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AIBU?

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Original poster

For being really PO that another mum is jealous of my sons statement

49 replies

sussies · 02/04/2008 16:37

Today I was waiting for ds, when another mum came upto me and screamed in to my face, that it was 'fing disgusting that ds had a statement and her kid didn't when her kid is a yr older and was the same intellectually as ds'. She (after a lot more screaming while I stood there like this ) said he had only got his because he was a crip! I am so upset, I worked my arse of to get him his statement so it was in place when he started school (btw ds is 8 and yr 4, her daughter is 10 and yr 5). I took a deep breath and said well, she should do it herself and not rely on the school.
You don't have to post, I just needed to vent. And now I am going to feed my kids and take them swimming.
Thank you for reading. S

OP posts:
TenaciousG · 02/04/2008 16:44

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lardylumps · 02/04/2008 16:44

Sorry I dont know what you mean by statement but re the comment about crip! I would of slapped her.

Divastrop · 02/04/2008 16:45

whats her problem?is she waiting to apply for DLA or something?

Divastrop · 02/04/2008 16:46

i assume the op is talking abut a statement of special educational needs?

cazcaz · 02/04/2008 16:46

Oh my goodness sussies, that is awful!!

I have just recieved ds2's proposed statement so I fully appreciate the work involved.

Well done for staying in control, must have been quite disturbing really, and what a shame that she didn't approach to ask your advice if she was concerned about her dc.

Enjoy the swimming and the rest of your day and try to put it to the back of your mind.

sarah293 · 02/04/2008 16:47

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ancientmiddleagedmum · 02/04/2008 16:52

she sounds like an ignorant chav - how dare she use a word like that. I find it amazing that mums can still be competitive over special needs (I too have a child with a statement) - surely we should all support each other! she has probably done f all to get a statement and expected it all to fall in her lap, while you worked your arse off to understand and then work around the system. She's a bad mum, a lazy c, and if she does it again, record her on your phone and tell her you're making a police complaint for verbal assault. V angry on your behalf, think I too would have slapped her or certainly reported her to the school for abusive behaviour in front of kids

lardylumps · 02/04/2008 16:52

OMG that is even worse...

beaniesteve · 02/04/2008 16:52

what is a statement?

StarlightMcKenzie · 02/04/2008 16:53

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LilRedWG · 02/04/2008 16:53

That is terrible! What a horrible horrible woman. for you.

sarah293 · 02/04/2008 17:00

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nametaken · 02/04/2008 17:01

forgive me for my ignorance, but how would someone else know your child has a statement. Surely that's your personal business.

ancientmiddleagedmum · 02/04/2008 17:05

It's become quite a topic for the chattering, Daily Mail readers to give the following dull, uninformed view on statements at dinner parties or coffee mornings: "oh all these kids with statements for made-up conditions like dyslexia or ADHD, they're just doing it to get extra time in exams. In my day, it wasn't dyslexia, it was just trouble reading and you just got on with it". Next time I hear that viewpoint, usually brayed out of the gob of some thick pearl-wearing yummy mum, I'm going to invite her round to my house to look after my (autistic ) son for just one hour and then return to me with a revised view. Or slap her.

flyingmum · 02/04/2008 17:05

all I can think is her poor kid.

You were very calm in the circumstances - well done.

sarah293 · 02/04/2008 17:07

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Twiglett · 02/04/2008 17:08

oh good reaction

catzy · 02/04/2008 17:11

What a bitch!

cazcaz · 02/04/2008 17:12

Riven, thats also shocking!!

nametaken, I'm sure the school don't broadcast which children have statements, but I am certainly making no secret of DS2's when he starts school in September. In fact my friends who will have children in the same year already know.

If I act as though it's a secret DS will think it is something to be ashamed of, and I am absolutely going to do my best to ensure that doesn't happen.

It's going to be head held high in the playground for me!

ancientmiddleagedmum · 02/04/2008 17:18

Good for you Cazcaz! I was really worried about the other mums' reactions when I first started taking my autistic DS to school, but actually they have all been very nice and accepting. Even one rather nauseating yummy mum, who I expected to be a PITA, said "I think it's great that they mix special needs kids in with mainstream kids, a really good idea". She did spoil it a bit by adding, "depending on the level of course " - meaning it's only good if the kid's not TOO disabled. But I was still pleased, as it shows that accepted "dinner party wisdom" among yummies is that inclusion is "a good thing". Probably because "that nice David Cameron said so" but still...it all helps!

sarah293 · 02/04/2008 17:21

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Monkeytrousers · 02/04/2008 17:21

I think I would have bloodied her nose.

Bouncingturtle · 02/04/2008 17:27

Ancietmum - sadly that was the attitude when my mum was in school thank God things have moved on (except for this absolutely foul woman - well done sussies for keeping your cool, especially about the "crip" comment, I don't think I would have been so restrained). If my mum was being educated now there is no doubt in my mind she would have had her dyslexia picked up. Instead she left school at 15 with zero qualifications, labelled as thick despite the fact she is an absolute wizz at maths!

2shoes · 02/04/2008 17:27

I would write what I think about the woman who screamed at you and called your ds a crip...but it would be so rude I won't

ibiza1 · 02/04/2008 17:30

thats mental, i am fighting for a statment and i think all parents know how hard it is, i mean she sounded jealous that ur child got the statment b4 her i find that hard to digest.
i think if u put a bit of extra work in like write the extra letters etc and fight for it then fair enough but if she is just waiting on it being handed to her she needs to wise up.
next time tell her to go f...k herself (angry)