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Original poster

to KNOW ds could've died

36 replies

GoawaySunrise · 26/04/2024 21:40

Posting for traffic. Dm takes ds(he's 4 and ND) once a week to her house to give me time alone with the new baby and just for fun and cuddles. Dh picks him up on way home from work. Today she dropped Ds off which was unusual, and told me she was flying down the road, looked back and saw ds door was wide open. She said she immediately pulled to the side and shut the door. She swears her childlocks were engaged and the door was shut and locked when leaving her house.
I'm willing to accept human or mechanical err once the car is looked at. Beyond that, is there something besides a straight jacket that will help ds? We have all the talks we can about safety, but with his inability to understand the dangers around him, what can I do? That's not figurative I literally am willing to do anything reasonable people suggest. I'm considering everything from bungee cords to good carpet tape. And thats even if he opened the door on his own, but I'm just assuming he did for safetys sake. I'm also wondering how a newer vehicle(2020)lets you open the door while driving. And if she didn't really shut the door shouldn't it have dinged incessantly?

OP posts:
BirthdayRainbow · 26/04/2024 21:42

Flying down the road sounds like she was driving very fast.

Put his car seat in the middle so he can't reach the door?

SpecialG · 26/04/2024 21:43

I work for an SEN provision and a lot of our children have special harnesses fitted to vehicles to stop them being able to undo their seat belts. Google Houdini harness or seat belt clip

AGlinnerOfHope · 26/04/2024 21:43

I think you may be over reacting because of your anxiety about your son.

Things happen.
he was wearing a seat belt.
Your mother noticed and stopped

KnickerlessFlannel · 26/04/2024 21:44

My daughter did this in mils car - she had taken it for an mot and as part of it they has dingaged the child locks but not told her when they returned it.

Icanseethebeach · 26/04/2024 21:45

What kind of car seat was he in? Car seats using seat belts are only recommended is children can be trusted to leave them in place.

Hankunamatata · 26/04/2024 21:47

Shouldn't have happened if childlocks were on. Perhaps they had clicked off by mistake?

Littletreefrog · 26/04/2024 21:47

Car seat in the middle and a special needs harness if he is not able to follow instructions not to undo his harness or touch the door handle.

Original poster
GoawaySunrise · 26/04/2024 21:50

Icanseethebeach · 26/04/2024 21:45

What kind of car seat was he in? Car seats using seat belts are only recommended is children can be trusted to leave them in place.

He's never undone his seat belt or even bothered the window buttons. Thank God😩

OP posts:
WittyFatball · 26/04/2024 21:56

Sounds like your mum just forgot to have the child locks on, she's had a fright though and will be sure to double check in future!

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/04/2024 22:03

She didn't reliese door had opened when driving ?

Either way she stopped car and shut door

You are blowing this out of proportion

Ds didn't nearly die.

He didn't undo his seatbelt

He didn't fall out of the car

Make sure child locks are on

Ans tell ds NEVER touch the door handle

fourelementary · 26/04/2024 22:05

So did he open the door or unlock his belt? Im so confused… sounds like your mum just didn’t fasten the door properly. No harm done.

Mumaway · 26/04/2024 22:05

Most modern cars can be locked from the front seat, and then he would need to both disengage the lock and work the handle. Add in extra checks os childlocks and you're good. You all got a fright.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 26/04/2024 22:09

AGlinnerOfHope · 26/04/2024 21:43

I think you may be over reacting because of your anxiety about your son.

Things happen.
he was wearing a seat belt.
Your mother noticed and stopped

This. Things happen. He was being well cared for and your dm noticed, probably fairly swiftly. No harm done and as with most things in life we live and learn.....so take the lesson from it and move on.

Original poster
GoawaySunrise · 26/04/2024 22:17

fourelementary · 26/04/2024 22:05

So did he open the door or unlock his belt? Im so confused… sounds like your mum just didn’t fasten the door properly. No harm done.

No on the belt, a maybe on the door. Yes you're right, was just very scary for us both and looking to prevent it from happening again.

OP posts:
Infinity234 · 26/04/2024 22:21

You can get car seats that have 5 point harnesses for up to 25kg.

NeedToBeStrongStepAway · 26/04/2024 22:25

I did this as a child was pinging the door handle and it flew open down a busy road. Before the days of seat belts and car seats!
I still remember it. It was enough to scare me not to do it again.

Just get her or your dh to check the child locks are definitely on

Put ds seat in the middle

cansu · 26/04/2024 22:30

Obviously the child locks were not on. Just check them.

Sapphire387 · 26/04/2024 22:32

I'm not sure how he could have died, tbh... but it's always scary at the time.

We were in a hire car once, thought we had the child locks on but clearly got it wrong. DS opened the back door on the slip road onto the M25 (of all the places... yes) and my DP had to pull over onto the hard shoulder. It was pretty terrifying.

Original poster
GoawaySunrise · 26/04/2024 22:37

Sapphire387 · 26/04/2024 22:32

I'm not sure how he could have died, tbh... but it's always scary at the time.

We were in a hire car once, thought we had the child locks on but clearly got it wrong. DS opened the back door on the slip road onto the M25 (of all the places... yes) and my DP had to pull over onto the hard shoulder. It was pretty terrifying.

I'm one of those people that always think of the worst thing that could've happened. That sounds awful glad you all were ok

OP posts:
Neodymium · 26/04/2024 22:39

Can you put the seat in the middle?

Lululime2024 · 26/04/2024 22:45

My daughter is almost 4 and has autism. I have both of these on her car seat together because she's ended up climbing out completely on many occasions

to KNOW ds could've died
to KNOW ds could've died
TheFormidableMrsC · 26/04/2024 22:49

My ND DS managed to open the door when we were driving. Fortunately I was slowing at a junction but I actually didn't notice. A car pulled alongside me and beeped and waved. I was horrified. It took me a long time to get over that. The child lock was only engaged on one side. So stupid of me not to double check it and of course I made sure it never happened again. I also bought a harness as he was very clever at getting out of the car seat.

Original poster
GoawaySunrise · 26/04/2024 23:04

TheFormidableMrsC · 26/04/2024 22:49

My ND DS managed to open the door when we were driving. Fortunately I was slowing at a junction but I actually didn't notice. A car pulled alongside me and beeped and waved. I was horrified. It took me a long time to get over that. The child lock was only engaged on one side. So stupid of me not to double check it and of course I made sure it never happened again. I also bought a harness as he was very clever at getting out of the car seat.

So glad it turned out ok for you. I surely will remember this forever and be a pain about checking everyone's doors as I'm pretty sure this is what happened as well.

OP posts:
PinotPony · 26/04/2024 23:14

Well I could have been run over by a bus today. But I wasn't.

Lots of things could happen. Pointless getting stressed about things that didn't actually happen.

It's a good opportunity to minimise the risk of it happening again. Does your mum's car not have child locks? That would be the simplest solution.

BirthdayRainbow · 27/04/2024 06:24

Sapphire387 · 26/04/2024 22:32

I'm not sure how he could have died, tbh... but it's always scary at the time.

We were in a hire car once, thought we had the child locks on but clearly got it wrong. DS opened the back door on the slip road onto the M25 (of all the places... yes) and my DP had to pull over onto the hard shoulder. It was pretty terrifying.

Surely it's obvious. If he had fallen out and hit the road..

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