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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery hair dilemma

31 replies

mfbx5sf3 · 01/05/2024 18:29

2 year old dd has wild corkscrew curls. They grow up rather than down so her total hair length is only collar bone when dry (half way down her back when wet). It does tend to get in her face so every day before nursery I will plait it back/ do pigtails/ buns/ pony tail/ clips- various styles to move it back from her face- using soft bobbles and snap hair clips. I’m assuming that throughout the day it must work loose as every time she comes back from nursery it seems to have been tightly braided into intricate plaits that are bound with a small cheap plastic bobbles that I cannot get out of her hair as they are wound in so much. I am sick of spending 15 mins each evening battling an angry toddler/ trying to pick her hair out so we can bathl her. AIBU to ask the nursery to either leave her alone or tie it loosely back in the nice soft bobbles have sent her in with?

OP posts:
Footinturf · 01/05/2024 18:33

In my nursery they take the girls hair things out for naps, but they use the same ones to put it back up after the nap. I'd definitely ask them to tie it back loosely, maybe send in a packet of your hair ties?

Booksoverbros · 01/05/2024 18:35

Citrus essential oils or tea tree will dissolve the little plastic bands...

But I worked in a nursery and would of had no issues with a parent politely asking we do something different.

If it is causing you a hassle then you are perfectly entitled to speak up!

This may or may not be the case with your nursery, but often doing hair is a convenient way to get out of clean up times lol.

Used to give me the rage.

JacksonAverysEyes · 01/05/2024 18:39

This happened in my child’s nursery. In our case, it was because one of the staff liked playing with her hair because ‘it’s so gorgeous and curly’. I was not impressed and spoke to them about this. The white children all went home with the same hairstyle as they arrived with and it was only my daughter whose hair changed. I explained very politely all the reasons why they shouldn’t be messing with her hair and it didn’t happen again.

Alwaysalwayscold · 01/05/2024 18:40

I think you need to have a conversation with them. Obviously the styles you're doing are not lasting which is annoying and you should do something else with her hair or try a headband instead. They're also not mind readers so unless you ask them not to use elastics then they won't know not to.

Readingsloth · 01/05/2024 18:41

Yes if it was falling out you’d expect them just to pop it back up again, not faff around with intricate plaits!
Re the little plastic bobbles, I use those quite a lot in my daughter’s hair and just snap them to get them out. Saves the tugging and the tangling.

PotatoPudding · 01/05/2024 18:44

I think you need to find bobbles and styles that stay in her hair. I don’t think they are unreasonable to find a solution to stop her hair falling in her face as long as they’re giving you your original bobbles back.

Have you tried invisibobble?

ChaosMoon · 01/05/2024 18:45

It sounds like her hair may need braiding more tightly to get it to last the day, but you might need to find something more suitable to secure it. Your bobbles are too soft, so they're coming out. Theirs aren't soft enough, so they're getting stuck and risk damaging her hair.

Definitely talk to them, but I think you might also need to explore some alternatives.

Pin0cchio · 01/05/2024 18:54

Clips are a bit pointless in soft toddler hair, as is tying it loosely - toddlers play very physically and it will just come out all the time.

You need to tie it securely with bobbles. Can you french plait it? This is the best way to keep it in. They won't want it loose because it will end up full of craft stuff, food, at risk of nits etc, othee kids will end up pulling it by mistake.

Pancakefam · 01/05/2024 19:00

You cut the plastic ties out

Original poster
mfbx5sf3 · 01/05/2024 19:01

So I have used a variety of bobbles myself- ranging from soft cotton to springy rubber to the tiny plastic ones. But it always seems to not be enough to last the day (even with French braids) and she always returns tightly braided with different bobbles. I don’t get the bobbles or clips back/ I assume they vanish into the same pit the socks live in- which I’m ok with. It’s more the fact I just can’t get their bobbles out without ripping and pulling her hair and it’s making bath time 10 x more stressful.

