To think Ahhhhhh to loud phones and tablets in cafes and restaurants

[Isitthathardtobekind]

Have we reached a stage where restaurants and cafes need to put signs up to ask that families don’t allow their children to use loud phones and tablets that can be heard by other tables?

Last 3 times I’ve been out -
1st time - children watching Minions on a phone with volume turned up for the whole room to hear. Parent told them at one point to turn it down; they didn’t and it continued. Thought at least it would stop when their food came, but no- they propped it up and ate their food. No conversation or anything just loud Minions.

2nd time- 2 mum friends and 2 toddlers - one in a high chair. Phone on loud. Again thought at least it will stop when their food comes. No change when food arrives. The phone gets stuck in front of them while they eat. Again loud enough to impact on most tables in the room.

3rd time (today)- family arrive, including who I assume was the grandparent. No one spoke to the children. Very loud phone on playing music and talking, including while the waitress took their order (so loud I imagine it was tricky for the waitress to hear them). Luckily we were about to pay and leave.

Giving a tablet or phone to a child in a restaurant is one thing (although not something I do personally), but to not expect them to keep it no volume or with headphones so it doesn’t impact on others is surely totally selfish.
Are we really at a stage where adults can’t manage these things and have some respect for others and so restaurants and cafes need to set some rules around it?

If the staff aren’t asking them to stop, you could try speaking to them to see what the policy is. If no one complains, staff may assume no one cares or may not notice themselves.

If they don’t tell the person to stop and you don’t like it, don’t use it again.

My DP is autistic and fucking hates people using tablets/phones on loud in public. He will go and complain to staff. It is a huge trigger for him.

I find it annoying enough in the supermarket (maybe just talk to your baby rather than give them a screen). I somehow did with three ND little ones surely you can do it with one. Would help if you took your headphones off for the 20 mins shop around Aldi. Grumble grumble

Years ago the tube had posters in carriages, asking people to be considerate with their music volume when wearing headphones because people could still hear it if it was too loud.
I miss those days.

Me too. They were good days.

I remember when just having a mobile phone conversation of any kind was considered annoying. The whole "trigger happy TV" thing that took the piss out of people using mobiles in public was because people didn't like it. Loudspeaker wasn't even a thing back then
Now it's barely even noticed and socially acceptable if its just an ordinary call. So maybe we will eventually get used to all the videos and tiktok and videocalls 😫

My DC now have noise cancelling headphones and use them to deal with such situations -usually on public transport occasionally dining out.

Honestly I'm increasingly think I need to do the same.

Your dc use noise cancelling headphones to block out other people's noise? And there was a poster claiming it didn't affect/annoy younger generations!

Um, I’d also expect you to not talk if you’re sat in the quiet carriage.

Its nowhere near as bad as phones but the quiet carriage should be, well, quiet!

You're allowed to talk quietly in the quiet carriage, just no devices

And there was a poster claiming it didn't affect/annoy younger generations!

I suspect it's sensitivity range not age issue - there is always a bell curve and some people won't be bothered by any noise others tiniest sounds cause issue but bulk of people falling in-between in range between two extremes.

I think behavior changed and noise levels have increased and people like me and kids who could cope in public easily in past increasingly find we struggle.

I think it’s extremely obnoxious. I have two small children and wouldn’t dream of letting them have their tablets on loud in a public place, to be fair we rarely take them out but I appreciate different strokes for different folks and some children have different sensory needs, but headphones exist for a reason.
I have to move tables/ areas before due to tablet noise. Honestly I would leave an establishment if moving didn't fix the noise issue, I’m not paying good money, to hear a tinny little ping ping ding every few seconds.

had this experience in both A&E & minor injuries recently, loud phones despite people with head injuries who had headaches. I didn’t have a headache initially whilst sat with relative, I did after 2 hours of listening to it, at which point another person waiting told them to turn it down. Selfish lazy parenting.

Agree, I always ask them to turn it down, be it a loud face timer or a Peppa pig fiend

Half the people on my usual train either

• have no headphones = most of the carriage can hear what they're listening to

- have headphones turned up so loud they may as well not bother = only half the carriage can hear.

It drives me insane.

The screens thing is very annoying. I had to sit recently through 2 hours of peppa pig on a plane. So inconsiderate.

I've also noticed that lots of people walk around on video call or loud speaker. Why?? I wouldn't want random people to hear me through a phone.

Agree this has definitely increased! Working in a school, so many parents now arrive having video call or loudspeaker conversations. Usually they are pushing a pram too so I assume it makes it easier for them maybe to not hold it to their ear; however the ideal would obviously be for them to collect their children and focus on that and not their phones!

I agree with you about noisy phones although I do always try to suck tablets quietly, except of course the suppositories, with thise I have to just grit my teeth and clench them, and hope no-one is looking. 😵

We are the same, my son has Autism among other things and we have never used screens in public, we use other coping mechanisms and keep outings as short and sweet as we can.
in the past loud noises from devices around him have actually upset and unsettled him due to sensory overload and we have had to leave or move on more than one occasion.
obvIously everyone is different and has different coping mechanisms, however, some people are oblivious to how their actions are affecting others. It seems to be common place now along with toddlers and smartphones in pushchairs.

Toddlers in pushchairs and trolleys with phones make me so sad. How did anyone manage before?! Yes sometimes a trip to the shop could be hard work, but also a great chance to chat to the child about the things being bought or pointing things out. People just want an excuse now to have things as easy as possible.

Mine are young teens now but I remember a time when they were 3 and 4 when I took them to a cafe for lunch and a lady came over to say to me how nice it was seeing us sitting and chatting. She said she didn’t see it much anymore and that was 9/10 years ago.

I was in a Costa today. A family came in.... one kid immediately had a tablet thrust in front of him.. on loud. Loads of beeping! Another kid appeared to have a meltdown due to the noise and got taken outside. She was spinning and dancing outside, came back in.... melted down again. Mum was knackered, and kept apologising.
Fucking chaos.

I do think there is a real issues about screen addiction. Why are people putting screens in front of toddlers, and sometimes babies. What happened to interacting with your own kids?

Yes same. Actually, I'm fairly surely I'm autistic too, and I find the awful tinny noise of videos playing on phones etc really grating. If I get to the point where I feel like I need to give my kids screens when out and about (not saying it will never ever happen, but so far so good), it will be with headphones.

I ran up and down a lovely waterway yesterday. Passed the same woman twice who spent the entire 30 minutes (I'm assuming, I was only near her for a couple) shouting into a phone on speaker. In a quiet, lovely area with dog walkers, runners, people with their children.

If you want to shout at your friends, do it at home!

See, that makes no sense to me.
I call someone on my phone, I hold my phone to the side of my head. Since when has it been a thing to talk into your phone like it was a fucking kazoo?

@surreygirl1987

Same here, hangman, the boxes game anything to occupy and they hadn't invented tablets. We coped and dd learned to spell from the hours of hangman . In fact dd hates noise so it's awkward with the competing sounds these days, autism varies a lot