To have found my first mammogram really upsetting?

[YompingJo]

Got a letter through with very basic details if an appointment. Turned up and found the whole thing demeaning. Tiny room, intimidating machine taking up most of it. The radiologist was monosyllabic and bossy and manhandled me into the right position including grabbing each breast and shoving it into position, pushing other bits of my body out of the way, not once asking first. I know it's a necessary procedure, but a bit of sensitivity would have gone a long way, and having the respect to ask for consent before grabbing a breast is a basic consideration. I'm autistic and needed to know much more what to expect beforehand. The letter gave a way to request assistance in the case of SEN, but I don't consider myself to have SEN and didn't know what I'd need until I was right there, so that wasn't any help. There was a QR code for feedback, which I gave but I just feel... invaded and demeaned. AIBU?

What does ND and SEN mean?

ND - neurodiverse
SEN - special educational needs

First time I had a mammogram I was a bit startled at how 'rough' the procedure was but it was done in private and by a medical professional. They did what they had to do to get the images they needed. This was explained as we went through the process. They weren't rude but they were matter-of-fact. Topless in the same room with the machine.
Yes boob squash is not fun but it only lasts a few seconds. PAP smear is waaaay worse. Intravaginal (wand) ultrasound is way worse too. Machines are getting better all the time.
Consent is obtained by signing the form at the reception desk. Didn't you get a form to sign?

Thank you!

This thread is sad. It every area of life we meet people who are nice and caring, a nice nurse. And we meet others, nurses, waitresses, British gas, HMRC etc who are just 'computer says no' people, or not caring, curt etc. and they ruin it, or make it more unpleasant than it needs to be. and you have to question why they continue to do such a job, it's supposed to be caring. Why go into nursing if you don't want to serve and care? Go do another job! I've met plenty of nice nurses and some not so pleasant ones. Surely most of us have?

They aren't nurses. They are radiographers. They are there to get a radiograph that can be interpreted to identify and diagnose tumours. Their job is technical, not care giving. (yes they should also be sensitive)

@MeTooOverHere

No need to be petty. Radiographers, nurses, any other member of staff, from any company, should treat others in a respectful and caring way. No doubt the radiographer needs to do a job, get the images. But for any situation there's doing a job, and doing it in a pleasant way.

@MeTooOverHere

The radiographer was sensitive?

The fact that you are proud of telling a songographer to 'fuck off' tells me so much about you. You sound vulgar and unpleasant but project those attributes onto others.

I completely agree with :
@NotEnoughRoom

"Yes, mammograms can be very painful for some women, and yes, your boobs are out, and need to be manipulated to get the best possible image - no one needs to be a twat about it though, and it wouldn’t have taken that much longer to say “I need you to do x” or “just turning you round/tucking this in/moving that there” etc. they are basic courtesies and should be part of how they speak to any patient. "

It takes a few seconds to say to someone : 'I'm gonna need you to do .... this".

It's a basic courtesy, that should be given to us all, by all, in nearly all situations.

I've only had 1 mammogram, it was completely painless, didn't bother me, the radiographer was very pleasant, and at one point, said " I just need to adjust you here".

Why shouldn't the op have been treated similar kindness.

(I've met atleast 1000 or so medical staff in my life. I've been diabetic my whole life, and used to have to go to diabetic clinic every 3 months, so I met a nurse and a diabetic professor every time). Plus my eyes diabetically photographed annually. Plus 2 kids, at the laster stages scanned weekly. Plus general GP's visits and other staff for general stuff .)

Most staff nice. Some not.
The rare ones who aren't you wonder why they choose to work in a caring profession? Why not go and get another job ?

Amazing that people are still here arguing that expecting basic kindness from a healthcare professional is entitled and precious. That suck it up, be grateful attitude is SO much more off-putting than people telling the truth about what their procedures were like.

Well, I got my boobs out for both my children, including in shopping centres. A shawl covered all. But in the mammogram suite you do feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. You are (if like me) wondering what the other woman thinks about your breasts. A modicum of politeness and kindness is required, I think.

I also had a bad experience getting a mammogram and tbh it is putting me off having another one which is way overdue.

I know it's not logical and I need to force myself to do it but somehow I always come up with excuses because I am actually dreading it. My last one was done in a mobile mammogram centre in the hospital car park. The environment was cold and unfriendly and so was the Radiographer. She made me feel uncomfortable and stupid for a mistake I made during a process that was entirely out of my comfort zone.

