Mixed sex wards?

[Ward3567]

Hi!

just wondered what other people would have felt about this because honestly I’m not sure if my reaction is ridiculous or not!

I was recently unwell and in hospital and on a ward for several days. I have really limited experience with hospitals but I guess I had assumed everyone on the ward would be female but it was mixed. I was the youngest (early 20s) and everyone was so, so nice so it was fine, but I sort of felt a bit nervous about being on a ward with men- I know that’s completely daft because it’s a hospital and nothing happened and they were all nice but I was really nervous about it. There was around 6 of us (2 females and 4 males) and everyone was ranging in age from 40-70 so I was the youngest and honestly they couldn’t have been nicer to me so I feel so awful for feeling nervous and uneasy, but I just sort of spent the entire time on my nerves. I guess it was probably worsened by being unwell and feeling a bit vulnerable which probably made it all seem worse than it actually was, but I just felt so uneasy about it. During the night there were no staff within eyeshot or earshot because our ward was at the other end of the corridor and I just remember being up at 4am and feeling totally alone and frightened to be around 4 males. Add into the equation the fact our ward toilet didn’t have a working lock on it which probably made it the whole thing feel more stressful than it was!

so yeah, just wondered would this have made anyone else nervous or was I being dramatic/feeling a bit vulnerable because I was unwell?

DH was in hospital last week and was in a mixed ward. I wasn’t expecting it, but then every time I have been in hospital as an adult has been for obs/gyne reasons and so have been in the female wing. There were 8 bays of 6 beds on his ward, and the bays were single sex. I’m not sure I would have felt comfortable for him if there had been a male/female bay of beds, because he was at least half the age of the other men and I wouldn't have wanted him to be feared.

Not all men are rapist but 100% of rapists are men.

Let's not forget that, ever.

For all the people that are absolutely fine with it could you give me a handy little tip - how do I tell the bad men from the good ones ?

Yes, the 'rooms' are the bays and the whole thing is the ward.

They never called the police on my ward. We also had a man who (at times) identified as a woman on the female wing which was where our bedrooms were.

They do when they need to admit a man and the only bed is on the female bay. They try not to but it does happen.

I don't have an issue with mixed sex wards, as long as the bays are single sex. I think I'd find being on a ward surrounded by people with dementia more difficult than being next to a man.

Many men certainly do not ignore each other! The amount of times I've walked onto a bay to hear the men talking about very inappropriate things and they just carry on!

I absolutely hate it. I have never been in a mixed ward myself as my only hospital stays were maternity but my mum before she died was in a mixed one. As l say for hours at her bedside l could hear the men using there bedpan at they are entitled to do but l felt it very distressing for my mum . The poor old men were inclined to wander a bit not always fully clad and it was awkward. There was no way l would have left my mum for one second as she would have been in a tizzy seeing a strange man at her bedside.
Years ago this would never have happened.

That fact doesn't make you feel any better when you are being sexually assaulted on your ward.

Most men and women are decent caring human beings.

@Pinkpinkplonk far far to many men are not. 1 in 4 women have been raped or sexually assaulted; 1 in 6 children have been victims of CSA. The vast majority of those offences and all of the rapes are committed by men. Let’s not pretend there’s a tiny minority responsible for so much horror.

men who would never dream of raping or sexually assaulting women share revenge porn; engage in disgusting misogyny and otherwise abuse women.

they watch violent porn, harass women in bars. Hell even the supposedly nice ones share sexist jokes, sit too close on tube or are otherwise creepy.

the actually number of legitimately decent men, out of the many I know is tragically small.

We must not accept this. Lots of excuses on here for why women should put up with this. When people are unwell they are vulnerable and, bays should be single sex. As a nurse I cannot tell you the amount of sexual comments and abuse we are subjected to and guess what? It was all men.
My trust is now mixing sex and we raise our concerns but are told it's exceptional circumstances but it is not really as it happens frequently.

A mixed bay is a mixed sex breach and the hospital will be fined for it. Even in ICU, where mixed sex bays of critically ill patients are allowed, once the patient is no longer critical, it becomes a mixed sex breach, even if there is no room anywhere else in the hospital to move the patient to. It is also considered a mixed sex breach if a patient has to walk through a bay of patients of the opposite sex to reach a bathroom.

One thing to note is that transgender patients are not deemed to form part of a breach if they have expressed a desire to be accommodated in a bay that matches their desired presentation.

