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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To forcibly ask why you pulled out?

394 replies

MyPeachLion · 01/05/2024 19:25

I am (was!) a cash buyer of a 900k property. We were due to exchange next week. And complete after 2 weeks. We went 30k above asking and 20k above another bidder. No other bidder was a cash buyer. We are about 10 weeks into the sale.

My solicitor informs me this afternoon that the seller pulled out with NO reason given.

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out? AIBU?

The estage agent did not even bother to inform me, despite the seller telling them last weekend that he was cancelling.

No chain on the seller's end - they have a new build they have already moved into! Seller moved out of their property early last week. We know because we visited the house for kitchen measurements last week!

I rang the EA this morning to get dates so I can get carpet quotes for next week and the EA was on board! Not once did he mention that the seller pulled out.

I am pissed off for not knowing why he pulled out, and for the EA to not inform me of it, and then proceed to play me like a fool by humouring my requests for carpet tradesmen to enter next week.
Were they meant to enter through the cat flap?

Again, is it unreasonable to just face this time-wasting seller and ask them why?

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 02/05/2024 12:43

TheOriginalEmu · 02/05/2024 12:35

Their new house could have suffered catastrophic damage.
their relationship could have broken down and they need another house for the other person to live in.
someone could have died and they suddenly need to look after a family member and that house is much more suitable.
they could have had a life changing injury and the new house is no longer suitable.

there are a million reasons that are horrible for the seller that would make the OP look a right prick of she went steaming round there all guns blazing.

she’s perfectly entitled to be upset and angry, but it doesn’t mean they’ve been deliberately shitty necessarily.

I would be getting a different EA though. They have been unprofessional.

Show quote history

I understand all of this. At a minimum, not conveying an apology for reneging on the agreement is just awful, however. Even if grieving, one can write a couple of lines for the EA to forward.

Do remember I am also against confrontation

chaticat · 02/05/2024 12:49

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out?

No you fucking can't. Leave them alone.

chaticat · 02/05/2024 12:50

They could have just been told they have months to live

BloodyHellKenAgain · 02/05/2024 13:00

YANBU
I'd be really hacked off as well OP. I wouldn't go round. I might say some choice words to the EA though.

As for pp saying you're entitled/self centred etc WTAF.
No one should treat someone like OP has been treated. The EA clearly new the seller had pulled out and was stringinal OP along.

I would have more sympathy for the seller if they and the EA had just been upfront about things.

I'm sorry this has happened to you OP.

Mirabai · 02/05/2024 13:04

It could have been a reluctant sale and they found a way to avert it or you were gazumped. Many reasons. Annoying but unfortunately all’s fair in love and conveyancing.

Ofcourseshecan · 02/05/2024 13:06

Sandwichgen · 01/05/2024 19:31

i imagine they have reprehensible accepted a higher bid. Let’s hope they have chosen similarly morally-challenged people to sell to who will try and cut the price at the last minute or post survey

I agree.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 02/05/2024 13:14

catwithflowers · 02/05/2024 10:08

This happened to us twice before we ended up buying our home a few years ago. The first time was a few days before exchange and the sellers told their agents they had changed their minds.

The second time (we were v pissed off with the agents at this one) the sellers pulled out after 7 months saying they had decided against moving but it turned out that they hadn't even instructed a solicitor which the agents must surely have known.

Both times we had paid for expensive £2k surveys as the houses were old. Plus solicitors fees. Naturally that money was simply lost.

You have my sympathy OP. It feels such an unfair system ☹️

Was the name of the solicitor not on the memo of sale? This is one of the first things you get

Beddgelert · 02/05/2024 13:15

Higher offer. Much higher offer.

fungipie · 02/05/2024 13:17

Gazumping I imagine. But there is little you can do. The English way of buying and selling is just dire and unfair.

When we were selling, the buyer asked for a huge amount off the price, after everything agreed for months, just after we signed our contract. We told him to (lots of *) - but it was devastating.

Combattingthemoaners · 02/05/2024 13:19

Wasn’t sure what direction this thread was going in from just the title! 😕

MimiGC · 02/05/2024 13:20

This happened to me about 20 years ago. I had to pull out of buying a house, because I lost the buyer for the house I was selling and the chain collapsed. The man I had been hoping to buy from came round one evening (thinking back on it I don't even know how he got my address...the EA I suppose). He said he was desperate to sell, offered to reduce the price and asked if I would consider getting a bridging loan to enable me to proceed. I really wanted his house, so that's what I did. It all worked out well and I am grateful he did come round, though I was a bit taken aback at the time. He wasn't at all pushy or aggressive, just offered a solution.

AnxietyLevelMax · 02/05/2024 13:21

I was expecting something different when i saw the tittle😂😂😂😂

ChickyBricky · 02/05/2024 13:21

Personally I'd just firebomb the house!

