Colleague answered my personal phone?!

[CaptainCabinets]

New colleague of a few weeks (I’m training her at the moment) answered my personal mobile when I nipped to the loo. It was on my desk, on silent so she wouldn’t have heard it ringing or vibrating. We don’t have work phones, so no reason for her to think it was a work call. I can’t think of any possible reason I’d answer a BRAND NEW colleague’s personal phone, surely you would just say ‘your phone rang while you were out’!

To add insult to injury, it was the midwife ringing to book my first antenatal appointment, so this new colleague who I know practically nothing about now also knows I’m pregnant before I wanted to announce it 🥴 and now I’m worried that if she doesn’t think it’s a problem to answer my phone, would she also not think it was a problem to tell other colleagues about my pregnancy?!

I didn’t say anything at the time as I excused myself to take the call and by the time I’d finished, we had a patient to see so the moment passed, but I feel quite uneasy about the total lack of boundaries this early on. How would you address it without making a ‘big thing’ of it?

Why on earth didn't you address it there and then? You should have immediately spoken to her about it.

But in future make sure your personal phone isn't laying around while you are at work

Take your phone with you.

She may have been trying to be helpful? I’d give her the benefit of the doubt unless proved untrustworthy. You could always ask her to keep the news quiet as nobody knows.

I would make a big thing of it. It is a big thing, and if you don’t make it absolutely clear she has overstepped, she’ll keep doing it.

Oh my gosh I would hate that. I'd say "Thank you for trying to help me out, but I would appreciate it if you didnt answer my phone in future, its really important to me to separate work and personal life and I want to keep my phone for personal use only. I'd also appreciate discretion regarding my midwife call. Thanks so much"
Then carry on as normal. If they do it after that then it needs to be addressed with management, never in a million years would I answer a colleague's private phone.

I would be addressing it straight away. It is never acceptable to touch someone's personal phone never mind answer it. You should be able to leave your phone on your desk while you go to the loo.
I have honestly never seen someone do this in the workplace. If she doesn't take you seriously I would be speaking to the line manager to make a complaint.

I’d take it up with the midwife too. She absolutely shouldn’t have given that information to a colleague and should have made sure she was speaking to you. If you are seeing patients yourself you know all about patient confidentiality.

How did she know it was a midwife calling? Medical professionals ask if they're speaking to Miss x even when they call a mobile.

Didn't the midwife check it was you????

But yeah I'd have given her a mouthful no matter who it was

WTF - did you say something there and then?!

Good point re midwife, I will ask exactly how the conversation started when I go to the appointment. Hopefully nothing was actually divulged as the call hadn’t been connected for long when I came back into the room, so it’s possible she hadn’t got as far as hearing who it was! She didn’t mention my pregnancy when I came back so I’m hoping I intercepted her before she heard anything interesting 🙃

I wouldn't say any of that, I would just say "next time my phone rings will you not answer it please".

Bizarre that you never said anything at the time.

I would now say, 'Sharon, I was a bit surprised you answered my phone especially as I had left it on silent so it wouldn't disturb you, in future please don't answer it. I haven't told anyone I'm pregnant so can you make sure you don't mention that my midwife phoned me.'

Shes got some cheek to do that and I'd be letting her know how inappropriate it was to nip any further incidents in the bud.

Recently a colleague who I've worked with 5 years and know very well was expecting a call from the Drs (she told me), she nipped to the loo and of course her phone rang. I was so tempted to answer it and get them to hold on as I had a feeling it was the call she was waiting for but I couldn't bring myself to do it, its such an invasion of someone's personal space.
It was the Drs and she was upset she missed it but I'm still glad I didn't answer it.

Who did she say was on the phone when she handed it over.

Did she say midwife? Or do you know it was midwife because you spoke to the midwife.

Definitely make it clear to the colleague that she is not to answer your mobile. I had a boss who did this years ago with a colleague’s phone and I thought it was out of order at the time but then she was a nightmare (whole other thread).
I also agree with the PP who said you should raise this with the midwifery service - is there not a GDPR aspect to this for starters? Surely the most they should have done is give their name and a number for you to call back on and they should have confirmed to whom they were speaking, for most medical calls I receive people also check my date of birth so they can be sure they are giving me the right information.

I can't imagine answering my colleagues phones who I have worked with for years. If someone's out the office and it rings with volume il take it through to them but if it vibrates we just tell them their phone was ringing. I'd just say to her I appreciate you were likely trying to be helpful but please don't answer my personal calls in future.

I’ll admit if a close colleague leaves their phone on their desk and it keeps ringing I might go and look at it in case it was the school or something trying to get hold of them, but answer?! Bloody hell.

I'd be very surprised if the midwife had spoken about your pregnancy on the phone to her. They usually double check who it is before saying anything.

However, no, she shouldn't have answered your phone.

I doubt very much if the midwife said 'hello, midwife calling' when she rang, knowing it wasn't you she was speaking to.

She shouldn't have answered it

Sometimes I've been waiting for an important call and said to my colleagues if I'm on a call and my phone rings please answer it if you're free and tell them I'll be a second
But that's only with permission

Speaking as someone with non-British family origins myself, is this colleague from a different cultural background or recently moved to the UK (assuming that's where you are)? If so, it may be that in her culture, there isn't a strict sense of privacy and she was just trying to be helpful by answering your phone. I would give her a gentle reminder about privacy and explain that what she did is not acceptable here.

I heard about a similar case recently about a well-meaning but socially inappropriate a college teaching assistant (TA) who had newly arrived in the US from an Asian country. There were two (adult) students in her class who were siblings. One student showed up for the exam, but the other sibling didn't. The TA was proctoring the exam alone. The TA started asking the student about her sibling's whereabouts, whether the sibling had made arrangements to make up the exam, and so on. The TA reported this to the main lecturer of the course and received a mild rebuke for violating privacy. But the TA still would not understand why it was wrong to ask a student about their sibling's circumstances. "But it was her OWN brother, Sir!" (as though the blood relation justified the asking).

Hopefully, the midwife just asked if she is speaking to xxx and was told no she will be back in a sec.

If you're going to leave your phone lying around you really should have security on it, whether it's biometric or a PIN.

Lots of us have been in our office for eons and know each other's loved ones so wouldn't rule out picking up if a phone was constantly ringing and I could see who the caller was in a 'Hi Andy, it's Cheese, Linda's popped out / in a meeting but I'll tell her you called' kind of way, but never ever with a new colleague I didn't know well, and never with an unknown / unrecognised caller.

You need to have a word and nip it in the bud asap.

You can still answer calls if the phones locked though.

OP that’s really odd! You can mention it in a setting expectations way if you don’t want to make it into an official / reprimand thing. “Hi new starter, just to let you know that my phone is a personal one and not a work one so please don’t answer it again. Coffee?”