Another inheritance one

[Blacktoback]

My Late Father passed away last April following a year long illness of cancer with brain metastases.
There is my Sister (A) and my half brother (B) and sister (C)
My Father really struggled with his illness, enduring chemotherapy and immunotherapy as well as surgical intervention. For the last part of his life he was confined to his bed, drank Whiskey and suffered personality changing UTI’s. Understandably he would get frustrated and angry over the smallest of things. During the late stages he would fall out with the four walls without any effort.
One day my Sister (A) went to visit him. He asked ‘A’ to action a deed on one of his properties (A is a solicitor working in commercial litigation). ‘A’ explained that she wasn’t an executor of the will or a POA therefore she wasn’t able to action this for him. An argument ensued and my Father threatened to cut ‘A’ out of the will. ‘A’ was then cut out of the will. 10 days then went by of my Father crying saying ‘it’s too late now’ and ‘I’ve made the biggest mistake’. ‘A’ was never put back in to the will.
The residual of the estate is left to me, ‘B’ and ‘C’.
‘B’ has a clause in the will where he is not able to access the money until he’s 30 due to issues surrounding recreation drug abuse.
‘C’ has access when she turns 21 which is 2 years away.
I have always maintained that I would half my share with my full sister ‘A’. However, as time goes by I am starting to feel slightly resentful. I know mortally it’s 100% the right decision to make, but I cannot ignore that she earns 3x my salary and a desirable property (which is mortgaged). I work in the NHS, I have a degree and I am advancing in my job field. There are no talks of spliting the residual 4 ways from my 2 other siblings.
Am I bitter in unreasonably thinking she would automatically earn the inheritance sum within 4 years due to the salary difference when it could be a really life changing sun to me?

If you never mention it would she ask for it?

I don't understand why you'd be expected to give half of your share to your sister? If anything you should give the portion of your share she would have received had the money been split 4 ways rather than 3 ways if you see what I mean. So you would be neither profiting nor losing out from your sister being cut out of the will. If your sister asks for or expects more than this she should speak to your half siblings. If she tries to pressure you about it I wouldn't give her anything.

How many times did you voice your intention to split the money?

Did you say this to her?

This!

Surely if your father wasn’t in his right mind it can be reverted to the original Will. I feel awful your dad had this hanging over him in the end. Surely as a solicitor your sister should know or easily find out what needs done. Have you asked your other siblings to share it out?
Yabu to bring wages into it and will regret it if you go that way. Right is right.

Speak to your siblings about splitting it 4 ways, as it sounds like this is what your dad really wanted.

I really appreciate all of your replies.
2 caveats we’re placed whilst we gained medical records to see if we could question his capacity at the time of the will. These records demonstrate that his capacity was not questioned. There is no way of us reverting back to the old will, he made 9 in total.
I said from the beginning I would split it with her, this was mainly from shock and wanting to do the right thing. But now I’m dissecting it with allowance to the big difference in our earnings and job prospects it’s just making me feel bitter.
In regards to my other siblings, neither party have been in contact with each other since late last year. I am in contact with all 3.

Exactly this, it would be unreasonable of your siblings to refuse.

Your comments about your sister's earnings are a bit mean.

Ask for a deed of variation by the executors and split the inheritance 4 ways again.

This is terrible for A. If the rest of you are decent people you will all voluntarily have the estate split 4 ways. If not then IMO you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Your sister's earnings aren't really relevant. I would give her 1/3 of what would be her share out of 'mine' because if your father hadn't changed his will that's what you would have got anyway. You're not missing out that way. The other two can make their own choices, hopefully the right one.

You know its morally right to have the will varied to give you all 25% rather than 3 of you have 33%. If the others want agree to a deed of variation then give her the quiescent of 8% of the whole from your share so around 1/4 of what you get.

It would be a shame to end up destroying you relationship with your sister over money when she was just doing the right thing.

Isn’t not a quarter? Each sibling should give cut out sibling a quarter so everyone gets 3 quarters of a third. Which is the same as a quarter of the whole.

Her earnings etc have absolutely nothing to do with anything.

You made it clear in your original post that things were going to be split equally until your father cut her out because she wasn't able to do his bidding in relation to changing his will. You and your siblings all know what happened, and why. Why on earth would you not just put it right voluntarily?

I worked as a lawyer for a long time, and was thoroughly shocked and disgusted by the way people will behave over family money. Your post is a perfect example of what I found so shocking and disgusting.

Edited for typo.

Well you can either keep all the money, or lose your sister. You choose.

I would give her a quarter as that leaves you with what you would have received if she had been included.

What the other siblings do is up to them.

Give her 25%.

This is only fair and what I'd be fighting for in your shoes.

Don't let your dad's legacy be one of bitterness and family fall outs, for any of you.

I don’t think you need to split yours down the middle necessarily, I would be speaking to siblings to arrange the full amount to be split equally amongst the 4.

You know that your dad wanted her to included and if you’re considering cutting her out completely then that is unforgivable for me. It is not “your” money and what she earns or doesn’t earn is irrelevant. Give her the appropriate sum from yours in line with your share of the 1/4th.

If you worked as a lawyer for years then you would be aware that my Sister was not involved in ‘bidding’ for his will or assisting with it. And if you had read my post then you’d be understanding that I am prepared to be more than fair with the shit show that had occurred. I’m just gaining opinions on what other people see as fair and whether my disgruntled feelings are valid. So far, people have offered suggestions which seem hopeful. Whereas you’ve provided me with a shite excuse for leaving your job.

So if your dad had left the money split between the 4 of you you would have been fine with that, despite A earning more etc? But because you dad had a hissy fit essentially (through no fault of his own, he was ill) over something ridiculous which you KNOW he regretted there's now an issue with giving her the share of your share she should have gotten (you don't need to give her half, that's silly). B and C will do the right thing too - even if they have to be shamed into it by you doing it first or they won't, that's not your problem.

I’m choosing my Sister. I feel really good points have been raised and I’m really appreciative of the replies. Not including my Sister was never a thought, it was more over what is fair. Thanking those who have got me out of the salary earning tunnel thought process.

Ideally, it should be 4 ways, as originally intended. However, if your half siblings aren't willing to share, then the right thing for you to do is share with your sister.

How much she earns is totally irrelevant. It's not right that she should receive nothing.

@Blacktoback

From your OP.

One day my Sister (A) went to visit him. He asked ‘A’ to action a deed on one of his properties (A is a solicitor working in commercial litigation). ‘A’ explained that she wasn’t an executor of the will or a POA therefore she wasn’t able to action this for him. An argument ensued and my Father threatened to cut ‘A’ out of the will. ‘A’ was then cut out of the will. 10 days then went by of my Father crying saying ‘it’s too late now’ and ‘I’ve made the biggest mistake’. ‘A’ was never put back in to the will.

So, and as I said, you and your siblings know your sister was cut out of the will because she wasn't able to do your father's bidding in relation to changing his will.

You asked for opinions and I've given mine. It comes from the heart because unfortunately I've had experience as a lawyer of this kind of thing. If you don't want honest answers about whether or not you've been unreasonable then I suggest you don't ask for opinions on AIBU. Some of us will tell you what we really think.