Sayings on MN that bug you!!!

[MJCadman]

Off the top of my head....

"This with bells on"

"This!!!!"

"First reply nailed it as usual"

"You are awesome / my hero op"

"Are you on glue?"

"Are you ok? 😬"

I strongly suspect that a number of posters try very hard to cultivate a 'very confident no nonsense I tell it how it is' online persona on here when the reality is that they are just keyboard warriors trying to project how they would like the world to see them rather then the more prozac hum drum normal people that they actually are.

You see with the strident bragging of the "well my DH knows what my red lines are and if he crosses them even once he will be on the doorstep with packed bag" variety and I can't help but think 'yeah right'.

I've never understood what that means either @AllyCart .

It appears to be to tell somebody they're wrong or challenge them rather than actually calling them anything, but I have never, ever heard anybody say it in real life. Possibly because I try not to surround myself with inarticulate fuckwits.

Have you read the whole thread?

Erm no, real life got in the way so I went back and posted what I thought at the time to try to help, then went back to real life minutes later. 😳

Yes - what's the matter with "I was given"? Children can be gifted, but money is given.

I hate gentle hugs

But I don't think the others are prevalent on here. They're rightly ridiculed (I can't type them either)

"This is the script for what you must say, which I have taken it upon myself to write for you, with no other input."

I'd forgotten about that one.

Just how far up your own arse would you need to be to do that?

No?
As in 'you can get a job though , no ? '

Kicked off

I'll kick off.
She kicked off. 😵‍💫

Everything bad being vile or grim.

Oh my lovely or versions of that

Food and cooking terms. Bung, Chuck, grab

"Just that really".

When people list titles of classic threads to prove they are not a troll, then go on to post a normal topic anyway.

'Poo troll'

'Have a biscuit'

'I'll grab the popcorn'

'Get a cleaner' like it's something everyone can easily afford.

'consult your solicitor'. Do most people have a personal solicitor on speed dial?

OP - 'My dad died last night. He fell over a black kettle and died alone'
Poster - 'oh where was the kettle from - completely misses point of the thread' No, you understood the point of the thread, that's why you were able to identify that the comment was irrelevant.

'Leave him. Then he will have to look after the children and pay maintenance'. In an ideal world, yes. In reality he might not do any of these things.

When people state they've changed details to remain anonymous, they then make one slip up and some posters derail the whole thread by insinuating the poster is trolling.

'Paragraphs?' Or something along the lines of 'I gave up after the first two sentences'. Normally said after the poster has already noted that English isn't their first language, that they have dyslexia or they are clearly distressed. It's normally easy to get the gist of the thread so it just comes across as superior. Move on if you don't understand rather than putting the poster down.

Long story short. I just instantly stop reading. That's not the saying.

Usually said prescribed script is some smug, overwrought, patronising load of bollocks that would never survive first contact but you just know that the poster who wrote it was thinking "you know what, this is gold and will knock them dead".

Cocklodger

Get rid! - said a million times in every thread by a woman who's gone on a date with a man

Why are you getting so angry/upset? - said to a poster who's made a perfectly reasonable and sensible comment with no hint at all of being angry or upset

‘Boils my piss’ - I’ve only ever heard it on MN

‘i asked my husband and he said..’ - The poster then usually comes out with something virtuous like they’d never go to a strip club because the whole thing is grim, blaa blaa … Seriously, do fuck off with your husband Who cares what he thinks?

Perhaps not MN specific, but I see it on here all the time.

Whenever someone posts about something that went down with a meal, it's always "we were tucking into our meal". For some reason, the phrase "tucking in" really gets on my nerves! It just feels really twee and smug.
Why not just say "eating"?

‘I couldn’t get on with’ a book or film.

Everyone being ‘exhausted’, ‘on their knees’ or ‘working their arse off’. Because they……go to work.

Oh I forgot.

Anyone who replies to threads about what it’s like working long hours or earning a lot of money only to reveal they don’t do either……their husband does.

The ones that read like a weird formal letter from Dickensian times? I've often wondered whether the posters talk like that in real life when they just want their MILs to stop giving the kids crisps, or whatever.

A&E. Now.

Just that really.

Are you very young?

Food of the Gods.

I couldn’t get worked up about this.

Can’t you just get another job?

It's starting to seem like there is no form of words that doesn't annoy the hell out of someone.

“You don’t seem to like her very much” if anyone dares to have a difference of opinion with a friend. You can have endless screaming matches with your “D”H, but one argument with a friend in 20 years and you obviously hated her all along.

”It was ever thus”. I know it’s a traditional expression, but I only ever hear it from slightly wanky airy-fairy types on here.

Miffed - makes me unnecessarily angry every time I see it.

Twee - pathetic word

'handhold please' - also pathetic

The D abbreviation - just unnecessary, it's not hard to just say husband/sister/son.

The OP referring to people as 'person A, B, C, D' and generally working their way through the alphabet when telling a long and confusing story with lots of dialogue and characters.

TLDR/didn't read the full thread - but will give pointless/irrelevant advice which has already been given 20 times prior.

'a hobby/hobby group' - does your husband play golf or does he wrestle animals at the local zoo? Why so cryptic?

You sound unhinged!

LTB.

Simples.

Quite.

Don’t want to be outed.

10 minutes in the shower is too long.