To worry I sound boring

[milkonesugar35]

On paper.

If you were to judge me off this list solely, does it make me sound boring? I'm nearly 36, three kids , work full time btw...

T-total
Don't go out
In bed by 9
No specific hobby
Few friends

Instead...
I holiday abroad 2-3 times a year with husband and kids.
Walk the dog
Have days out with my kids
Enjoy my job
Get on well with colleagues

What more? You don’t do anything together, there is no romance, no sex. You just co exist and co parent. If your marriage is about much more, we aren’t the people to convince, your husband is.

I’d also say the poster clearly didn’t say it was dead simply due to lack of sex. But rhe whole pic.

but if you think it’s a thriving marriage then you need to convince your husband of that, not us, as he’s his foot out the door.

I think your marriage is dead because your DH has told you he finds you boring.

You are more concerned if others think you're boring, and not that your DH has told you he's not happy.

What is your marriage based on? You don't spend time alone together. You don't have sex. He thinks you're boring. It sounds pretty dead unless you think he's going to stay with you and keep being unhappy?

@Josette77 like most couples, our marriage is based on trust and respect. Not to mention the fact we have 3 children. They are and will always be priority.

Kindly OP, none of those things on their own will make a marriage last.

Your DH is telling you he’s unhappy- listen to him.

yes, “quite the catch” and a list of complaints demonstrates this admirably.

look op , you asked, you don’t need to listen to us or your husband. All people are telling uou is when your spouse, male or female. Starts to articulate they are unhappy, and treat you with disdain, then open communication on how to improve your marriage together is the way forward.

if you chose to not do this, that’s fine, but it’s highly the distance that is now appearing will continue to grow. And either result in separation or cheating.

Obviously this is primarily about your marriage and husband, but just answering the OP, I don't think anything on your first list is boring, unless it bores you, and the second list has some lovely things on it. The only thing I'd say is that I'm not sure I'd be happy with someone who 'never goes out', but from your second list it sounds like you do go out.

I think your second post should have been your OP to be honest.

Your list is fine if it satisfies you and works for your household. It’s clearly not. DH was maybe harsh in his wording for sure and I think that was mean, but surely it’s better he comes to you about it than silently seethe. Not a v positive approach though but he’s clearly frustrated!

Look I have 3 kids, I’m 34. So similar to you. Been married 12 years. We also probably have sex once a month if we’re lucky! Difference is we’re both dissatisfied with that but just soooo shattered. Sometimes you just have to make yourself have sex and you end up getting into it and don’t regret it (OBVIOUSLY you know where the line is re consent!) The key here is me and DH are both on the same page with that. It keeps things ticking over. We are both SO busy - I’m retraining, have 2 time consuming hobbies, youngest is 2, bigger kids have clubs and social lives, no family support. We often do at home date nights eg do an activity at home together. But you need to decide if you want to save the marriage. You sound in the doldrums. Do you think you should figure out how to feel more vibrant?

Maybe he is projecting. What is your DH doing with his life? Does he have hobbies and see friends regularly?

I’m guessing he’s not in bed by nine and doesn’t wish ti be celibate.

Is she the one going to bed at 9 because he is leaving her to get up with the DC whilst he is enjoying his sleep? Maybe he should be getting up with them at half 5 if he wants to see her more. Although it doesn’t sound like this is his complaint. It sounds like he may be feeling unfulfilled and blaming her.