To think most people don’t seem happy these days

[Babyitaintovertilitsover]

Just genuinely happy, like lots used to be

I feel like most people I know are not truly happy, they can laugh or smile at times, but something just isn’t right…am I imagining this? I don’t remember it being like that pre covid

I don't think it has anything to do with COVID, but times are not great in terms of the economy, and of course we are all older than we were ten and twenty years ago, with more responsibilities, less freedom and options.

Hmmm I’m not sure I agree with your first paragraph. Some people are more fortunate than others, thus have an easier and more pleasant life because they have less stressors. Stands to reason they are going to be happier and more optimistic in general as life has treated them well so it’s all good.

As a parent of a child with SEN, I can’t be fully happy because of the stress I have worrying about how my DC will cope when they’re older in a world doesn’t meet their needs. Who will look after them and help them if I’m not here?

In my opinion there is nothing more important than your children and their well being, so anyone that has children that are able and not disabled in any way are lucky. Your health is your wealth and all. I would give anything to take away my child’s difficulties and if it were possible, I would be so happy

I am happy.

Something very good happened to me a few months ago, and I was surprised to realise it didn't actually change my happiness levels.

More recently, something truly awful happened to my family. While I am still processing it, still a bit shocked, it has not made me unhappy in myself.

I read a while ago that studies that a few years after a lottery win or a life-changing disability, people tend to be as happy (or not) as they ever were.

I have vast sympathy for people coping with things like SEN kids, and I see a lot of awful threads on here on that subject.

But also I sometimes feel frustrated that many people are so unhappy about modern life in general. We are the wealthiest, safest people to have ever lived.

I agree OP. I think covid has wrecked what's left of any community we had in this country. People are more insular, less social, more unreliable. Human connection is so important, and I think we have underestimated the impact of outlawing it for so long.
Couple that with the state of the world - cost of living, housing crisis, climate change, wars - little wonder people are on edge. And tech means there's no escape!

It’s less to do with covid, lockdowns are now a distant memory, and more disappointment that fellow citizens voted for brexit and the conservative government that is causing a lot of this misery. Some people delight in the misfortune of such voters, who are now struggling, which isn’t good for community cohesion.

I feel more stressed , but I try to count my blessings and realize it could be a lot worse.
The neverending bad news doesn't help , but I have tried to not watch the news as much and to realize there isn't much I can do about any of it. (Which is ' head in sand' I know , but it is a way of dealing with it.)
The cost of living is a worry , food shopping is a night mare and I'm not sure how many families cope these days.
I worry about my sons, but , again , I try to think positively. Isn't always easy to do though and I definitely have more anxiety symptoms than I ever did before. Might be age related though.

I think covid is a pretty vivid memory for most people actually.
I don't think it is the only thing of course.
As a mixed family, we've noticed a massive increase in racism recently which isn't fun either. This government and the media thrives on division.

I'm in my late 40s, and looking back I'd say yes, people are more miserable today.

But that doesn't mean everything is worse. This country is a much cleaner, smarter, better educated place than it was in the 1980s. If you watch old sitcoms, or news reports, it's striking how dirty and scruffy and run down Britain used to be.

1. The loss of Identity. It isn't immigration that's the problem. Most of my favourite neighbours and colleagues aren't even British, they're Greek, Canadian, Thai and American. But immigration has occurred on such a massive scale that it has eroded national identity. Humans are tribal creatures. We need a sense of belonging. And that really is being destroyed. To make it worse, the liberal-left dominate the universities, the arts, the BBC, the publishing industry, etc, and in general they hate Englishness and Britishness. They're doing everything they can to make people ashamed of this country's past. Listen to Radio 4, for example. I tuned in recently to a programme on Jane Austen. Within five minutes they'd linked her to colonialism and slavery, and that was it, that was all they talked about for the rest of the show. A huge effort is underway to discredit and cancel as many of our national heroes as possible. Another small example. I was watching a discussion on Newsnight about the arts. They asked a famous Irish novelist to recommend a classic for young people to start with, and he said "well, I'm Irish, so I'd choose Joyce's Dubliners." It struck me, because I could never imagine an English-British novelist saying "well, I'm an Englishman, so I'd choose Dickens."

