AIBU to accept to feel so hopeless surrounding my binge eating

[Glucose95]

Hi all,
it took a lot of courage to write about this so please be kind…

Throughout my life I have always struggled with food. Maybe due to childhood trauma - not sure - but I can remember using food as a coping mechanism for stress since I was about 10.

I am late 20s now and have endured years of my weight up-young from about 10 stone to 19 stone.

I did so well throughout 2023, avoided UPF, stuck to mainly natural foods and brisk walked daily. My weight was about 11 stones in November.

Fast forward to today, and I am now back at 16 stones and my weight is only going up. I am binging on so much sugary food, just as a coping mechanism for stress. Like, when I am stressed I may go for chocolate. The problem is though, when I do it is not just one bar I go for, I often eat about 8 in one sitting.

I know it is all due to stress, but I can’t help but thinking how much it causes me to spiral in general. When I am the weight I am now I have less confidence (eg won’t take photos etc) and feel lower than I would be if I was back at where I was last year. All my nice clothes are at a smaller weight as I don’t want to buy new clothes as I am now as I don’t want to stay here. It just spirals….

Does anyone else use food as a coping mechanism for stress, and if so please could you share strategies for getting past this?

I just feel so hopeless about myself (eg weight) when I go through one of these binging periods.

Are there NHS services for this type of eating?

I heard someone speak on the radio and describe their situation (which totally resonated with mine) and it was described as “binge eating disorder”.

I never really saw myself as having an eating disorder before, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense…

Will I be stuck in this constant state of flux with my weight throughout my life?

I worry that it won’t be a long life with all of the health complications that eating so much sugar can bring…

Wow, this thread gets no replies!

I can sympathise as I had a gastric sleeve out of desperation and went from 19st to 10st.

I've regained 30lbs and don't know how to control myself :(

I take Elvanse (lisdexamphetamine) for ADHD, but it is also prescribed for binge eating disorders. It’s completely sorted out my binge eating, too. I wouldn’t say I had an eating disorder, but I did binge on sugar at times of stress. I no longer do.

Obviously, therapeutic interventions that get to the root of your disordered eating night be preferable. But I just thought I’d add my experience.

You could report your post to MN and ask them to move it to 'weight loss chat', especially if you want to be shown kindness. AIBU isn't great for that.

If you search for binge eating on MN there's quite a bit of information including book and support group recommendations. I've had similar issues and am now considering the weight loss injections such as Mounjaro, as many people find this reduces the 'food noise' in their heads.

Hey OP. Please reach out to your GP to discuss your concerns about a possible rating disorder. It sounds like a talk with a health professional may be of benefit here. Good luck 😊

And what do you think OP might be offered by the overwhelmed primary care service? If it's anything like my experience, in effect? nothing. Cookie cutter 'see your GP' responses are unhelpful.

I have tried overeaters anonymous, similar to AA for people with problems with food and I deli d it really helpful. It’s a really hard one but I can’t eat sugar in any form and accepting that and cutting it out has been life changing. I really felt like an alcoholic around food

Oh this is all very familiar!

I was such a binge eater after a childhood traumatic incident. I think at my biggest I was 16 stone, and I'm pretty short so it wasn't great.

I don't honestly know what changed. I just woke up and was ready to get a grip of it. The overeating made me feel so ill, I had awful reflux and slept terribly if I had binged.

I went through months of pretty much solely eating homemade soup; now I eat lunch and tea but keep to decent portions and really minimise the carbs.

I think my stomach has shrunk as my appetite has just dropped through the floor; I honestly don't know how I used to eat what I did. Food pretty rarely enters my thoughts now whereas before it dominated my days.

So..I'm sorry I don't have specific advice for you. But you can go cold turkey on it, you really can. When you start to feel so much healthier and good about yourself, you're just motivated not to backslide.

I'm another suggesting an addiction support group - try your local CGL (Care Grow Live) support groups.

OP, I sympathise, I am addicted to sugar and can't stop 😭

What is causing your stress OP? Is it something you can tackle ie by changing jobs? Why have your stress levels suddenly gone through the roof this past year? I wondered if it was actually your anxiety levels rather than your stress levels and if an antidepressant for anxiety might help you? Have you ever watched My 600lb life? Childhood trauma is almost always the reason for it. It would definitely be worth seeing if you could get some help with that too.

I have no personal experience of this, however one of my friends has binge eating disorder and we figured out that it's really psychologically similar to my trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling). We both do it in the same situations when we're stressed and tired, and we end up in a flow state just preoccupied with hair pulling/gorging. We both have ADHD (and autism but I don't think that's related).

I went on a pure fruit diet for a while in an attempt to cure some health problems (with mixed results). There's a theory that sugar cravings are your body's way of telling you you're not eating enough fruit, which I personally believe because I'm not interested in sugar hardly at all after the fruit diet.

Could you try having a pre-breakfast of 3 portions of fruit every day?

Sorry no advice but I could have wrote your post word for word OP. Have a look at BEAT online

I went to the GP at 18 about my unhealthy relationship with food. I got nowhere. I'm now 61 and it's no better. A lifetime of dieting and bingeing.
I've just adopted the Glucose Goddess Principles in the hope that stable insulin release will reduce cravings. Couple that with mindful eating and I am hoping to get somewhere.

