DP no longer wants S

[Whatinthedoopla]

My DP has not been proactive in trying to have S, and just doesn't want to do anything anymore. I asked him, and he said it's because he is scared of getting me pregnant again.

In truth, it would destroy us having another baby, mentally and physically it would, and we had a scare about a month ago, and he said this traumatized him.

Could this be the case?

Me too! 🤣

Can’t get pregnant if you have A S!

There are ways of being sexually intimate without penetration don't forget

When trying not to get pregnant I never relied solely on condoms. Probs need to look at other, long term options

Why haven’t you looked into other forms of contraception if you are agreed that a pregnancy is a bad idea?

Can you say what part of the world you are in, OP?

Most of the posters on here are from the UK, and probably in England, where contraception (many types) and early termination is more available than it is elsewhere, even in some parts of the US now.

Or are you also from the UK, and having difficulties accessing NHS services that might help? There are helpful boards on here btw other than 'AIBU' e.g. about contraception and women's health, and relationships.

Looks like you need this, @Whatinthedoopla. Along with an E and X key for your keyboard.

https://www.nhs.uk/contraception/methods-of-contraception/

@Whatinthedoopla and what are his reasons for not sorting out a vasectomy or discussing this with you before letting it become an issue? Is he very avoidant about dealing or discussing things in general?

One of the absolute joys of MN is you can use pretty much whatever fucking language you want.

Same here! So glad it is just SEX that the husband doesn't want.
@Whatinthedoopla Men can be terrified of getting lumbered with another pregnancy - He should get a vasectomy.

Being freed from worries of unwanted pregnancy can make them a lot more relaxed.

TeaAndG
''Why would another baby be that terrible?''

Er...Because they are expensive,{childcare} put a huge strain on relationships and the op clearly doesn't WANT another!

It's only been a month.

Give him a bit of time the suggest oral?
After 2 months of nothing a blow job would be good good for him.

What is an I?

I’m assuming I means implant (type of contraception).

Tell him to get the snip. It's liberating for both of you. My partner did this about 6 years ago.

If no kids on the card again at all - he should get the snip. If you may consider more children in future - various contraception methods to try. Whilst obviously the most effective form of avoiding pregnancy sex at all long term in a loving relationship really isn’t healthy unless it’s something you both happily agree too it, so other options besides just condoms should be looked into.

I have a lot of sex but I really think that if I thought 'having another baby would destroy us' and pregnancy scares were happening it would put me off having sex too.

I'd do something about it though.

What did you say when he said he was scared of you becoming pregnant again?

Can he get a vasectomy?

Or can you get sterilised?

Well do something about it then, don’t just ignore it and hope it will go away. Tell him if he’s that bothered to book a vasectomy.

Why don’t you believe him? It sounds entirely plausible.

me too

Have sex without penetration? Is he open to a vasectomy?

How many posts do you see on here that say if a man doesn't want a baby they shouldn't have sex. If anyone doesn't want sex that should be fine. No-one should be pressured woman or man.

You could have a coil fitted or go on the pill. If he's adamant he doesn't want any more children, a vasectomy would be a simple procedure for him.