@MeTooOverHere I had no paperwork at all. I had a text out of the blu telling me where and when my appointment was. There was a link to click if you needed to change it. I didn't need to, but clicked any way. Hidden in the website where a very basic 5step guide, and elsewhere a video of I assume a radiographer giving a very basic description of the process. Neither mentioned that someone else would need to position me. They both said that some people might experience minor discomfort. They both gave the impression that it was a simple walk in, have a couple of x rays taken, go home. Sono I didn't feel I had to go a search the internet for more information. I assumed the NHS would tell me everything.
When I went to the reception desk I gave my name, was asked if it was my first time (yes), and did I have any concerns about the health of my breasts. I was given nothing to sign.
The same lady took me through to Di the test. She explained nothing. She poked, prodded and gave abrupt commands to move.

Going off at a slight tangent here, not only did I hate my first (probably last) mammogram as was so painful, nor the several cervical smears over the years (which I no longer bother with, as very painful and means taking time off work out of my precious annual leave as GP nurse only works Mondays, which makes me resent procedure even more), but I have also had to endure a very painful removal of a coil last year - the first 'attempt' was carried out by a nurse at a medical centre who looked at me blankly when I expressed pain and whenI asked if this usually was so painful she replied "I've never had any complaints before" condescendingly, looking at me as if i was odd, and we had to give up the procedure on that visit. I later managed to get an appointment at another centre via my gp, and requested an anaesthetic, but apparently it is not available for this type of procedure (i guess we women are supposed to be able to endure the pain without complaint), anyway at least the Consultant Gynaecologist removing it and her accompanying Nurse who held my hand throughout were very gentle and communicative - unlike the ignorant nurse at the first centre who just yanked at my womb, making me feel like it was going to yank our all my insides! They also agreed that there are some women who find the procedure painful, so I wasn't being overly squeamish. Thankfully there was no longer a need to re-insert another coil, due to my age, but I probably wouldn't have bothered with another one anyway after that dreadful experience.

I don't think my husband has had to suffer more than an intrusive finger up his bum to check his prostate in his whole life, and will never know the pain and indignities women have to suffer, luckily for him.

I wasn't being petty. I said yes they should be sensitive to the patient. But they are NOT there as nurses.

How is that comment to the OP in anyway helpful? Of course she knows why she’s there, she’s talking about the care.

Sounds like your system is lacking. Here we have a form to sign, we go into a private waiting area and then called in for the scan. Go back to the private waiting room to wait for the result (to make sure the scans are good to read) and then go home. Letter a couple of weeks later with the results.

Yeah see those situations are off putting. Ours is done in a small modern building with lovely decorations etc. All designed to relax and put us at ease. TV, coffee and tea facilities etc.

I'm a woman and a biologist. I tend to be sensitive to this sort of 'joke' because quite honestly a lot of women DO think men design medical instruments and processes to intimidate and humiliate women.

Usually it is simply a reflection of the realities of the female body.

Someone said all her husband has ever had to experience is a finger up the bum for a prostate exam. Most men I know don't enjoy or look forward to that experience and some decide to avoid it.

100% this!
I unexpectedly had my (ancient!) copper coil out in 2021, at a hospital outpatient appointment to check for post menopausal bleeding (which was caused by a small polyp)
I was actually told to "grit my teeth" by the male consultant as he removed it in a room full of nurses and two male junior doctors (I was not asked if I minded if they were there either, but the woman before me was asked?!)
The nurses were really lovely though and talked me through it.
But it's that "Grit your teeth" attitude that really winds me up!
I've had four children, but that still bloody hurt!

Wow! Your experience really tops mine - think I would still be having nightmares about it in your position. A roomful of junior doctors witnessing the whole painful and undignified event would have amplified the horror tenfold!

There appears to be the attitude "you've had a baby(s) so you're used to displaying your vagina to all and sundry" - bloody rude!!

Someone said all her husband has ever had to experience is a finger up the bum for a prostate exam. Most men I know don't enjoy or look forward to that experience and some decide to avoid it.

Friend went to have something investigated, (can't remember what - I wasn't with him at the time, so have only been told a tale after,) and asked the doctor if he wouldn't need an internal biopsy, and GP said, "you really won't like me if I do that, because it will hurt a lot, so I'd rather do other tests first." And I thought, I can't think of a time where they've chosen to do other tests on me so I could avoid pain. Male privilege. I mean, I don't have a prostate or anything male (good thing too, as prostate cancer runs in the family,) but I have had a needle biopsy in the breast more than once, and other things which hurt.

Surely this reflects the specifics of the test involved? Do you think there is some conspiracy to inflict pain on women and let men off the hook in an healthcare setting? Do you honestly think that health care practitioners adopt this approach? Does absolutely everything have to be seen through the lens of 'male privilege'? This thread is so weird. I am so glad I do not see the world in such a tainted and troubling way.