Move to bigger house or stay near DD's friend

[SadWench]

We live in a nice house which we like and are so lucky that we have great neighbours who we all really like in a lovely cul de sac. Our DD5 has two close friends who live on the same street and we get along really well with their parents. The children play out together most days.

Our house is a bit small for us though - DH needs a home office, we need a spare room for visiting family and we would like to move about 2 miles away to be closer to the town centre.

The main thing keeping us where we are is our neighbours and community and I'm worried DD would hate to leave where we are now as she loves it. The upsides to moving would be more space and as DD gets older she could walk to things which she couldn't now. A few of her school friends live in the town so there would be people around as she got older but not that "open your front door and play with the neighbours" situation.

AIBU to consider moving in these circumstances?

Move!!

You are incredibly lucky to have DD friends on the same street. It's 2 miles not a different county.

She's 5 and will make plenty of friends along the way.

It's a very short hop for them to visit and vice versa.

I would not continue to live a in a family home you've outgrown for this reason.

I understand why you wish to stay and it’s the sense of community you feel where are - of belonging. Which IS precious especially with an only.

Can you build an office in the garden and put a futon on it? It can double up for both spaces?

Or extend into the loft: I would try to stay where I was happy and content in your position. Your dd won’t be walking into town by herself for another six/seven years or longer and in the meantime sounds very settled. If you are staying with one - you don’t need a bigger house per se - just an office with a futon.

I was going to say move but actually a community and playing out is a precious thing. I would stay 2 more years unless it was a real squeeze

I've read your updates and now I'm saying - stay!!

You have kind of changed your tune from 'we want to move but DDs friends' to 'we actually don't really want move'.

So don't move until she can walk to school by herself nearer town and activities. I'd say when she finishes primary.

Lots more time to save.

Garden office for DH that can be used as a spare room if you have the room and cash.

But it’s not just taking the 5 year old life into consideration it’s also op life that will be impacted if she moves. At the minute child can play safely and happily in the street with friends with maybe op just checking on them through window. If they are moving to a place where child can’t play out then for social interactions it will be trips to the park and op will have to go with child or arranged play dates - not saying either of these are a bad thing but at the minute she’s getting the benefit of both very easily, so op will have to weigh up if she thinks the change is worth it for the bigger house

We live in a 3 bed semi it is a large 1920’s one and has quite a big garden that is completely private size but did think about moving to a 4 bed. But the road I live in, well the neighbours are fab. People tend to buy and then stay for many years. The house next door did sell two years ago, our neighbours had been there for 15 years, we have been here 25 years and the other side has been here for 40 years. New neighbours are a lovely young couple with a baby which is nice as most of the road is 50 plus. People pay a big premium to live on our road. Most houses are much bigger than ours sort of 5 bed ones and one even has an indoor swimming pool.

I would stay and did. Consider a garden office for your DH a decent insulated one that you could even have a sofa bed in for guests.

DS used to play out with the neighbours children there were five houses here who all had children about the same age. Those children are now aged 23 to 28 and it’s been a pleasure watching them all grow up.

I live in a cul de sac just like this. My DD stopped playing out when she was about Year 6 aged 10.

I wanted more space so did an extension in the meantime.

Definitely on the move now though.

I would stay if I were you. At least for a few years. What you describe is hard to find elsewhere.

Get a cabin in the garden for a home office / spare room and if you still want to move in a few years to be closer to a town centre, do it then. Job done.

If you moved, which I think you should, two months later or whatever more people could move house and change the dynamic of who your child is near to. You need to put the needs of the adults above the needs of a 5 year old.

We moved area, DCs still went to the same primary but we were now a car ride away, we moved for space for Dh to work from home, in catchment for an incredible secondary and to a place that actually had local amenities.

Friendships change, job opportunities come up and people leave. Your DD should be able to make new friends over the next few years. From secondary we found far less playing out and more connecting online via headsets to talk through homework together or chat whilst gaming. Yes your DD is five but she won't be forever and houses may or may not become available.

Can you get a garden office and/or extend? Moving is so expensive

See which replies make your heart lift with agreement, OP, and that'll be your answer.

'From secondary we found far less playing out and more connecting online via headsets to talk through homework together or chat whilst gaming.'

To me, exactly the reason to stay put and keep her out playing while you can.

Go on Love it or List it with Kirsty and Phil!

Definitely look to extend your current home, knock down a few walls or go into the loft.

This, my DS played out right up to secondary school , and a bit beyond, it was priceless in my opinion. If the new house had children playing out, I might move though as she is young enough to slot in.

I think if you will need a bigger house nearer town when she gets older, I'd just wait until nearer that time. If you're all happy living where you are, in a close knit community, there's a lot to be said for that.

I think playing out in a cul-de-sac with nice local friends is very valuable, particularly for an only child, and not guaranteed if you move. I'd stay put a bit longer, and see how things pan out.