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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu or is my friend taking the piss?

46 replies

Undeux · 03/05/2024 21:16

This morning I got a text from a friend saying they were going away for the weekend and needed to borrow an item of mine if that was OK and they'd said they'd be round after work. I said I needed to go and do an errand this evening and would do so after they left. All fine

I text a few times asking what time they'd be here and was getting no response. About 10 minutes ago they text finally replying saying sorry for not telling me sooner but they've now borrowed it from someone else so won't be coming. I then told them how annoyed I was as I've been on hold for hours ruining my evening plans as I said I'd be here for them and they've utterly taken the piss out of my time. They've then got angry at me for being upset.... Aibu?

OP posts:
MultiplaLight · 03/05/2024 21:21

Frustrating for you but I'd have gone and done my errand and sent her a message saying, I assume you aren't coming so have gone out.

TakeTen · 03/05/2024 21:22

They obviously should have let you know, but why did you wait so long? If ‘after work’ was say 6pm ish, then by 7pm, I’d have carried on with my night, especially if they hadn’t text.

Are they usually like this or is it a one off?

Aquamarine1029 · 03/05/2024 21:23

Rude, cheeky arseholes always have a tantrum when someone calls them out on their piss poor behaviour. Get rid.

Original poster
Undeux · 03/05/2024 21:23

MultiplaLight · 03/05/2024 21:21

Frustrating for you but I'd have gone and done my errand and sent her a message saying, I assume you aren't coming so have gone out.

I couldn't have done that as she was desperate for this item and it was a big favour.

The aibu is the me telling her how annoyed I was and her being angry with me for being annoyed

OP posts:
Eggmoobean · 03/05/2024 21:24

They were clearly piss taking imo

DrJoanAllenby · 03/05/2024 21:24
  1. Never a lender or a borrower be.
  1. You should have just done your errand rather than sit around like a lemon.
  1. She doesn't sound like much of a friend.
MultiplaLight · 03/05/2024 21:27

Yanbu to be annoyed.

But you could have gone and done the errand, if she had to wait, that's on her for her shit communication.

Original poster
Undeux · 03/05/2024 21:45

MultiplaLight · 03/05/2024 21:27

Yanbu to be annoyed.

But you could have gone and done the errand, if she had to wait, that's on her for her shit communication.

I couldn't have gone because the item would have to be loaded into my car and hers and me follow her back to her house and I wouldn't leave her in the lurch

It was the 'I've said I'm sorry' attitude as if that just erases all consequences and annoyance that's made me question if I'm bu

OP posts:
BlaHaHa · 03/05/2024 21:47

I hate it when people tell you that you need to get over it. With no thought to how you feel.

MultiplaLight · 03/05/2024 22:00

You physically could have left, and text her to say she's been a long time so I've had to do the errand.

Her attitude is awful, I wouldn't want to speak to her again.

Lovinglife57 · 03/05/2024 22:08

Friend? Na

Original poster
Undeux · 03/05/2024 22:16

MultiplaLight · 03/05/2024 22:00

You physically could have left, and text her to say she's been a long time so I've had to do the errand.

Her attitude is awful, I wouldn't want to speak to her again.

You'd go that far?

OP posts:
Original poster
Undeux · 03/05/2024 22:20

BlaHaHa · 03/05/2024 21:47

I hate it when people tell you that you need to get over it. With no thought to how you feel.

That's what did it. They said they were sorry but with zero thought to how I was waiting for them and I was just sitting at home anyway. I didn't even involve myself in it. It was nothing to do with me, I was helping them and my time is just as valuable

OP posts:
PaminaMozart · 03/05/2024 22:23

This morning I got a text from a friend...

This morning I got a text from a former friend

There - fixed it for you.

Justcallmebebes · 03/05/2024 22:30

Undeux · 03/05/2024 21:45

I couldn't have gone because the item would have to be loaded into my car and hers and me follow her back to her house and I wouldn't leave her in the lurch

It was the 'I've said I'm sorry' attitude as if that just erases all consequences and annoyance that's made me question if I'm bu

Show quote history

Your friend was totally unreasonable and I wouldn't have been happy either. I am curious though, what was it that had to be loaded into your car, her car and necessitated you following her? Just intrigued because I was thinking maybe it was something like a suitcase she was after borrowing

Original poster
Undeux · 03/05/2024 22:41

Justcallmebebes · 03/05/2024 22:30

Your friend was totally unreasonable and I wouldn't have been happy either. I am curious though, what was it that had to be loaded into your car, her car and necessitated you following her? Just intrigued because I was thinking maybe it was something like a suitcase she was after borrowing

Show quote history

A type of camping equipment

OP posts:
drusth · 03/05/2024 22:43

She’s not a friend, a friend would have felt terrible.

Never do her favours again.

Copperoliverbear · 03/05/2024 22:43

They're selfish, if they ask to borrow anything again, say I won't be home sorry.

Original poster
Undeux · 03/05/2024 22:45

drusth · 03/05/2024 22:43

She’s not a friend, a friend would have felt terrible.

Never do her favours again.

I'm calming a bit and I'm wondering if it was actually her feeling guilty that made her react like such a twat?

She said sorry and thank you, then only when I pointed out how much it had fucked up my day did she get angry back. And like you say, I would have been mortified being so thoughtless

OP posts:
drusth · 03/05/2024 22:48

Undeux · 03/05/2024 22:45

I'm calming a bit and I'm wondering if it was actually her feeling guilty that made her react like such a twat?

She said sorry and thank you, then only when I pointed out how much it had fucked up my day did she get angry back. And like you say, I would have been mortified being so thoughtless

Show quote history

No, it’s not guilt, it’s entitlement.

Guilt would have had her apologising a dozen times.

Original poster
Undeux · 03/05/2024 22:56

drusth · 03/05/2024 22:48

No, it’s not guilt, it’s entitlement.

Guilt would have had her apologising a dozen times.

Show quote history

I was just thinking that because she's usually lovely

Or embarrassment?

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 03/05/2024 22:59

She’s usually lovely when it’s easy to be lovely. The other aspect of her character has emerged here.

It will be hard for you to trust the ‘lovely’ from now on won’t it?

Original poster
Undeux · 03/05/2024 23:08

AtrociousCircumstance · 03/05/2024 22:59

She’s usually lovely when it’s easy to be lovely. The other aspect of her character has emerged here.

It will be hard for you to trust the ‘lovely’ from now on won’t it?

To be fair, I've known her a good few years and we've had a couple of disagreements and she's still never reacted like this. It's just baffling to be angry someone's angry with you. It's like a child

OP posts:
alrightluv · 03/05/2024 23:12

News for you. She really isn't lovely. Non of my scattiest friends would do that.

Hippii · 03/05/2024 23:15

I have a friend who would do this. She has done similar in the past- we would arrange to go out and she would let me know an hour or 2 before she couldn't come. Once she text me 15 mins before our meet time at a destination an hour away from us and I didn't check my phone until I was sat in the venue waiting. After this I don't prioritise meeting her. I still see her but not as often and don't ever have faith she will turn up.