2. Overcrowding. There are just too many people, full stop. And that means too many cars, too many houses and too much noise. It means lack of space. Any zookeeper knows that when you jam too many animals in a cage they attack one another. My local woods have been hacked down to make way for a new estate, and at the other end of the village a second giant housing estate is being built. The traffic is beyond words, and I'm often woken in the night by the screeching of souped-up car engines. Look at he statistics. In 1900 there were a billion humans. By 1960 that had trebled to three billion. It's now eight billion. In Africa, women still have five children, on average, and the African population is going to double. I think a lot of people have a sense of doom, a feeling that we're spiraling towards disaster. There is this vague sense that overpopulation and climate change are slowly combining and that together they'll bring civilization crashing down. I suspect that's the reason the birth rate is dropping.

I could be talking utter garbage but I wonder whether for me personally it's an age thing. I've just hit the age where responsibilities really kick in - jobs, mortgages, children, ageing parents, relationship troubles. And I think that those responsibilities really weigh me down and are a source of depression, for me and my friends too.

When we were in our 20s, the world felt open and everything felt temporary. You knew that the rent on the little flat wouldn't be all you could ever afford, that there would be future promotions and opportunities. If a man made me unhappy I broke up with him. If I stopped liking a city I moved. If I was bored I'd meet people and take up a hobby. But now in my 30s with a family, life is very different and contains little freedom or hope for change.

People have short memories. Levels of happiness are always variable, because everyone's lives are different. But there have been collective "bad times" before..... the 1940s - war, followed by rationing
Late 1970s - strikes, unrest, financial uncertainty
Late 1989s - sky high interest rates, making us all wonder how we could pay our mortgages
2008 - financial crash, followed by recession.
Those are just a few, off the top of my head.
It does also depend on life stages too - most of my friends are hapoy & content as their kids are grown up, mortgages paid, already/about to retire, had the maturity to realise that "the pandemic" was not a big deal.
Everyone just needs to reflect on themselves, not make comparisons with others.

You have to try and help yourself by finding hobbies. Low cost hobbies.
Free hobbies.

I'm not feeling like you describe OP because I find ways to be content and look at the positive things instead,trained myself to do this...
we only spend what we have and haven't had a holiday abroad for 11 years. Find alternates to what you can't afford.
Vote wisely.

I agree. Things feel hard. For almost everyone. We are living through very difficult times. I think the reasons are multi faceted:

• the after effects of covid
• Work has become serious and humourless, everyone is having to do the jobs of 10 people regardless of what level they work at and all "fun" at work got taken away after the 2008 crash and never came back. Most people spend most of their life at work and if it's hard and serious and humourless, that has an effect.
• social media/internet - partly responsible for the increase in MH issues in teens, leaves people feeling as if they are constantly being watched, and judged, and:or need to be (look) perfect. People don't need to go out any more, everything can be done from home (ditto home working which has massive benefits but also huge downsides) so propel are less socialised.
• Less socialised population means we are seeing much more selfish and poor behaviour when people do venture out.
• Over concern about safety (again probably a result of internet) meaning people restrict themselves more, worry more, and helicopter parent which we are starting to see the effects of now.
• Cost of living crisis meaning everything feels a struggle even for middle income people. Lower income people can't afford the basics. Lack of money to afford the basics (and the debt that goes along with this) has a severely detrimental effect on people's mental health.
• Healthcare issues leaving people unwell for long periods including lack of access to dentists, difficult accessing doctors appts and long NHS waiting lists.
• Identity politics does none any favours
• Increasing polarisation of people and many steps backwards in terms of breaking down "isms"
• Brexit

Obviously all interconnected and sure I am missing a few.

We are living through very difficult and depressing times.

Yes, people are generally more miserable, but I have noticed that way before Covid hit.

I think people's attachment to social media plays a huge part, as does UK culture in general.

