Humiliated by John Lewis staff

[FTMaz]

Hi
okay so I know this will seem very trivial to some but it is playing on my mind because I think I am a very reasonable and polite person and feel I was humiliated for absolutely no reason.

so I bought a jumper from a John Lewis store (Sweaty Beaty brand). The jumper was in the sale for £65. I wore it once and washed it according to the instructions. I put it on yesterday and my Mum commented that it had faded, the jumper is beige but I noticed it had a big white patch where the colour had seemingly ran out of it on the front. As I know John Lewis is known for their customer service I decided I would take it to the store to see if they would offer an exchange, I still had the receipt showing it had been purchased recently.

I went to the womenswear till but the queue was massive (I had my 12 week old baby with me) so I went to a till near the shoes. The girl serving must have been about 17/18. I explained to her what had happened and said I wasn’t sure if I could swap it but thought it was worth an ask. The girl was very polite but said she needed to check with a colleague, fine not a problem. She returned with a colleague who didn’t even acknowledge me. At this point there was a now a queue at the till. They both turned away from me and girl number 2 started whispering and inspecting the jumper. This probably went on for about 10 minutes. Girl number 1 then turned back to me and said something to the effect of I’m really sorry but I need to check with a manager…I assumed girl 2 was a manager but again I said okay. She then called someone on the phone. I continued to wait and at this point my baby started to cry, girl number 1 obviously feeling uncomfortable called again and apologised, again fine as not her fault that baby is crying or that manager is taking a long time. So eventually the manager turns up and calls me ‘sweetheart’ okay a term of endearment but I am a 34 year old professional so odd of her to do. Anyway…she inspects the jumper and says she can’t see the white patch, I said to her I couldn’t either until I went into natural light and my Mum pointed it out. At this point I am starting to feel agitated and embarrassed as there is a queue, my baby is crying and I am basically being told I’m making things up so I say ‘don’t worry about it for the sake of £60 I’ll just have the jumper back,’ she then says to go with her outside the store to natural light to show her the patch…seriously? I reply no it’s fine I’m not dragging my baby outside I’ll just have the jumper back. Again she insists I go outside with her and I again say it’s fine I’ll have the jumper back. She then turns to girl number 1 and says ‘you’ll come with me outside to look won’t you’ so they both then walk off and leave me at the till with my now screaming baby. Sometime later they return with ANOTHER member of staff, so now 4 people have looked at this bloody jumper! The manager says they all agree there is nothing wrong with it. Now I am quite frankly pissed off and humiliated and say ‘ I told you I would take the jumper back but instead I have been standing here whilst 4 people inspect it, I didn’t demand a refund I simply asked if it was possible to do anything such as an exchange.’ She replies there’s nothing wrong with it. So I say (probably wrongly so but I’d had enough) ‘if you go on my account you will see how much money I spend in this store, do you seriously think I would make things up to get back £60?’ She replies again there is nothing wrong with it.

for context I worked in retail for years both before starting university, during and after (the irony is I actually also worked in that John Lewis 😂) I get that it can sometimes be shit and people are rude but I was honestly lovely and feel I was humiliated and spoken to like an idiot.

However I am also overly tired from the sleepless nights….so AIBU to wait to complain to the store?

But you are accusing them of doing their jobs poorly. You're saying they humiliated you. I kind of think you did that to yourself, because you were stressed with a crying baby.

You have asked if you are being unreasonable and you are. IMO.

I've also noticed (as someone who spends a lot there so no, not a scammer) that JL used to be great at returns but are getting stingy and starting to question a lot, understandably so in this tight economy.

I think the irony is they probably thought they were giving you really good customer service / the benefit of the doubt, by going all the way outside. They were probably told to make a judgment call now that JL is getting a little stricter about returns, and took their role very seriously. If they really thought you were trying to milk them, they'd probably just have accepted the fact that you backed out, and they wouldn't have called over so many people to put the sweater under a microscope...

So in that sense I wouldn't blame them. But I think overall they lack discretion and tact. If the customer is clearly uncomfortable and wants to stop, then stop gathering more employees to further discomfit them in front of an audience, and stop insisting on making a big thing out of it!

Many luxury (not saying JL is luxury) stores do let staff look at a customer's account and decide what to do based on the customer's overall spending history. £65 loss (and they could've resold it to someone else anyway) to keep a loyal generous customer happy and spending more, why not?

Why not ask someone taller? 'excuse me, you couldn't just grab me a packet of those please? Thanks!' people are usually most happy to help, they are just not necessarily attuned to what others are doing every moment.

Why on earth didn't you ask the tall men passing by to lift down the nappies for you?

I asked a tall young man {I'm 5'8''} to reach some items down from the back of a top shelf in a supermarket, and he was only too pleased to help-

One has to be a bit proactive sometimes- people are usually very helpful if asked politely.

I've read all your responses, OP, but haven't read all the replies. John Lewis customer service is often non-existant. As you say, the first girl was polite and helpful, but had to get a manager to authorise a refund. The other members of staff who got involved handles the matter very poorly and I do think they should have given you a refund.

I know you bought it at John Lewis, but it may be worth an email to Swetty Betty Head Office to explain the issue. It probably won't get you anywhere, but they may send you a voucher as a goodwill gesture.

‘if you go on my account you will see how much money I spend in this store, do you seriously think I would make things up to get back £60?’ is basically the equivalent of "don't you know who I AM?!" with angry beetroot face. Cringing for you.

Ask the manufacturer for their advice. And go to customer service, not just a till.

Absolutely; I remember those days and I can’t imagine wanting to wonder through the shop, out of the building with a crying baby to further talk about the flipping jumper. The crying of a young baby on the Mother obviously has more of an anxiety inducing impact than at does on total strangers.

