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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To forcibly ask why you pulled out?

394 replies

MyPeachLion · 01/05/2024 19:25

I am (was!) a cash buyer of a 900k property. We were due to exchange next week. And complete after 2 weeks. We went 30k above asking and 20k above another bidder. No other bidder was a cash buyer. We are about 10 weeks into the sale.

My solicitor informs me this afternoon that the seller pulled out with NO reason given.

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out? AIBU?

The estage agent did not even bother to inform me, despite the seller telling them last weekend that he was cancelling.

No chain on the seller's end - they have a new build they have already moved into! Seller moved out of their property early last week. We know because we visited the house for kitchen measurements last week!

I rang the EA this morning to get dates so I can get carpet quotes for next week and the EA was on board! Not once did he mention that the seller pulled out.

I am pissed off for not knowing why he pulled out, and for the EA to not inform me of it, and then proceed to play me like a fool by humouring my requests for carpet tradesmen to enter next week.
Were they meant to enter through the cat flap?

Again, is it unreasonable to just face this time-wasting seller and ask them why?

OP posts:
SiobhanSharpe · 02/05/2024 10:32

I understand completely but it's unreasonable of you to confront them and almost certainly won't do anything to change the outcome.
I reckon they have indeed had a higher offer but in that case I would expect the EA to tell you, in case you could match or better it. Bit of a puzzle.

SiobhanSharpe · 02/05/2024 10:46

We had a situation where we (cash buyers) put in a higher offer on a house. They already had a lower offer which they had not accepted.
Our offer was 30k higher but the EA came back and told us they were going with the lower offer. No reason given, but OK...
About three weeks later the EA contacted us again to say the house was "unexpectedly" available again and were we still interested.
No chance, pal.
By then we had made an offer on another property. But even if we hadn't I doubt we would have gone back to the first house, we'd be wary of the owners.

Mumtofourandnomore · 02/05/2024 10:54

This happened to us just before exchange, and eight years later, I still feel rage ! Even though we actually ended up somewhere better.

It is part of the process of buying a house in this country - people can just mess around with no commitment. It doesn’t help that EAs are universally spineless liars.

I bet they’ve either accepted a higher offer, or have sold it to a friend/family member instead and were just testing the market at the price point.

Good luck with your next house purchase.

Netball01 · 02/05/2024 10:58

Hmm some people giving you a hard time here or being sanctimonious have clearly never been in your situation OP! I felt exactly the same as you when it happened to us on exchange day. I’m the least confrontational person ever but I wanted to bang on the door demanding answers / compensation from all the money we lost in surveys, lost stamp duty break etc.

The very minimum a seller pulling out should do is provide an explanation - but let’s be honest if it was a valid reason (like family illness) then they’d have probably offered one already. It’s a really shitty to do to someone and deep down they will know that. Selfish cowards.

OP - I only really moved on from it when we found somewhere else to buy which actually suited us even more than the house we lost. I also took great satisfaction in watching the people who pulled out relist their house for £100k more (far above what it was worth) a few months later. And then it sit on the market for months & months while they kept reducing it until they eventually took it off & they’re still there now. There’s also been building works non stop by that house for the past couple of years which I know from a friend who lives in the area has been super disruptive. So I like to think Karma has been served 😈

mitogoshi · 02/05/2024 11:00

There's many reasons why this can occur, sudden change of circumstances, job falling through and the place they were buying falling through (people say no chain when there is )

CommentNow · 02/05/2024 11:10

And what really pisses me off with your question about going round to give an earful is that if you knew with certainty that it was a house full of police officers or big blokes you wouldnt dare.

You want to feel like the big alpha and intimidate someone and its pure nasty.

willWillSmithsmith · 02/05/2024 11:10

StormingNorman · 01/05/2024 19:42

There seems to be some resentment towards you for buying an expensive house in cash. In my opinion, mazel for having that much cash to hand. You’ll never meet a hater who’s a step ahead of you 😂

If you were buying a 90k or 9m house my response would be the same - go and face the prick.

They are legally entitled to pull out of the deal, but after wasting your time and money you deserve an explanation. Even if it’s something shitty like the market’s warming up and they want to hold on for a better offer.

The seller and the EA are spineless little cunts hiding behind the skirts of their lawyer. Go round there and let them be accountable for their decision.

As much as you or OP would want to you cannot possibly go round to someone’s house demanding answers on things that are not illegal. I’d be as furious as the OP but this would be ridiculous.

goldenretrievermum5 · 02/05/2024 11:17

EnglishBluebell · 02/05/2024 08:36

The definition of harassment is a PATTERN of unwanted behaviour. Not one lone instance

Show quote history

Incorrect - good try though!

Manxexile · 02/05/2024 11:18

If you'd pulled out of the purchase before exchange of contracts, would you be happy for the seller to come round to your house and "forcibly" demand to know why you'd pulled out?