Social media makes us compare our lives to the seemingly perfect world others live in, and to their seemingly perfect skills.
So we feel a need to scrub every inch of our houses lest they look lived in, we feel the need to look like a Barbie doll with tons of make-up and new clothes all the time, we feel the need to work more and more hours to afford more and more goods because social media deem them necessary.
We are constantly striving for unachievable things. While that hasn't changed, the amount with which we're bombarded with what is unachievable for the majority of people has.

UK culture is centred around money.
In my home country, it is perfectly acceptable (and indeed often preferred) to invite people over to your home for a cup of coffee or a meal and some chill time. Here, there is a need to frequent pubs and cafes, which inevitably cost more.
Days out in my home country are usually inexpensive things, like walks in the countryside, a bike tour, parks, beaches, the odd church or other historical building. Theme parks, zoos, aquariums, water parks, expensive museums or historical sites etc. are annual things, if at all. People in the UK feel the need to spend so much money all the time.
Simple skills like DIY beyond putting flatpack together and any hand-crafted items are sneered at. Even hobbies have to be grand; I know so few people who do things on a small scale for the fun of it. You see it on here all the time for things like World Book Day (my child was one of two children in their year group with a homemade costume, all others were bought). Mumsnetters so often state they wouldn't like homemade "crap".
People would rather pay professionals than accept that they can do things, but they might not be Insta-worthy. So people have less money, then begrudge having to work more to afford this.

Simpler lives are much happier lives.

And it appears that happiness in general is not fashionable. So many people feel the need to tear down those who are happy to make themselves feel better. People filming themselves ranting about one thing or another get millions of views and followers for being "edgy".

Nah. I dance to my own tune. I am happy.

I agree.

Less social interaction and a 'society'. I feel people are more isolated than ever despite living in a well connected world.

Financial people are facing a difficult time with increase inflation, interest rates, mortgages and cost of living. Job market is difficult and job losses are high and lots of job insecurity.

I think many feel trapped.

I am not comparing myself to anyone.
I compare myself to myself.

Ten years ago I was earning 10k less than I am now with 2 children requiring paid childcare. I had more disposable income then than I have now! I am glad my children are old enough to understand things are tight, if they were still small it would be much harder to explain why we can't have days out, new toys, new clothes, holidays etc.
I turned 40 last year so I am plenty old enough to remember the better times and things are objectively shit right now! I am also old enough to know that if you can hang on long enough they do eventually get better again.

“So many people feel the need to tear down those who are happy to make themselves feel better.”

that’s exactly what you’ve done in this post

No, just those who live their lives like that and are miserable about it.

Ok, so it’s good for you to beat the people that are down?

That’s ok then.

I think age has something to do with it. I really miss the days when I could make my DC happy with an ice cream. or fix my mum's health issues.

I find mumsnet makes me less happy! It's effectively a giant magazine problem page (or, it is the way I use it, AIBU, relationships etc).

It's so easy to scroll the endlessly new stories. Before I know it I've filled my fresh morning brain with a cast of entertaining, yet essentially mean-spirited characters - CF neighbours, toxic school run mums, lazy bastard DHs, PIL who never help or care, people in all different jobs thinking they have it hardest....

It is a genuinely great site but I look at it too much.

As a population we are constantly bombarded with doom and gloom through the media, constantly fed these "look how great my life is" lies through social media and everyone is living through a cost of living crisis. It's a difficult time. However we are also taught something is wrong if we are not happy 100% of the time which is a false narrative. Emotions obviously fluctuate and we are supposed to be able to regulate these in a healthy way and not many people know how.
Many people need help with some kind of therapy to help with emotional regulation but with waiting lists being massive they are put on medication and told to just hang on...
Then we are told our mental health services are crumbling.

I think parents don't seem happy. High living costs, 24h news and social media might have a lot to do with it. But I've never thought in general people seemed happy. We're designed to identify problems.

It's true. Fb winds people up

I don't remember a time when lots of people were genuinely happy - I think this nostalgic idea of simpler, happier times is a bit idealistic. However, I agree with some PP that technology can play a significant part in exacerbating stress and anxiety.

Definitely see it.

Although I'd say pre - tech rather than pre-Covid. So many people seem unable to cope and seem so troubled. I blame technology and social media much more than Covid.