Yeah, look at me with my arthritic joints and in my mobility scooter in my 20s...

I think you're thinking of Shepherds Bush Westfield (which has an outside escalator) btw, not Stratford.

I think I was just too focused on get the nappies as quickly as possible. You kind of go into panic mode when you’re a new Mum (he was literally a few days old) and at that point my best option was to climb the shelves for them…clearly not!

If she left to go home she'd go home. If she left to inspect the jumper she'd leave the shopping centre and then return and then leave whens he wanted to gohome. Not the same thing at all.

I worked at JL years ago in my gap year. I kid you not, we refunded a lady whose (worn) jumper was the old Jonelle label from a good 20 years before.

That’s completely over the top of course, talk about CF behavior on the customer’s side…
I worked in a shop during my student years that offered a lifetime guarantee on jeans, they stopped doing it at some point though.
On another thread here someone mentioned the other day that they had run a shop for 30 years and how the 90s had been the golden age of retail.
Maybe back then stores could afford to be extra generous with their return policies.
If you look at how many big names have either gone out if business in the recent years or are now online only and how many shops are closing down in town centers, you would assume that retail is struggling quite a bit at the moment and can’t afford to issue refunds on worn clothing and/ or without checking it thoroughly first.

I suppose it's like how Amazon can afford to be really generous with no questions asked refunds now. Golden age of e-commerce

But my understanding is that the John Lewis staff didn't refuse to give a refund. They were asked to give a refund for a mark on a jumper that wasn't visible under the store's artificial lighting and which could only be seen in natural light. They were going to take the top outside to see the fault and would then presumably have decided whether to give a refund, but the OP decided to leave before they did this. I really don't see how JL could have given a refund on an item that did not appear faulty when they couldn't examine it under the circumstances where the mark would have been visible?

I have to say that I always find the customer service in John Lewis and Waitrose to be brilliant, and way better than most other shops.

For reasons I don’t understand some people - particularly women- get really offended and even quite aggressive when asked if they need help.

I do think in many ways society is becoming rather touchy and odd , and I don’t know if this is somehow tied up in an insecurity that the person offering assistance is being condescending or discriminatory or what.

Everyone seems to have such over-complicated stances or “ principles” and to indulge in pseudo psychology to the point of warping straightforward interactions. At times I suspect it’s dressed up in these philosophies but at it’s core it’s really just that people have got overly fond of mouthing off ( loads on here!) It’s the sort of verbal equivalent of “fart out loud.” After all, “why shouldn’t I!”

@Growlybear83 I thought when the two members of staff walked off together it was to take the jumper outside? Sorry if I made the wrong assumption. We do have different experiences of John Lewis though. I've never understood people who rave about how brilliant their customer service is because I've always found it appalling.

Back in the day John Lewis and dare I say it even M and S were a bit of a treat. Upmarket, classy, you get what you pay for and all that. Good fabrics, good designs, nice staff. Helpful, amenable.

All gone now. You might get a quick " no worries" if you are lucky.

I’d definitely make a formal complaint as you received appalling treatment. I’d also make a huge issue about being called ‘sweetheart’. This demeaning and patronising language is unacceptable regardless of the age of the person being addressed and needs to be challenged so it can hopefully be stamped out. I’m older than you and have encountered this a lot from shop assistants and have now got to the point where I’ll walk out and leave items at the check out if I’m addressed like this.

Round these parts its often abbreviated to " sweet" Urgh, Cringe.

I can remember finding old unworn Christmas presents from M&S and taking them back sometimes years later and getting a credit voucher, this was probably the 80s and 90s.

Ok but these are very clearly cases of you not seeking assistance or not seeing it through, rather than others not being helpful or trying to humiliate you.

People can't be expected to anticipate strangers' needs or fulfil their requests against work policy.

JL staff tried and you bailed. In the nappies example, you didn't even try.

People being unhelpful in a supermarket or on a train would be if they ignored a request or refused. Obviously if you'd collapsed on the floor that's different but apart from in emergencies, you are responsible for your own needs including seeking help where needed. I always offer help where it looks necessary but you can't see everything.

You've chosen to have a baby. It's not everyone else's responsibility to make it easier for you.

Yes, that’s true.

I we surprised when I returned some tights to Marks as my DD had tried them on but one pair was already laddered, I returned them on the off chance they would refund and they did without checking, I didn’t have a receipt as it was on DH’s card so they gave me a credit note.

Thank you! My aunt is 74 and it was her who first pointed it out to me. She said it happens to her a lot at her age and it winds her up. I then noticed how often people treated her like she needed looking after so to speak and it wound me up too!

I also find it quite overpriced for the quality. It’s not poor quality, but I often find better quality and certainly more stylish elsewhere for a similar price.

More recently I had children’s Easter gifts ( quite expensive decorative Easter confectionery) arrive broken on mail order as they were completely inadequately packaged. They were by this time out of stock so no replacement was possible . I got a refund but was left scrabbling about at the last minute to find equivalent gifts, so when all was said and done I was definitely left worse off and inconvenienced. I can’t say I have found their service to be anything exceptional.

Again, equally what is stopping you from showing empathy to others.

I think I was just raised very differently. I was always taught to be mindful of other people’s needs for example it was drilled into me as a child that is an elderly person needs a seat on public transport you offer it to them…not that you wait for them to ask. Some people feel awkward or embarrassed asking for help even if they need it.

unfortunately I think society has moved away from ‘village’ mentality and everyone is focused on themselves. No one is responsible for my baby and I didn’t say they were but I think general kindness and awareness are good human traits…maybe I continue to overestimate.