NoraBattysCurlers · 02/05/2024 11:28

Seller moved out of their property early last week. We know because we visited the house for kitchen measurements last week!

I rang the EA this morning to get dates so I can get carpet quotes for next week and the EA was on board! Not once did he mention that the seller pulled out.

A wild guess.

You annoyed the seller with your requests for access to the house before you owned it. They found you to be quite pushy, but they needed your £900k wad of cash and didn't say no.

A better offer has been made directly to the seller. The seller is now delighted to pull out of the deal and take the other offer.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/05/2024 11:33

Lilacdew · 02/05/2024 09:38

Estate Agents are there to act as buffers between seller and buyer. So you can call them and demand an explanation. There have been cases where people have sued for costs incurred where the sellers are time wasters. If you spent a fortune on solicitors and surveys, you could consider that.

It is so rude to pull out so soon before exchange with no reason given. But go via the agent, don't doorstep them!

You can’t sue for costs unless contracts have been exchanged. At that point anyone who pulls out of the sale is liable for the other party’s costs and possibly compensation. But as mentioned upthread, the seller would probably still be liable for the EA fees because they introduced a buyer willing and able to proceed - at the 2% charged by the average EA that’s £18000 + VAT.

frankentall · 02/05/2024 11:55

RazzlePuff · 02/05/2024 10:07

Estate agents not going to tell you the truth. EA may have put thru another client. Do not with them again.

Fairly sure Estate Agents are obliged to put any offer received to the seller.

Nanny0gg · 02/05/2024 12:11

NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/05/2024 19:28

They don't owe you an explanation.

But I'm sure your massive wad of cash will get you something soon.

Wow!

What was the need for that?

You have no idea why the OP is a cash buyer. Or is it the fact that she's in the market for such a property that's a problem to you?

Nanny0gg · 02/05/2024 12:12

HumanRightsAreHumanRights · 01/05/2024 19:38

Nobody owes you an explanation, nothing they say is going to be something you want to hear, the world doesn't revolve around you and if you are going to 'forcibly' harass the owners then you are massively unreasonable.

Move on, it's just a house.
It's not like your budget is so small you won't be able to find another property.

How much has the OP already wasted spent?

OutlawZeroHours · 02/05/2024 12:12

Disappointing, time wasting and expensive as this is, how will knowing the reason move you forwards in this situation? Better to spend the time looking for something else.

AdoraBell · 02/05/2024 12:12

YABU. While it is frustrating the owner is not obliged to give you the reason for not continuing.

LBFseBrom · 02/05/2024 12:14

I am so sorry and can understand your disappointment. All I can say is it will pass and something else will turn up, possibly even better. However, that is no comfort to you at the moment.

Unfortunately, you have no rights in this situation and nobody owes you an explanation. There must have been a very good reason for the vendor to pull out so late in the day.

Good luck with your next bid.

isthesolution · 02/05/2024 12:14

No you can't do that and you probably know you can't.

You are right to be annoyed of course but there's nothing you can do.

Maybe they won the lottery and will keep both houses, maybe they've had someone offer to rent it, maybe someone in their family died - there's so many reasons and none of them change your situation. Start looking for something else.

poetryandwine · 02/05/2024 12:21

astarsheis · 02/05/2024 10:02

Oh sour 😂

Show quote history

Sorry, @astarsheis but I am completely baffled by this comment. Could you please explain it

Anonymous2025 · 02/05/2024 12:28

Go for it , what do you have to loose ? Obviously politely and in a nice way

Inyournewdress · 02/05/2024 12:30

You are definitely not owed an explanation of any kind. So I would certainly not ask. What you should be is informed as soon as possible and the estate agent is outrageous for not doing that.

Inyournewdress · 02/05/2024 12:32

Ps you could ask the estate agent though, but they may not know or be willing to share.

Lookingoutside · 02/05/2024 12:34

I wouldn’t do that. You might end up with a slap or worse.

Move on and enjoy looking for something else.

TheOriginalEmu · 02/05/2024 12:35

poetryandwine · 01/05/2024 19:52

The OP said in her initial post that the sellers have moved out already. They aren’t postponing for reasons of health, bereavement, their finances, etc.

I agree she should not confront them but considering this information it was a shitty thing for them to di, and the EA has been a coward

Their new house could have suffered catastrophic damage.
their relationship could have broken down and they need another house for the other person to live in.
someone could have died and they suddenly need to look after a family member and that house is much more suitable.
they could have had a life changing injury and the new house is no longer suitable.

there are a million reasons that are horrible for the seller that would make the OP look a right prick of she went steaming round there all guns blazing.

she’s perfectly entitled to be upset and angry, but it doesn’t mean they’ve been deliberately shitty necessarily.

I would be getting a different EA though. They have been unprofessional.

Gonners · 02/05/2024 12:39

@MyPeachLion - Maybe their new build is crumbling within a week and they need to move back while it's repaired or while they sue the developer. Having seen what's going up locally, that wouldn't surprise me.