make it. Two hours after we'd arranged to meet. They'd even text in the morning to confirm plans.
DD gets on with their kids v well, we've met up at certain points over the years, DD had also made their kids cakes and was v excited to see them so she was disappointed.
Now I thought this was a bit rude and I was fuming, but I lost my mum last year unexpectedly and find it quite hard to get out and about with people still (horrible diagnosis, died a few days later), which they know so not sure if I'm being over sensitive due to this... so Is it rude or AIBU?

OP posts:
Yummymummy2020 · 05/05/2024 18:00

Super rude op! They could have at least let you know before the time!!!

Comedycook · 05/05/2024 18:01

They were incredibly rude

Bigearringsbigsmile · 05/05/2024 18:01

Horrendously rude!!!!

IncompleteSenten · 05/05/2024 18:01

That's fucking rude.

MereDintofPandiculation · 05/05/2024 18:01

Unless there was a mega crisis (threat of imminent death) in her DH's family, that was rude.

BorisIsACuntWaffle · 05/05/2024 18:01

Fucking rude.

rainbowstardrops · 05/05/2024 18:02

Absolutely rude! If she managed to message you two hours after the original meet up time, why couldn't she message you much earlier on to explain her situation?

Redglitter · 05/05/2024 18:02

That's beyond rude. Who in the right mind does that. I'd have said it was rude if they'd cancelled just before the time you met but to not have the decency to message you til 2 hours past your meeting time is shocking. And her excuse makes it even worse

I wouldn't be rescheduling

RandomUsernameHere · 05/05/2024 18:03

Yes, extremely rude of them.

DinaofCloud9 · 05/05/2024 18:04

Yes of course its bloody rude.

LauderSyme · 05/05/2024 18:04

Of course it was rude! You don't text 2 hours late to say you can't make it.

Condolences for the loss of your mum 💐

FannyFifer · 05/05/2024 18:04

Wow, that's beyond rude, especially to text in morning to confirm then just not show up.
I'd be ditching them, not friends.

drusth · 05/05/2024 18:05

Unforgivably rude. Don’t meet them again and don’t make any cakes for them.

Josette77 · 05/05/2024 18:07

I'm VERY easygoing and this would piss me off.

Horrendously rude.

I am also very sorry for your loss. ❤️ You should be proud you got yourself out today even though the other family were asses.

PistachioCroissant · 05/05/2024 18:08

Absolutely outrageous.

Did you reply by saying oh that's a shame, we've been waiting here for you in the rain, I wish you'd let us know.

People can be so selfish.

ICanFixHim · 05/05/2024 18:08

So fucking rude. What did you reply OP?

Hermittrismegistus · 05/05/2024 18:11

If it's not their normal behaviour then I'd assume they'd had a huge row or something and didn't want to say.

ManagedMove · 05/05/2024 18:13

Honestly unforgivable rude as far as I'm concerned. I'd be polite in future because of the kids but that's it.

Original poster
annabannana1 · 05/05/2024 18:13

Ok thanks all. I thought it was awfully rude but I didn't know whether the fact that they were with family made me over sensitive.
I've not replied and prob won't. I don't know what to say and we have some mutual friends I don't want her to bitch about me to.
DH who is very laid back and gave them the benefit of the doubt for the morning is now definitely in the camp of that bridge is burnt.
And we ate all the cakes!

OP posts:
desperatedaysareover · 05/05/2024 18:16

Sorry about your mum.

The only way I can think it’s not rude is if there’s been a communication breakdown of some sort - like she thought you were heading there anyway and maybe meeting others or something? Or something awful happened as they were leaving the house and two hours later she offered a thin excuse in the wake of some terrible event.

But honestly, the reason I’m trying to think of reasons to give her the benefit of the doubt is cos the alternative scenario of leaving someone hanging for two hours is just SO alien I’m like ‘surely nobody does that’ 😳 and if they/I ever did I’d expect/offer profuse apologies as well. So maybe it was just total lack of manners, yeah. Are they usually flakey/rude?

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 05/05/2024 18:18

Very rude. I think some people view it as 'X is going park anyway so it doesn't matter if I'm there.' As opposed to 'I'm meeting X at the park'

But I don't understand that mind set

buckeejit · 05/05/2024 18:19

So rude & disrespectful

Pigeonqueen · 05/05/2024 18:19

Very rude.

buckeejit · 05/05/2024 18:21

And I'm sorry for your loss op - I had the same quick loss with my dad last year, after a slower loss with mum the year before. It sucks 💐

muggart · 05/05/2024 18:33

Did she not realise it was a firm plan? It sounds very rude indeed.