To dislike being asked what I am reading

[iamreading]

Eg in the hairdressers, at lunch time at work. I am reading, not wanting to talk but also unless it is a well known book you have to say something about it, otherwise it’s just ‘The Reading Woman by Anne Jones.’ I am generally reading something banal anyway so don’t want to admit this! AIBU?

What are you reading?

I agree!

What i really hate is being asked what music I’m listening to if I have my headphones in. I find that an intensely private thing and would never dream of asking someone else.

Yes I agree with this. You’d have to take your headphones out to answer and it’s similar with reading. I’m reading, not talking!

No I hate this too. The chances are they're not going to recognise it from the title and I'll end up having to try describe the plot. If I'm reading I just want to be left to read.

I usually say 'oh just some cheap thriller I picked up from Amazon'. Usually does the trick.

“The Human Centipede”

then go on to describe the movie plot. Chances are they’ll never ask again.

It's just a bid for conversation and connection with you, no one is trying to be difficult. If you don't have anything interesting to say about the book, that's fine, you can use it as a jumping off point to talk about another more interesting book you've read recently, or to ask them about their reading habits or whatever. Just a bit of friendly back and forth, not rocket science.

But I don’t want to talk to them … I want to read!

Not everyone wants to talk and “connect”

why do the wants of the sociable always trump the wants of the people who just want to be left alone?

Tough! If someone has their nose in a book that's a clue they're not in the mood for conversation! 🙄

😂

Just grunt and shove the cover in their faces that will get the message through

In the hairdressers they are probably obliged to make conversation. A quick “xyz by abc”. My hair appointment is the only time I get to myself to read it though! Then if their boss has a go afterwards at them cutting your hair in silence, they have a reason.

Sorry, but if I'm reading the last thing I want is to engage in a bit of friendly back and forth.
Just leave me alone to read in peace.

Friend of mine has a book mark which says something like 'fuck off and leave me alone - I'm reading'.

Wait... you can read while getting a haircut?! I've been doing hairdressers wrong!

I’m an unsociable person at lunch and just want to read at work. If you can’t describe the plot of the book or why you’re reading it is it a book you’re enjoying? If not, find a different book.

Someone's need for conversation doesn't usurp my want to be left alone while reading on my lunch break. I'm just minding my own business.

I actually don't mind chatting about books and tastes and getting recommendations. It's the interruption when I'm engaged in something else that's annoying.

Please tell me you don't approach strangers with their head in a book and ask them what they're reading?!

Do you also annoy people with their headphones in (the universal sign to leave someone alone)?!

Haha this is exactly what I'm thinking. I didn't even connect the dots someone was reading in the hairdresser's, just thought it was a general question like 'where are you going on holiday?'.

You must have really insensitive hairdressers/work colleagues. I don't think I've ever had this problem.
Either the situation is one in which it is reasonable for there to be a bit of small talk, in which case I feel happy enough to say what I'm reading, or it's a more peaceful situation and there is mutual understanding that we are in our private brainspaces and can leave one another alone.

Why are people saying they’ve been ‘doing it all wrong’ re hairdressers? I’m not being an arse, I’m genuinely head tilting in bewilderment.

I usually leave people alone if they look like they want to be left alone, and certainly if they've got headphones in. But if I'm on a train or airplane next to someone who's reading a book that maybe I've read or seems interesting, I'd be happy to strike up conversation about it and I like it when people do the same to me.

It's a personality thing. Some people are incorrigible introverts, and that's fine. But it's not rude for others to try and broach conversation, just as it's not rude to disengage from conversation early and return to your book if you prefer.

As in, I'd love to read while getting a haircut but didn't think that was socially acceptable! I hate making smalltalk and would love that time to just read or look at my phone or whatever.

What questions/conversation is allowed?

Right - it’s never occurred to me that it would be a problem! I have very young children so the hairdressers is one of the few opportunities I have to have some time to myself.

Generally, if I’m reading … I want to be left alone.

I wouldn’t say I’m particularly introverted and I don’t think I’m lacking social niceties or skills but sometimes I do want to be quiet and read and I wish that people would respect that tbh.