To dislike being asked what I am reading

[iamreading]

Eg in the hairdressers, at lunch time at work. I am reading, not wanting to talk but also unless it is a well known book you have to say something about it, otherwise it’s just ‘The Reading Woman by Anne Jones.’ I am generally reading something banal anyway so don’t want to admit this! AIBU?

Oh god this would be a nightmare to me and would really put me on edge. Hope we don’t cross paths

Ok, I'm the first to admit I often don't really understand the rules of social interactions but I have always assumed that someone sitting with their nose in a book is giving off a very strong signal that they do not wish to engage in social chit chat at that moment.

I just leave them alone. Surely that is the logical thing to do?

Get a bookmark that says "Fuck off, I'm reading" on it, and leave it in view of whoever might ask about your book.

You can't normally. I read during waiting times, but when they're actually cutting you have to put your head in certain positions incompatible with reading.

Haha I was even more of a menace in my youth. When I was a teenager, I'd make a point of trying to talk to anyone I was next to on a bus or train. I definitely got a few panicked responses from people like yourself who really don't enjoy talking with strangers.

I hate this too. If I’m sitting reading it’s because I want to read. But I do think when people ask it, it’s meant in a friendly way and we’re all different.

I’m ok talking to strangers sometimes but I don’t like it being forced on me. It’s an area where you have to have sensitivity.

I love reading, If I've read the book I might say great book or something, but after reading this thread I may not bother

I wouldn't mind it if people just asked what I'm reading and left it at that but they never do! It always a list of inane questions when I'm clearly trying to concentrate!

🤣

I'm often glad if people ask me about what I'm reading. It's a chance to evacuate all the thoughts that run through your head about a book. Saves having to post on MN about it, or even worse start a blog.

I look forward to my break at work. Eating, drinking, reading. But occasionally colleagues want to have their break at the same time and my heart sinks. I love all my colleagues and could happily chat before during and after shifts but please leave me alone to read.

I’ve always read my kindle at the hairdressers, sometimes I’m there for 2-3 hours with highlights/balayage setting times so would be really bored otherwise!

Re the OP, I sometimes ask my friends what they are reading but only because I’m looking for recommendations.

Because we didn't realise you were allowed to do that. I've never seen anyone read at the hairdresser's. I'm now thinking of all the potential reading hours I've wasted!

Tip for the hairdresser's;

'Before we start, I've got tinnitus, so I can't hear anything, especially when the hairdryer's on - and I can't lipread in the mirror or without my glasses'.

Guaranteed peace until they actually need to stop and ask you something.

One of the few advantages of the permanent hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Please tell me other people do their very best to read the title of everything people are reading on the bus or train to see if there's something good you've missed.

I don't interrupt someone who's reading but if they're holding a book and not reading I will ask.

I also contort myself trying to read titles on bookshelves in photos.

*I usually leave people alone if they look like they want to be left alone, and certainly if they've got headphones in. But if I'm on a train or airplane next to someone who's reading a book that maybe I've read or seems interesting, I'd be happy to strike up conversation about it and I like it when people do the same to me.

It's a personality thing. Some people are incorrigible introverts, and that's fine. But it's not rude for others to try and broach conversation, just as it's not rude to disengage from conversation early and return to your book if you prefer.*

This would be my nightmare. I don't even like talking to people I do know, let alone those I don't!

But apparently her need for conversation trumps everyone else’s wish to be left in peace

I do this too lol.

I loathe talking to the hair stylist. I'm not their friend. But I'm a shy, reserved sort.

But apparently her need for conversation trumps everyone else’s wish to be left in peace

I enjoy life more being open to conversation, including with strangers. I find a lot of people are open to a chat. But I do get that not everyone is similarly extraverted, and of course I don't persist in talking with someone who signals they're not keen.

I will say, anyone who is repulsed by people striking up conversation, I advise not living up north or in a small village!

I am baffled by the mumsnet aversion to small talk.

I'm pretty extroverted but it does annoy me when my (otherwise lovely) MIL comes into a room where I'm happily reading alone and doesn't even acknowledge I'm reading and starts talking about whatever she currently has on her mind. DH is the same actually, thinks it's fine to demand conversation when I'm reading then gets annoyed when I say 'sorry love, can I just finish this chapter'.

I don't mind so much when I'm in a public space but in my own home I want to be able to read without interruption. My kids just join me in reading.

I’m up north. I just like to be left alone. I’m extremely introverted but don’t like to be rude so would feel like I had to engage. It would ruin my peace

I have no aversion to small talk, villages or the north. It has nothing to do with any of those things, it’s just that there’s clearly a time and a place for small talk and someone reading, even if they are in a tiny village straddling the North Sea , is not wanting to talk.

I suppose I have become more guarded about it as my opportunities for peace are so very limited!

To put it another way it would be rude and anti social to read at a wedding or to read at a party, they are clearly social events where small talk is expected and it’s a useful skill - but it really shouldn’t be demanded from people all the time.