People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

Exactly, they aren’t.

The irony of listing out a bunch of circumstances and then dismissing the one mental health issue they did actually mention (substance abuse)

YANBU. I'm sorry for everyone on this thread really struggling. I remember many years ago I was crumbling with work pressure and was having panic attacks and some other stuff, looking back it was some sort of burnout and depression. I remember considering injuring myself to get time off but couldn't afford it, I remember thinking if the injury was enough to make me disabled i might get enough benefits to pay the rent. Its a sickening thought now but thats how bad i was. I would lie in bed when I got home from work til I left again and sometimes spend an entire weekend in bed. In the midst of it all a relation who had never worked and whose adult kids had left 10 years earlier talked about how down she felt and spent all day sitting around being depressed. I remember thinking you lucky bitch.

Yep. Regularly have panic attacks in work and my manager intervened recently when I was stood frozen in a trance with a huge box in my hand. I'd zoned out. It's a coping mechanism.

And yet still I go. Because I have no bloody choice and in all honesty I'd be worse if I didn't. I'd be lying in bed feeling sorry for myself which is what I spent years doing. Doing nothing and getting nowhere. It wasn't good or helpful to me......that said I don't agree with the government's policy, we aren't all under the same umbrella and finding the holy grail of an understanding employer willing to make reasonable adjustments to make work possible is 99% of the battle.

It's honestly horrific I attempted during the pip process its brutal. They never brought sim to my area iv heard mixed things about it.

Yes! In my last job I'd gleefully picture myself falling down the stairs and breaking an arm or crashing my car and breaking both legs. Because that was better than carrying on as I was. Luckily I left and went self employed before either of those things happened. But I totally get the overwhelming physical pressure of trying to get by.

I’m not talking about expectations. Some people do deal with very difficult things and it’s got nothing to do with modern life!

Everyone saying “I go to work because I have no choice” don’t understand that one day they might be so unwell that they actually do have no choice. My Mum’s anxiety and depression resulted in horrific psychotic episodes. She was sectioned for years and my brothers and I were put in foster care. She couldn’t have just chosen to continue to work.

Its no different to someone saying “I’ve got cancer and I still work. So why are loads of cancer sufferers off work/in hospital/in a hospice?”

It’s because they’re even worse than you.

You are obviously struggling but you are lucky that you can work- you will be much more capable than people who just can’t. My mum got dla and still does for her mental illness. Throughout my childhood she was sectioned multiple times. She was simply not capable of working and that just wouldn’t have been an option. The hoops to go through to get that payment mean that people getting it will be very vulnerable.

mental health provision has been shit for a very long time but feels extra precarious now. People need support and help but I also think there needs to be a distinction between low level issues and building resilience and ensuring there is proper care and support for people who are unwell.

Of course there's medication for anxiety.

@OriginalUsername2 You clearly have no clue the fear, anxiety and distress induced by being a lone parent without backup and receiving a cancer diagnosis.

😂👏

I see the daily Mail readers are out in force today.

Some people have anxiety but are still able to work.
Other people have worse anxiety than that and are not.

Simple.

This just proves my point though? Mental health problems were probably just as widespread in the past. We are not in unprecedented times.

I think people need to learn the difference between anxiety and an anxiety disorder. There very very different.

What medication cures anxiety?

Yanbu to be anxious. To feel like you have to go to work because you have no choice and to acknowledge that you are not coping.

You are unreasonable however to imply that people who are not working due to their mental health are choosing not to work and if they had no choice, like you say you do not have a choice, they would just have to go to work.

Many people on sickness benefits due to their mental health can not work, as in even if the consequences of not working were absolute dire they still would not be able to work and therefore the dire consequences (loosing their home or their children etc) would still happen regardless.

It's not a competition

Oh I'm so sorry you've experienced it.

I've worked in places where almost everyone over 50 had some form of RSI to a degree - factory and cleaning work in particular. Decades of that can seriously screw your hands and wrists up and for women add in loss of elasticity from menopause ... As you say lots of elements of modern work and life are bad for our tendons, muscles and joints.

I'm a single parent I have absolutely no choice but to keep working and keep my children housed and fed. All singled handedly. I can't survive on just benefits so have no choice but to fight through how I feel day to day. I would absolutely love to give in to how I feel and take time out to feel better. I can't afford to. The stress of no money would be as high as the stress I have around working.

I agree with this, its not a competition, everyone is struggling unless you are in certain wage bracket and financially secure.
I can't help but feel our government is ensuring that we all turn on one another, the hatred for differing members of society is growing unbelievably. I'm wondering where it will all end.

People were either supported by family or they died.

The idea people were somehow 'stronger' in the past is bollocks.

There was community support, there was family support. Multi-generational living etc. Having to live with people with complex needs or ostracise them out of your family. Not very modern.

Everyone saying “I go to work because I have no choice” don’t understand that one day they might be so unwell that they actually do have no choice.

Exactly. I went to work everyday too - until I had a breakdown and had to be signed off for four months. Luckily I was able to leave permanently and go self-employed but I know I am incredibly fortunate to have had that opportunity. I'm in no doubt that it saved my life, though.

Have you seen what happens to the disabled kids and adults in poor/third world countries? They are abused, killed, thrown on the streets, left to fend for them selves. Street dogs get treated better in these countries.

Thankfully, we apparently live in a civilised country that doesn’t take this route!

when people say about taking away benefits for those who cannot work; this is what they are wishing upon those people.

Yep

Although feeling better now I've had a really tough couple of years with severe at times anxiety and insomnia but I'm self employed with a family relying on me and I've had many many days where I literally have to drag myself out of bed and through the motions but I've done it because that's what I do.

I would have loved to have had a period of time off to rest and recover my body and mind and as I have an auto immune disease which rears it's ugly head every now and then it causes chaos with my joints my brain and my body and mind overall and yet I still go to work with it.

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable

If you got too unwell to work, you’d have no choice. Its rarely a choice for most people.