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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another inheritance one

59 replies

Blacktoback · 26/04/2024 20:38

My Late Father passed away last April following a year long illness of cancer with brain metastases.
There is my Sister (A) and my half brother (B) and sister (C)
My Father really struggled with his illness, enduring chemotherapy and immunotherapy as well as surgical intervention. For the last part of his life he was confined to his bed, drank Whiskey and suffered personality changing UTI’s. Understandably he would get frustrated and angry over the smallest of things. During the late stages he would fall out with the four walls without any effort.
One day my Sister (A) went to visit him. He asked ‘A’ to action a deed on one of his properties (A is a solicitor working in commercial litigation). ‘A’ explained that she wasn’t an executor of the will or a POA therefore she wasn’t able to action this for him. An argument ensued and my Father threatened to cut ‘A’ out of the will. ‘A’ was then cut out of the will. 10 days then went by of my Father crying saying ‘it’s too late now’ and ‘I’ve made the biggest mistake’. ‘A’ was never put back in to the will.
The residual of the estate is left to me, ‘B’ and ‘C’.
‘B’ has a clause in the will where he is not able to access the money until he’s 30 due to issues surrounding recreation drug abuse.
‘C’ has access when she turns 21 which is 2 years away.
I have always maintained that I would half my share with my full sister ‘A’. However, as time goes by I am starting to feel slightly resentful. I know mortally it’s 100% the right decision to make, but I cannot ignore that she earns 3x my salary and a desirable property (which is mortgaged). I work in the NHS, I have a degree and I am advancing in my job field. There are no talks of spliting the residual 4 ways from my 2 other siblings.
Am I bitter in unreasonably thinking she would automatically earn the inheritance sum within 4 years due to the salary difference when it could be a really life changing sun to me?

OP posts:
kiwiane · 27/04/2024 08:03

You should only give her the portion that you gained by her being cut out of the Will; the others can keep what they’ve inherited.

WoodBurningStov · 27/04/2024 08:07

PrettySenior · 26/04/2024 20:45

I don't understand why you'd be expected to give half of your share to your sister? If anything you should give the portion of your share she would have received had the money been split 4 ways rather than 3 ways if you see what I mean. So you would be neither profiting nor losing out from your sister being cut out of the will. If your sister asks for or expects more than this she should speak to your half siblings. If she tries to pressure you about it I wouldn't give her anything.

Edited

What a nightmare, but this I think is the most reasonable resolution as you'd still get what you'd have if it was split equally

FlameTulip · 27/04/2024 08:14

I agree with the posters suggesting you give her a quarter of your share and suggest to B and C that they do the same.

MarmitePizza · 27/04/2024 08:17

Blacktoback · 26/04/2024 22:00

Final will was read following his funeral.
I’m not understanding you on the term of bidding?

To “do someone’s bidding” just means to do what they have asked you to do. It’s just a normal but old-fashioned phrase, not a specialist legal term.

CountryMumof4 · 27/04/2024 08:19

So sorry for your loss OP. Sounds like you've all had a very difficult time.
It also sounds like you're keen to ensure your sister doesn't miss out, which is exactly how it should be. As others have said, the logical thing would be for you and your siblings to simply give her a proportion of your shares to ensure she ends up with 25%. Make it clear to the others that this is what you'll be doing and have a calm conversation (or send a group email) to suggest they also do the same. Hopefully, after consideration, they will. Money really does cause so many ructions within families. It sounds like you're doing your best to resolve this - good luck!

lolacherricoke · 27/04/2024 08:22

Ok so what you need to do is the right thing!
Get 2 other beneficiaries in a room and get them to agree that the money must be split 4 ways!
Then get this in writing and take to the solicitor who can and will deal with it.

You can then sleep at night knowing that you are a good person.

ChangeAgain2 · 27/04/2024 08:28

I'd ask the other siblings to consider doing a deed of variation so the inheritance is split 4 ways. Alternatively, I'd give your sister what you gained from the unfair split.

PropertyManager · 27/04/2024 09:32

Everyone suggesting giving the money are not thinking of the tax implications, if its not done via the will it is a gift from you (or the others), that will be counted as part of your estate if you should die in 7 years which could have IHT ramifications for your estate, also the gift could be liable for CGT.

The only proper way to do it is via a deed of variation, but the other beneficiaries do not have to agree to do this.

PropertyManager · 27/04/2024 09:36

Worth noting that if only OP is effected by the deed of variation the others don't have to agree to it, it only needs the authorisation of beneficiaries who will have their gift altered, if the result is they still get the same their agreement isn't required.

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