OP posts:
threeisacharm18 · 01/05/2024 19:02

I do 2 pig tails or two cornrows and my kids will systematically unpick it all. The nursery used to tie the pigtails so tight I'd have to cut the hair band out. You've reminded me to speak to them about it

Original poster
mfbx5sf3 · 01/05/2024 19:02

I will look into cutting them out in future. I assumed they were meant to pull out.

OP posts:
Topjoe19 · 01/05/2024 19:04

This would stress me out so much!! What about a plastic hair band to keep it off her face? Then it just needs sliding in. I appreciate this may not work though. Other than that, I would definitely speak to them about it.

Hermanfromguesswho · 01/05/2024 19:05

Does her hair style fall out after a day of playing at home? I’m wondering if a staff member at nursery is taking it out on purpose because she enjoys doing the intricate braids. Worth saying something for sure!!

Original poster
mfbx5sf3 · 01/05/2024 19:08

It stays in at home- although the clips definitely help hold back the strands that come loose and I may reclip throughout the day. She won’t wear a headband. I’ve tried a few and she takes them straight off. Thanks for all the tips though.

OP posts:
WeightoftheWorld · 01/05/2024 19:11

You do need to speak the nursery to find out what's going on here because it could be any of a number of things. Is the hairdo coming out itself over the course of the day? Or is DC taking it out themself? Or are staff taking it down for a sleep/another reason, or are they taking it out just because they like her hair and enjoy doing it up...? And then go from there depending on what they tell you.

CelesteCunningham · 01/05/2024 19:22

Speak to them. It must take ages to do it that tightly and probably not overly comfortable for your DD, I wouldn't be happy either.

2chocolateoranges · 01/05/2024 19:25

I would send hair baubles that you use into nursery with her and ask them to just tie her hair like you do with her own baubles, explaining that they way they do it makes it difficult in the evening to take out.

we have so many girls who start of with beautiful hair and within hours he baubles lost and the hair is hanging in the paint, in the water and in the mud too!

JustdontknoW2do · 01/05/2024 21:47

Cut the bobbles out i invested in nail scissors specifically for the tiny bobbles as i had a very sensitive scalp little girl.

Ketakones · 01/05/2024 21:58

Same problem here and my child has straight fine hair - but still a pain to get those elastics out! I have taken to snapping them as well so as to save ripping chunks of hair out with the elastic. My child nearly always has a different hairstyle than what she was sent in. I asked and they said the kids are playing hair dressers or asked for a different style etc. Definitely ask if they could use the lovely soft bobbles you send her with or perhaps they will have another solution (and that sock pit - 😅 )

WorriedMama12 · 01/05/2024 22:03

Yes, those little plastic bobbles are meant to be cut out. I too was pulling them out of my poor daughters hair before I realised this.

purser25 · 01/05/2024 22:10

When I worked in a nursery there were always some of the younger staff who would play with the children’s hair. Used to really irritate me. Children don’t go to nursery to sit and have their hair done. They should be playing and the younger staff should be interacting with all children not just a select few. If it had been one of my children I would have been very irritated

AlltheFs · 01/05/2024 22:27

Oh god I’d be livid on so many fronts, but using disposable plastic hair bands would be number 1. Have they absolutely zero idea about sustainability?!

Definitely tell them to only use what you send. Kids hair gets messy, it’s really not important that it’s neat. The next time you pick her up with them in ask them to remove them before you leave.

I have had to have a billion conversations to please use her wet bag and not disposable nappy bags for wet clothes. No single use plastic shite thank you.

Some nursery staff do seem to like pissing about with hair. Then at the same time they moan about how busy it is…..

Hankunamatata · 01/05/2024 22:33

Citrus based essential oils will dissolve bands and let them snap easily

rainyskylight · 01/05/2024 22:34

sometimes my DD comes back with a different hair style and it’s because a group of the girls have been playing hairdressers with one of the carers. It’s another activity to pass time. One of them did crazy tiny tight plaits, no idea how her fingers managed!

could it be something like this? I think just have an open conversation with them - is her hair falling out and having to be redone (could be for a nits policy) or do many of the girls have their hair redone? Either way please be careful and use the hairbands she came with or the spares in her bag. etc etc.