Trouble is dementia especially can make people behave inappropriately. My grandmother was so distressed to be on a mixed sex geriatric ward. There was a confused old man who kept getting in bed with her at night. It was so awful for her having only ever been with my grandpa. And another one who was playing with himself all the time.

This happened to me 4 years ago, and I can't believe it's still happening.

I was taken to an all female ward overnight, after sitting in A&E on a chair for 19 hours. I was in the bed less than an hour and they said I had to move to the next ward along. Why I don't know as there were spare beds on the female ward.

Off I went to a ward with 5 men on it. One man next to me clearly had some issues and constantly tried to talk to me, asking me what was wrong. He was burping and farting and did not stop trying to engage with me, I felt so vulnerable.

A nurse came over and I burst into tears and said I can't stay on this ward. She sighed and just closed the curtains.

I was upset all night and was terrified he'd come through the curtains. There was absolutely no concern or compassion shown to me that night. 😕

I mean bay not ward, it was a large ward with several bays. First bay was all female, I was moved to be with men.

I think YABU to assume that all men are predators BUT I would have felt uneasy too. Its all very well to sit there and intellectually know "statistically, I'm sure these men are all very normal and not predators", but emotions /anxiety/whatever don't always follow logical thought in situations like that

I do remember when my baby was in NICU, there were many dad's around (totally fine of course, they should be allowed to see their babies as much as they pleased). I didn't have any nursing clothes with me as the birth was unexpected, and there wasn't any effective way to really shield yourself from their view unless you sat looking at a wall (which I didn't want to do as I wanted to see my baby). So I did pump with my tits out in front of all the dads (and male doctors) - none of whom leered or anything of course, and I covered as best I could with a blanket but the pump/flanges were really awkward and it was difficult to make it work. I remember giving 0 shits at the time if anyone saw my boobs because all I cared about was my baby lol

Mixed has become common where I am. It's purely because it's easier/cheaper. You stick someone where there's a bed & keep bays full or empty, rather than spreading people out due to single sex. Saves on cleaning & staffing.

When MIL was in hospital there was a man opposite her who didn't wear underwear. She had to keep her curtain completely closed or see his bits hanging out of his shorts everytime he moved, as he sat on the bed without being covered.

DF was in last year & I could hear a doc talking to the woman in the bed beside him about her intimate women's issues. DF is mostly deaf so didn't hear. But, I'd be mortified to have men hearing that!

It appears penny pinching is trumping dignity.

It's not that women assume all men are predators we should all entitled to dignity as a result our illness . The woman who was next to me in the acute ward , do you think her children would think it was suitable her illness left her restless in her bed and in a state of undress with other men the bay ?
When we are unwell we don't behave normally and neither do men or women the least we can do is allow men and women to hang on to their dignity and humanity and I would find it difficult to believe any nurse would disagree with that .

It's strange that they would have mixed bays when there are multiple bays on the ward. What type of ward was it?

I felt exactly the same op in the winter of 2020 I was in hospital for nearly three weeks on a mixed ward and there was never more than two females including myself in the ward of six beds so four bed had males.
I didn't sleep very well whilst I was in there I felt vulnerable during the long nights and no one around, I remember one night the man across from me got up and kept walking up and down the bay ranting and no one came for ages, I was so scared he was going to pull my curtain back
I think wards should be same sex

A nurse came over and I burst into tears and said I can't stay on this ward. She sighed and just closed the curtains.

I was upset all night and was terrified he'd come through the curtains. There was absolutely no concern or compassion shown to me that night. 😕
I’d say the nurses were wrecked and had everyone complaining to them but they couldn’t find beds. It’s an extremely tough job especially when you’re not given the resources to do what people want you to do

That’s terrible. When I was thinking about mixed wards, I imagined everyone poorly and weak and hooked up to tubes.

Mixed psychiatric wards are a different ball game and you should have been much better protected, even if that only means a ‘supervisor’ on the ward at all times.

Mixed sex bays are wrong, but these are desperate times for the NHS after 14 years of Tory rule. Austerity was devastating for the NHS, and it hasn’t recovered. So it can mean a choice of a bed in a mixed bay or no bed at all. My brother died at home in terrible pain because there was no hospital bed or hospice bed. Bear this in mind at the General Election.
The joke of it is many mumsnet members will say “I’m voting Tory because they know what a woman is”
Yeah look what they’ve done for women that need the NHS.

I have come across this where some nurses do not understand the distress it can cause. I think because nurses know that sometimes it is unavoidable due to logistics and are just used to that, they forget how it can feel for the patient.