People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

That’s their choice isn’t it, to have 6 children? Does anybody believe in any level of personal accountability on here or are adults just large children?

Eh, some people have gardens, some don't. Nothing to do with disability or human rights.

If you are a wheelchair user who has a garden, doing the gardening is very difficult or impossible unless your house and garden is fully adapted.

Except Gen X are the ones commiting suicudes at high rates

When they were in their 20s and 30s, the highest suicide rate was in that age group, but as Gen X aged, the suicide rate didn't stay highest in the 20 to 30 age group instead it followed them, so was the highest in the 30 to 40s and then the 40s to 50s

So whilst Gen X might be the most resilient in your family, the generation as a whole is having some issues unfortunately

Cleaners don’t deal with mess. They clean. You can be the tidiest person in the world but you’ll still use dishes, mould will build up in the shower, your bath will get dirty when you use it, floors will get grubby and dust will gather. Disabled people can’t stop these things happening.

And for what it's worth, I do feel very much for the OP and the other posters currently in the pre-breakdown stage. Been there, done that.

I earnestly hope something changes for them, and they don't progress to actual breakdowns.

She said I couldnt have been as bad as him.

Maybe you weren't as bad @Rumors1. Who knows? It's difficult to quantify. Even if you were as bad, maybe you have different, or 'better', coping mechanisms. It's not a failing in him not to be able to handle things in the same way as you. That expression 'took to the bed' is absolutely horrible. It's used for people who are overreacting or faking how ill they are. I honestly think your issue here is your sister's lack of empathy for you, rather than whether your brother-in-law was worse than you. Maybe lack of empathy runs in the family.

Where I live there are no council flats, only council houses with gardens

And as for the "they just have to find a way to solve their own issues" - they are, with gardeners and cleaners.

Let's not forget, once again, that PIP is an in work benefit. Do you sneer at the people you work with who have cleaners or just the disabled people?

I’m in a flat, disability adapted, that has a garden. So, now you want disabled to move home to avoid gardens?🤷‍♀️

For goodness sake.🙄

There has to be a line somewhere between what is a human right and what is a luxury

@GoodnightAdeline will be very cross to know that many more enlightened social services departments do not view access to a person's garden a luxury, but something that can be essential to well being.

We were provided with equipment to allow my DH to get out into the garden.

If it’s essential to well-being should people who live in flats be offered a garden?

I felt like that...that I had no choice but to keep going. Until that choice was taken away from me and I had a mental breakdown and was sectioned and hospitalised for a long time.

So what I'd be saying is if you really genuinely feel like you are about to have a breakdown to seek urgent help immediately. Otherwise you could be separated from your DC for months or longer. But if you're not at that point where you think you will soon be hospitalised then, I would say you don't really understand what it is like to have an actual mental breakdown.

People use the word breakdown quite flippantly. I hear people say I've had 3 breakdowns this week or whatever. If you have a proper breakdown you don't recover quickly enough from it to have 2 more in the same week. It takes many months or even years.

I hope you are ok and you can get the help you need to deal with this.

For goodness sake indeed..

It appears from reading PP that individuals with mortgages are more inclined to continue working, likely because benefits don't cover mortgage payments, putting their homes at risk. Meanwhile, renters receive benefits to cover rent, making not working a more viable option. This suggests that when the risk of losing everything is greater, people are more motivated to work.

If the safety net of rent coverage were removed, more individuals might suddenly find the motivation to seek employment. I think putting a 12-month cap on the length of time you claim benefits (for mild mental/physical health conditions) would motivate people to find a resolution to their health issues and look for work.

@marshmallowmix I'm disabled and live in social housing, I pay rent. Could you tell me more about these free houses please? They sound great!

DD has anxiety and says work really helps as she's always so busy (care assistant) that she doesn't have the time to be anxious.

The thing is if you actually have a mental breakdown you are likely to be sectioned and in hospital so no choice to stop work despite the mortgage!

People often cite ‘not all disabilities you can see’ and how ignorant horrible etc but most want the system to support those with disabilities and not those with anxiety as the vast majority of the nation have anxiety

I agree. I have the feeling that often those are the same ones who tell people like OP she’s unsympathetic and doesn’t understand, and that she’s okay because she’s still able to work, even though she’s explained how much she’s struggling.
So they’re berating others for ignoring invisible disabilities, while basically doing the same thing themselves.
I do think it’s a very complex issue and I fully believe that some people are completely incapacitated by the state of their mental health.
Some people seem to think that there’s a clear line between “able” and “disabled” though, and if you’re still functioning you’re basically okay, and I just don’t think it’s that clear cut.

Alternatively, don't punish people who have a mortgage by forcing them to risk psychotic break by forcing them to stay in work when they are unwell

Oh for goodness sake. Read what I said.

I work with people with disabilities and some absolutely cannot clean and tidy, so without support, they would “live in a tip”. Most of them don’t have gardens but if they cannot maintain the basics in the inside of their home, we find ways to help them.

Read my post - I said 'mild'.

I had a breakdown 25 years ago and I managed to heal at home with the support of family, it depends on the circumstances. I also got back to work 3 months later. I realise not everyone has the support of family and everyone's situation is unique. But I do think there are a lot of people who could work but don't and I do not think my way of thinking is a minority view.

Massively agree.

There are a group of posters on here though who seem to devote huge amounts of time writing very lucid posts every day about their to right to be on benefits because of severe MH, what more they feel they should be entitled to, complaining about the support they think they’re not getting while berating people who do work and pay their benefits for struggling themselves and telling them they ‘don’t know how hard it is’.

It’s only natural people will get very peed off with this after a while, sorry

Do you have a psychiatrist or CPN? You need to be honest about how you are feeling. You may need your medication reviewed or some extra support put in place? You clearly need a break too. Please take this seriously because if you have a breakdown you will lose much more than your home and your business.

Lol that would be right for my generation then, say nothing, get on with it and impact as few people as possible.