HCHQ · 02/05/2024 13:31

NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/05/2024 19:28

They don't owe you an explanation.

But I'm sure your massive wad of cash will get you something soon.

ouch! (but funny!)

TempersFuggit · 02/05/2024 13:37

This happened to us once, very upsetting, but the ‘vendor’ did send us a cheque to cover our legal fees which was decent of her.

haveaniceday321 · 02/05/2024 13:52

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out?

Urrrrrrrrrm NO

BigButtons · 02/05/2024 14:00

The system in England is shit and not fit for purpose. Sellers who pull out for no good reason should have to pay a penalty and repay the legal fees for their purchaser. Sellers should be responsible for the surveys on their properties- I believe they have to do this in Scotland?

Netball01 · 02/05/2024 14:07

@BigButtons absolutely agree with this ! It’s hard enough saving up for a deposit as it is. When the sellers pulled out of selling their house to us, we lost thousands of pounds which equated to months of savings. So depressing and I do think a financial penalty would make people think twice about if they really want to sell.

Waspeater · 02/05/2024 14:13

MyPeachLion · 01/05/2024 19:25

I am (was!) a cash buyer of a 900k property. We were due to exchange next week. And complete after 2 weeks. We went 30k above asking and 20k above another bidder. No other bidder was a cash buyer. We are about 10 weeks into the sale.

My solicitor informs me this afternoon that the seller pulled out with NO reason given.

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out? AIBU?

The estage agent did not even bother to inform me, despite the seller telling them last weekend that he was cancelling.

No chain on the seller's end - they have a new build they have already moved into! Seller moved out of their property early last week. We know because we visited the house for kitchen measurements last week!

I rang the EA this morning to get dates so I can get carpet quotes for next week and the EA was on board! Not once did he mention that the seller pulled out.

I am pissed off for not knowing why he pulled out, and for the EA to not inform me of it, and then proceed to play me like a fool by humouring my requests for carpet tradesmen to enter next week.
Were they meant to enter through the cat flap?

Again, is it unreasonable to just face this time-wasting seller and ask them why?

I think you’re entitled to an explanation, I am sick of modern culture where by something doesn’t suit someone so they think it’s ok to blank you. Turn up at their door and slap them in the face with a wet fish if you need to.

DriftingDora · 02/05/2024 14:16

SurelySmartie · 02/05/2024 00:43

How did you get £900k?

Typing errors - the full stop was left out and extra character added. Should have been £9.00. 😉 They'd emptied the 5p jar in the kitchen.🙄

Penguinfeet24 · 02/05/2024 14:23

YABVU, this was a business transaction and the decided not to go ahead, that's it. No one owes you an explanation as to why they decided not to sell you the house, it is their property and they decided not to, its that simple.

Cem82 · 02/05/2024 14:33

Happened to my uncle over 20 years ago - house prices in the area surged and in the weeks before he was due to move in sellers cancelled. He took it to court - took about 2 years to be settled, in the meantime house prices were twice the price, judge found it was a breach of contract and it had to be sold at the price he was buying it for so the sellers took a big hit for being greedy and having the house stuck in litigation for so long (they were property developers so the place was empty in that time). Deposits etc had already been paid and it was the 11th hour the owners tried to pull out.

Similar thing happened to a friend a few years back - she was buying a lovely big apartment and the sellers kept delaying things and then pulled out just before she was due to move in - they put in on the market again a month later and sold for much more. They cost her 6 months at a time prices were going up at speed so she ended up having to buy a much smaller place in a less nice location - she didn’t go the legal route as she just wanted to have a place to move into quickly.

CroftonWillow · 02/05/2024 14:39

I get the feeling quite a lot of posters are pleased you've lost time, money and energy on this deal. They feel you've been chopped down a peg or two.

If it would make you feel better I'd knock on the door and politely ask for a reason. You never have to see them again after that.

Tuftedandbusted · 02/05/2024 14:52

It is frustrating OP...who knows why, maybe decided not to sell, maybe someone else offered more. Off to greener pastures. Keep an eye on right move / zoopla to satisfy your curiosity in the coming months.

LBFseBrom · 02/05/2024 14:58

CroftonWillow · 02/05/2024 14:39

I get the feeling quite a lot of posters are pleased you've lost time, money and energy on this deal. They feel you've been chopped down a peg or two.

If it would make you feel better I'd knock on the door and politely ask for a reason. You never have to see them again after that.

I haven't read every post on the thread, it is nine pages long, so I don't know but you and I are not pleased. It's beyond me why anybody would be pleased!

It is very stressful for the op and I feel sorry for her. She will move on from it, especially when another house is found and secure, but just now it hurts and she needs our support.

If she knocked on the door of the house she has lost, she might not get an answer and if she does, it may not be the truth. I don't think that would be a good idea. She could write them a letter and hope for a reply. Best to move on, though, cut her losses.