Very tight family unit, so try to keep that in mind when considering what I'm about to write.
We don't see each other twice a year, but it's more like, every other weekend or sometimes every weekend. We live very close.
BIL has been with GF over a year and we've spent a fair bit of time with them.
We don't know her very well of course, it's not been long enough.
However I just find her a bit off sometimes.
They come over and she just sits on her phone for hours, barely engaging. You always have to try to start conversations first. She seems like she can't really be bothered. Before anyone comes at me, the close family thing is also something she's used to. So it shouldn't be strange for her, that this is our set up. It's also like that in her own family.
She was over recently and thought nothing of turning her back on me. The way she positioned herself in the room, meant she had her back to me. If it had been me, I would always switch positions so that I didn't turn my back on anyone. It's rude. There was space. She could have sat elsewhere.
It just always feels a bit off. I wouldn't go to someone's house and just sit on my phone or turn my back on the host ( or anyone ).
I am obviously very warm with her when we see each other etc and try and make her feel as welcome as I can.
I will give it more time and always be polite and welcoming as I love BIL, but finding it a bit difficult sometimes. Things may get better. I didn't have a great feeling from the start and thought that giving it time, would make things better, but it's just not getting any better.
She probably fucking hates us or something, who knows but it's just not ideal.