To think Ahhhhhh to loud phones and tablets in cafes and restaurants

[Isitthathardtobekind]

Have we reached a stage where restaurants and cafes need to put signs up to ask that families don’t allow their children to use loud phones and tablets that can be heard by other tables?

Last 3 times I’ve been out -
1st time - children watching Minions on a phone with volume turned up for the whole room to hear. Parent told them at one point to turn it down; they didn’t and it continued. Thought at least it would stop when their food came, but no- they propped it up and ate their food. No conversation or anything just loud Minions.

2nd time- 2 mum friends and 2 toddlers - one in a high chair. Phone on loud. Again thought at least it will stop when their food comes. No change when food arrives. The phone gets stuck in front of them while they eat. Again loud enough to impact on most tables in the room.

3rd time (today)- family arrive, including who I assume was the grandparent. No one spoke to the children. Very loud phone on playing music and talking, including while the waitress took their order (so loud I imagine it was tricky for the waitress to hear them). Luckily we were about to pay and leave.

Giving a tablet or phone to a child in a restaurant is one thing (although not something I do personally), but to not expect them to keep it no volume or with headphones so it doesn’t impact on others is surely totally selfish.
Are we really at a stage where adults can’t manage these things and have some respect for others and so restaurants and cafes need to set some rules around it?

Nobody should be watching or listening to anything in public without headphones.
It’s so abominably rude.
It infuriates me.

It drives me mad, but a lot of people seem to think their needs/desires override others.

i got a lot of abuse of an autism FB group this week for saying it’s not acceptable with people basically saying their child needs it so everyone else has to get on with it. Sadly people tend to forget the reasonable part of reasonable adjustment too often and think their needs over rule everything.

Heard it was because of the change to wireless earbuds that need charging. It was better when people carried around wired ear buds, always ready to be used. Since they don't have any charged up earbuds (or any at all due to being lost and expensive to replace), they just jack up the volume for all to hear.

I always ask them to turn the sound off. I haven't been refused yet. Signs would be great though...

Grandparents calling their grandkids on video are the worst culprits around here. So loud and so boring!

It infuriates me. Goodness knows how I managed to bring up my now adult children without them having to watch a noisy tv show whilst eating a meal in a restaurant.

It's ridiculous. How on earth do they think the children will learn basic table manners or respect for other people if they are so spoilt that they can't turn off the phone/tablet when out in public? Do they really need entertaining with screens for every second of every day?

It's so unnecessary. And it isn't helping prepare them for school, work or anything else where they can't just sit there being 'entertained' and ignoring everything around them.

It's just so lazy and ignorant. Sirzy hits the nail on the head regarding people's misunderstanding of reasonable adjustments, and I say this as someone with a disability.

I agree. If it does help a child with autism or other needs to come into a cafe, then surely they can use headphones. There are different types, including like the ear defender ones, that children could use. If they can’t because of sensory issues, then they can play games without volume!

That has always been my rule with DS. For him the iPad is a coping tool but I have been firm from the second he went on one that he doesn’t have the volume on in public without headphones. It has always been a non negotiable one!

I'm on holiday and at breakfast a man was asked to turn down his phone so he called someone instead and spoke really loudly in Russian! I mean you've got to laugh really you could see it coming a mile away 😂

People do it in public transport a lot. Tiktok is the absolute worst because it's just short blasts of something, then another thing, then another as people scroll through. Somehow worse than continuous sound and it drives me insane. A couple of young teens were doing this on the bus the other day. I could hardly have a conversation with my own kids over the noise. Both had their feet up on the seats and left crap everywhere when they left the bus too.

I despair, I really do.

@Greywitch2 the impact on children in school is very real. 20years in education and there is a definite change in the amount of children who struggle to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes, the number who lose patience with others very quickly, the number who struggle to accept boundaries and rules and the number who arrive at school with reduced vocabulary. You also see some young children who struggle to distinguish between reality and online games. It’s very sad.

@Isitthathardtobekind I know. 😀I'm speaking as a secondary school teacher of almost 30 years. We are despairing of 'the TikTok generation'. A 15 second attention span is not helping Y11s do serious revision for their upcoming GCSEs.

Oh yes! Another thing I’ve noticed. I was out for a birthday cream tea with my mum the other week and a lady on the table next to us was on a video call with someone. I assume she thought it was no different to being there chatting to a friend, but it definitely was. I doubt she would speak that loudly normally and her phone had a tinny connection so every time the other person spoke it was so loud and irritating.

It’s adults too. LNER now have a quieter coach rather than a quiet coach because people have sound from their devices regardless.

Adults do it too, on the bloody train.
It's so bloody selfish.

My son is autistic and has ASD and we have never used screens in restaurants. We take books, colouring dot to dot, whatever. If he kicks off, we take him outside. He is autistic and I expect reasonable adjustments for him, but I think subjecting everyone to full volume paw patrol or whatever is unreasonable.

That’s daft (not aimed at you!). I had to run 5k with no music the other day because my earbuds were dead and I didn’t realise. I was at the gym so couldn’t listen through the phone

This just made me think of an occasion when I was on the train with a colleague traveling to a conference. We were in the quiet coach. We were sitting next to each other quietly discussing a presentation we were going to deliver. A lady sitting across the aisle stomped over and said “This is the quiet carriage you know!”
She actually expected us to sit in silence for the entire 3 hour journey!

And yes, listening to kids cartoons or games in public places sets off my mysophonia 🥺

If the cafes and restaurants have an issue with it then they should have signs up or speak to individuals who do it.

If they don’t have an issue with it then it’s on you to put up with it or vote with your feet and go elsewhere.

Its not something that bothers me, although I use headphones as that’s my preference.

I think it bothers a lot of people, so are we all supposed to just get up and leave our food/drinks because someone decides to play a device loudly, rather than them having a bit of respect for others and wearing a set of headphones?

Actually I would expect that in the quiet coach. If you wanted to talk, why did you choose the one quiet coach out of all the others? I'm with her on this.

Nowhere else to sit. I thought a quiet carriage meant no mobile phones/games/videos/ noisy kids and so on. Not no talking quietly to the person sitting next to you??? For hours??? Is the ticket inspector allowed to talk? The person bringing the refreshments trolley round? No announcements from the driver/guard? What about the voice that announces each station?

I don't think it bothers the younger generation who places are trying to attract. We are in our 30s I wouldn't notice a kids device over our group chatting.

We were out for lunch today with my 5 year old (who had a colouring book for times in between courses) and we were disturbed by a couple in their 70's who both were watching TV on their phones - different things, opposite sides of the table, it was so distracting. I just don't get it - get a takeaway and just stay at home if all you want to do is watch TV.

@Fireangels perhaps that’s why it bothers me so much too actually! I hear it and then find it so hard to tune out. It really irritates me. I think I may have mysophonia. I can’t stand hearing sniffing, people chewing, forks hitting teeth etc.