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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He said I don't appreciate him for this reason...

33 replies

Daydreams80 · 05/05/2024 14:57

We have been seeing eachother on and off for a few years. We always end up back together at some point and I know I should probably end things altogether. Anyway when we were messaging he askd me to send him a photo. I didn't send it because I had not seen him for a while and I kinda thought he didn't deserve it at that point because I felt that he had not put much effort into us lately.

Anyway a few weeks later I messaged him and then sent a photo (not showing my face as you can never truly know what they could do with your photo). He didn't reply to my message so I then quickly deleted the photo before he had seen it as it just didn't feel right iykwim.

Since I deleted the photo ever other message is "resend the photo". I have not and he has been very off with me and saying that I don't"appreciate him".

Can I have your thoughts please. How would you respond? Deal with it?

OP posts:
Greywitch2 · 05/05/2024 14:58

I would block him.

He sounds appalling. What on earth is there to 'appreciate' in his behaviour?

MatildaTheCat · 05/05/2024 14:58

Block him.

toomuchfaff · 05/05/2024 16:49

"no I don't appreciate you, you're a dick"

Blocked 🚫

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/05/2024 16:52

People managed for millennia without sending nudes to each other. And considering what men frequently do with these, I wouldn't.

Just dump the whiney nobber.

Testina · 05/05/2024 16:56

You should make a commitment to yourself that you don’t cheapen yourself by sending photos to literal wankers. You say yourself you should break off with him completely. You’ve got a slither of self esteem because you deleted it. Get him out of the picture and give that slither space to grow.

I’m not against a bit of homemade porn - but FGS keep it for someone who actually likes and respects you.

Mudflaps · 05/05/2024 17:14

Block him, you are little more that wank fodder for him.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 05/05/2024 17:19

This doesn't sound like much of a relationship tbh. Very transactional on both sides - weighing up who deserves what and who appreciates whom. Why on earth would you feel you needed to (reluctantly) send nude pictures to a man like this?

Pinkpinkplonk · 05/05/2024 17:21

Dump him

Emmadaily · 05/05/2024 17:38

He sounds awful OP
I wouldn't want any more to do him
Get rid then block.

StillYourFavouriteRegret · 05/05/2024 17:40

So you can only have access and the ability to communicate with him, if first you send him a pic for him to wank over?

What in the ever loving fuck.

In the nicest way. Yes you need to lose him and find your self-respect.

Daydreams80 · 05/05/2024 19:47

I have not sent him the photo. I think he is trying to manipulate me into sending it. He is being off and saying I don't appreciate blah blah.

OP posts:
dragonscannotswim · 05/05/2024 20:19

Urgh, why would you ever think about sending a nude to a man you don't trust?? Think about that.

But just dump him and block him, the whiney twat.

Sapphire387 · 05/05/2024 20:21

Who is this guy? Your boyfriend or just some random?! I mean, either way it's unacceptable. But why would you even appreciate someone who you're not actually in a proper relationship with? What does on/off mean in reality?

DelphiniumBlue · 05/05/2024 20:26

Is this what passes for romance these days? I'm old but wtaf??
Please block him forever, he sounds revolting.

TheSnowyOwl · 05/05/2024 20:26

Just stop replying and block him.

RobBeckettsGiantTeeth · 05/05/2024 20:28

Jesus. Find some self respect and dump him. You're just wank fodder to him.

LoudSnoringDog · 05/05/2024 20:31

Stop sending nudes

Bananadramallamas · 05/05/2024 20:33

Does he have any redeeming features?

Dacadactyl · 05/05/2024 20:35

Daydreams80 · 05/05/2024 19:47

I have not sent him the photo. I think he is trying to manipulate me into sending it. He is being off and saying I don't appreciate blah blah.

Just drop him like a hot potato and block him.

He's total trash.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 05/05/2024 20:37

Why have you accepted that you’re just wank fodder?

StillYourFavouriteRegret · 05/05/2024 20:48

Daydreams80 · 05/05/2024 19:47

I have not sent him the photo. I think he is trying to manipulate me into sending it. He is being off and saying I don't appreciate blah blah.

I think it's time to stop pondering the situation and the entire relationship to be honest.

Daydreams80 · 05/05/2024 20:48

I repeat - I have not sent him nudes. And want fodder? Shouldn't a man want to wank over someone they are attracted to? 🤔

OP posts:
Daydreams80 · 05/05/2024 20:50

@StillYourFavouriteRegret I find it quite amusing actually 😅

OP posts:
StillYourFavouriteRegret · 05/05/2024 21:01

Do you? Being treated like shit by an absolute bellend is funny to you?

TheSnowyOwl · 05/05/2024 21:02

Daydreams80 · 05/05/2024 20:48

I repeat - I have not sent him nudes. And want fodder? Shouldn't a man want to wank over someone they are attracted to? 🤔

In the nicest possible way, if he was attracted to you then you wouldn’t be in this dilemma.