I’m following with interest OP. I know I have this with a bit of the occasional bulimia thrown in when I have completely pigged out.
I need help I know. I can eat an entire snack cupboard
i also believe it’s related to childhood trauma

Take a semi-glutide injection like monjaro. It's scaffolding whilst you overhaul exercise and nutrition (like antidepressants are).

You'll see you've been living life on hard mode and that once the food noise goes away you can manage your eating. It's not willpower, it's biological. It's not a quick fix, it's therapeutic in making sustainable changes.

And then flog clothes on vinted and buy clothes on there. Almost cost neutral.

Hi @Glucose95 ,
I could have written your post many many times over the years and I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation. I'm 52 and I've suffered from this my entire life. I've gained and lost 30-40kg over and over again in vicious cycles. I'd like to be able to tell you that I'm completely better now but I can't. I do manage things better now though and can recognise and switch out of the binge cycles much quicker than I have done in the past. It's still there lurking in the background but I'm not on the rollercoaster any more. I'm going to list some of the things I've found helpful and if they are useful to you or anyone else reading this I'm glad I could share.

1. Gillian Riley https://event.webinarjam.com/register/215/p45nlhvl

She addresses unhealthy relationships with food and teaches some techniques and shares a lot of evidence based information. Although not specifically aimed at binge eating disorder, her approach is sound and I found it helped and stayed with me. In particular how she uncouples the relationship with food from weight and appearance. I found that so useful. She's got an online seminar starting soon.

1. Brain over binge - this again was a very helpful book. I can't say it completely worked for me and I didn't relate to a lot of her experience. But it did help, I learned a few techniques which again have stayed with me.
2. The CVT Ultraprocessed People book. I know that you were moderating UPFs before this binge cycle and I can only advise that you try and gradually reduce again. Even one at a time. I don't think they were the underlying cause of my BED but they are designed to be highly palatable and addictive. So if you suffer from BED they really are kryptonite. I approached this by gradually reducing rather than going all out. So I identified Chocolate as my no 1 binge food. So I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted apart from chocolate. When I felt that was manageable I turned my attention to processed white bread and so on.
3. Some CBT to address my reactions to stress, anxiety and other feelings. I have very black and white thinking so if I eat one chocolate bar or have a bad few days I often just throw in the towel and eat all the food for months and months (and perhaps longer...). CBT has taught me to be more moderate in my thinking, pause before reacting and has helped me take a deep breath and reset earlier on in the binge cycle.
4. Exercise is what I call my 'keystone' habit. If I get some proper exercise every day, lots of other stuff falls into place. It's essential to my mental health and managing stress and other strong emotions. Lots of other positive stuff (sleep, bowels, boosted immune system etc) related to exercise for me. I plan and prioritise it.
5. Slightly left field - Richard Osman - if you can find where he has written and spoken about his lifelong BED and how he has learned to be compassionate to himself and accept that this will always be with him somewhere in the background. I'll post a link if I can find it.

I hope there's something in there you find will resonate with you. You've done a very brave thing by posting here. You are not alone. I wish you well xxx

I used to often binge eat from getting home after work until dinner time. I read a book about binge eating and one thing that stayed with me was, every time you want to eat something and you're not actually hungry, don't say no to yourself. Tell yourself you can have anything you want to eat, whenever you want. The psychology behind this is we tend to want things more if we are told we can't have them. If you give yourself permission it becomes less attractive. Sounds weird but it worked for me

Like anything else though, this is a habit and it takes a while to break a habit & find a new one

I know little about disordered eating but OP, I think it's really positive that you are not lying to yourself. You are owning this and as you probably already know, permanent change can only ever come from within. So I reckon you stand a bloody good chance of getting things under control.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0012rhj
I hope this link works - Richard Osman speaking about his binge eating disorder

Hi OP.

I'm a psychotherapist and I treat Binge Eating Disorder among others. I predominantly use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

I would advise you to refer to your local IAPT/wellbeing team. This is a free NHS therapy service. Either self refer (google your county/borough and wellbeing team - I.e Nottinghamshire Talking Therapies self referral) or you can discuss with your GP and they can refer you.

CBT is coping strategy focused so it will take you through the factors contributing to the development of your binge eating. We then focus on what is maintaining your binge eating disorder. Finally we move on to coping strategies to stop the cycle.

Waiting times vary massively from area to area so id refer asap.

Good luck!

Following because in a similar position. It’s scary not being in control. Been binge eating since I was a child. Lots of trauma when I was young and now it’s literally any small upset that sets me off. Yesterday my daughter fell over in the garden and cut herself. I felt so awful that after I sorted her out I ate 6 bars of chocolate and four cakes. That’s when people are around. When I’m alone it’s much worse.

Hi OP. I'm very similar. I wonder if this kind of thing can also be genetic.
My mum was bulimic when I was growing up; dad had major alcohol and gambling issues. Both were strict about food and are 'anti-fat'. I've definitely got an obsessive/addictive personality when it comes to food.
I wish I were the sort of person - like everyone else I know! - who could be the same weight from year to year. However I could be 5 stone lighter or heavier, depending on whether or not I'm dieting!
It's a bit of a nightmare actually.

If it started with childhood trauma I would start there. Once you heal the wound, you can start to unlearn the unhealthy coping mechanisms and develop new ways to self soothe.