People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

In OP's case, it sounds like she is already running on a broken leg.

I do think the way we deal with mental illness has got to change. I say this as someone with PTSD, associated (sometimes suicidal) depression and anxiety on top of ADHD. I did once have a complete breakdown and had 3weeks off work.

But the health service just hasn’t got the ability to deal with mental illness. They only person who will be able to sort it is yourself. Tablets (often with bad side effects) might mask it for a while.talking therapies are not a magic cure and they help only to the extent of self realisation and you be willing to act on it.

CBT might be a temp fix but again relies you acting on it for ever.

To heal you have to be able to look deep within yourself with complete brutal honest and be willing to change, to work on mind body and soul. Very few people offer a rounded enough approach to heal mental illness.

it takes a great deal of strength to overcome such obstacles. Some people have this natural fight. It’s one of the hardest things you can do. For many sitting at home where’s the incentive to fight? The assistance needs to go beyond a bit of CBT or pills. Therapists need to embrace all manner of unconventional ways to heal.

YANBU OP. I feel exactly the same

I have anxiety and around 4 years ago I hit a particularly rough patch. I managed to get counselling through my workplace but didn’t take time off work as personally I felt if I took time off I wouldn’t ever want to go back.
I managed to move job roles which helped massively but I did get treatment from GP as well as counselling.
I hear you OP it’s tough. I hope you can find some support to help you back into a better place

Having that kind of a breakdown isn't a choice. I don't think you can understand what it's like when your mind stops functioning and your body follows. You can't just will it away for the sake of your business - if it happens, it's a tidal wave and you can't stop it coming. I hope it never does happen to you - but please understand that people who experience it don't choose to be swept away.

Don't engage with them, for the sake of your own mental health.

Are you referring to PIP? You can be in full-time work and get PIP. Likewise with ESA.

PIP is very hard to get. Don’t be so sure you would get it.

Great, perhaps you could become an MP and solve the issues instead of just telling us what it should be like.

We all know that everyone is stressed, thank you.

I agree too. My daughter’s friend is 18, she’s really suffered with her mental health all through school and college eventually giving up as it became too much for her. Whilst I used to sympathise now they’ve all turned 18 she’s well enough to go clubbing every Friday and has been awarded pip for her anxiety. After seeing others that are housebound be declined it does annoy me.

I agree OP, I was fortunate enough to be covered for 6 months sick leave for this very reason but I had to return because my allowance ran out but I was not ready to return and feel like it’s only a matter of time before I reach that state again but this time I won’t have that option due to changing employer.

Yes, but a lot of people get PIP without working.

Or maybe the government should stop pushing for wfh to stop and employers should allow people to wfh if it helps them with their mental health

You seem to be saying someone should have to work in an office for 30 years even if it causes them anxiety and depression

But think how much nicer your life would have been if you could have wfh for 30 years and not had the anxiety and depression working in an office caused you?

Sometimes instead of you having to do the things you feel you can't do, the world could change so you can do them more easily

People have it too good now and I think that, combined with social media etc is the root of all this stuff. Too much comparison, too little socialisation, victim mentalities, too much time with our thoughts etc.

i can’t believe people on this thread complaining about life being so hard, as if they have a fucking clue how other people in the world live. You’re here on your smart phone with access to clean water. Your life isn’t hard.

Oh well, guess it's all OK then and we shouldn't worry about young people's mental health. At least they're not in the workhouse. I guess they should be grateful. 🙄

“Well, I hate working in an office and got anxious and very depressed for 30 years before I was able to WFH.”

If you had really developed an anxiety disorder or a depressive disorder, you would not have lasted 30 years in an office. Ergo, your hate of working in an office was more an irritating annoyance.

I think the OP is probably stressed enough to qualify. If she tried to kill herself, she probably would.

That is the problem with PIP, it encourages you to get worse and worse to keep the benefit. You don't get anything for getting better, you just get rewarded by having your PIP removed which is so unfair.

People on PIP with mental health issues need help to get better, not cash which stops them from getting better.

I had a generalised anxiety disorder and other stuff too. It was hard but yeah I worked. No option.

@Fedupandgrump I'm the same as you. Currently back at work after a seriously traumatic health episode as I just have no choice. I have a low dose of propranolol from the GP that I use when I need it. This only takes the physical symptoms away though.

I know a lovely lady who claims PIP for bipolar. She manages to go clubbing as she is surrounded by her friends and lots of support. She feels safe there, and she pretty much lives for putting together various outfits to out in, and for a while feel pretty.

I'm partially sighted with a physical disability which means I am in pain all the time

Yes my life is easier than someone in a poorer with the same or other issues

That doesn't mean my life isn't hard though

Having access to a smart phone or clean water doesn't miraculously make me see better. Or walk better. Or stop my hip dislocating on a regular basis.

I’ve been in your shoes OP.

you need to have a serious chat with your DH. Then you both need to work out a bit of downtime each. This means each of you covering each other.

my DH and I had a Sunday off (lie in and then own thing to 4pm whist the other covered kids and home) one Sunday a month. Not much but much needed.

Then why do the ultra rich and celebrities end up in psych wards or completing suicide if all you need for happiness is clean water and a smart phone?

I think most people know that there are some people who really can't work due to mh, and want there to be helps for such people.

I also think most people have a worry that if the bar for working gets too low, we have an unsustainable system.

But more, I think many people are aware of people on MH leave of varous sorts who they think it is either not helping them (and may indeed make them worse) or they believe they are actually taking the piss. I can think of a few people I know who certainly could have worked when they didn't - I don't believe they were being fraudulent, as such, but they had come to believe that they could not work, or should not have to. (And yes, these are people I was close to - family.)

I also know one or two who were essentially grifters.

I don't think there is any question that there are doctors who sign people off when they shouldn't. I don't think they are necessarily dishonest (though some are.) It's more that they have don't feel able to disagree about someone's mental health state self-assessment.

Particularly with younger people, I see a lot who don't seem to understand that working/going to school don't require them to feel 100%, or even 90%.