Stop homeschooling your children.

[pentagonisapentagon]

I run an educational consultancy and exam company. We produce books that most parents in our area of education will purchase. Home educating your children makes us money.

However. STOP. Now I don’t mean those that have children with severe issues (this is a small %, everyone likes to diagnose their children with some form of disorder and it isn’t those I’m talking about) who would benefit out the classroom / often awaiting a better school option.

I mean the parents who are tired with the education system - lots of moans that they can’t take their children for a holiday, annoyed about not being allowed make up, the rules being too hard. You can barely spell, stop trying to teach your children yourself. These children are being FAILED by their parents.

By all means, if you have the relationship, time, ability and means to provide a solid home education system (inc money for tutors which will be needed) - go ahead. Just ensure you’re covering the social aspect.

I am seeing the advice to home school EVERYWHERE. Mumsnet and Facebook filled with the poor advice. It’s detrimental to all parties involved.

I’d love to know others thoughts on this.

OK, I am going to be slightly different here on this thread. I'm going to answer as someone who was home educated, taken out of school from the age of 13. From my perspective, all I can say to those parents who are thinking of taking their children out of school is don't! There maybe circumstances where a child with SEN might benefit from HE if they are being failed by the school but for other children I cannot emphasise the importance of a school in the development of social skills and personal confidence. My years of HE were the lowest point of my life. I may appear to be confident and have had a successful career but it's been a complete act. From being a normally buoyant child up until I was 13, ever since I've been plagued by a lack of confidence, low self-esteem, at heart I'm socially awkward although this may not come across to people I meet. Admittedly in my case the timing couldn't have been worse, the teens are a critical period in personal development so perhaps I'm a worst case, in addition I was also very isolated living in a small village. My parents did try to organise interaction with children my own age but occasional meet-ups really can't compensate for the companionship, face time and interaction children get from attending school on a daily basis. School is so much more than about education, I can't emphasise this enough.

Your experience isn't universal, and all kids aren't the same.

My son thrived in the years I home educated him, he has grown to be a hard working and sociable young man.* *He wouldn't have done even half as well at school.

My kids absolutely thrived being home educated. One entered year 9 in the top set for everything and the other (who never went to school or nursery) entered the local grammar and was put into the top stream for achievement meaning that he is expected to get all 9s at GCSE. They had three months off every summer, time off to recuperate if unwell, cheap term time holidays, professional tuition in random topics which took their fancy like electronics and Ancient Greek and a very peaceful childhood with a lot of quiet play and outdoor free play. Both have groups of friends.
Keep your crappy ‘educational’ judgement to yourself. I know what’s best for my children as they are MY children.

To be fair I think the voice of the homeschooled child is very important in this debate. They’re the ones it affects most, not the parents.

Having a voice about their own experience is fine.

That poster has categorically stated that parents must not HE (unless SEN provisions aren't being met) because they didnt get on well with it, which is ridiculous.

There are a wealth of different experiences, they aren't the authority on anything but their own life.

Why were you removed from school?

Many people have social anxiety, most of whom have been educated in traditional schools (because that is how most people are educated)- by your logic no one should send their child to school!

But by that token you aren’t the authority in your child’s experience - they are.

Yep I’m a teacher and we had some children that never returned after Covid. Paranoid parents regarding health or thinking because they helped their kids with a worksheet during lockdown they are now qualified to teach- it’s normally the parents who make every excuse under the sun why their child is so lazy when it comes to work I find

OK? I never suggested I was an authority on anything, so I'm not sure hat point you're trying to make.

Obviously I know how well things went and see my kid at uni, with a job, their own flat and loads of friends (and we also spoke at length, many times), so know that HE had a positive impact.

I'm not coming on here saying everyone should HE and school is rubbish and no-one should go because my child had a good experience though.

How about stop assuming people take the enormous step of home schooling because <checks notes> they want their child to wear make up?

The weirdest thing I’ve read all day. No one who homeschools takes it lightly

Well you kind of did. You said they weren’t “the authority on anything other than their own life” (your words).

That goes for your child too based on your own words.

I home educate one of my children.

He was being bullied by 30 children (high school). He told me he would rather be dead. We had police involved and yet the perpetrators got nothing more than a 'leave him alone'.

My child is absolutely thriving. He is learning so much more than he was at school. He socialised a lot more and now has an idea of what he wants to do for a future career. More importantly, he's happy and safe.

I have absolutely no desire to homeschool. Covid taught me I'm a shit teacher.

I honestly can't see how it's an easier choice, or financially viable in most cases. And I simply don't believe that people do it for spurious reasons like wanting to take their kids out of school for holidays. I think it's a difficult decision to make and not for the faint hearted, so not done on a whim.

This feels a bit like the latest attack on parents of neurodivergent children ("everyone likes to diagnose their children "- really??)

If I hadn't carried out exhaustive independent research and 'diagnosed' my young dd, she'd still be lying in bed naked, clawing at her hair, unable to tolerate clothes and not attending school. She's come much further after me 'diagnosing' her and applying effective strategies than she'd ever have done languishing awaiting formal diagnosis. Turns out I was right, too, having had it finally confirmed today by a proper, qualified medical professional.

I repeat. I'd be a shit teacher. But I think homeschooling would be preferable to further bouts of debilitating school avoidance. I honestly don't know any parents, other than SEN parents (some of whom are 'self diagnosed as you put it) who take the homeschooling route, particularly for the spurious reasons you cite.

To add...

It doesn't cost a massive amount to home educate (homeschooling is not a term generally used in the U.K.). There are plenty of free and low cost resources.

My child is highly motivated and while we choose to stick to a fairly structured routine, it's lovely that we have freedom to explore his interests and strengths. He also gets to socialise with people who are not all the same age as him - he is at ease talking to adults and older people as he is with children his age and has plenty of socialising opportunities - more so then when he was in school.

My child has taken part in online debates, learned about the British political system, understands business laws and has the opportunity to do GCSE's in subjects that are useful and interesting rather than irrelevant. For example, he will be doing criminal psychology igcse at age 14 and is learning about gardening.

There are always going to be people who make a mess of it, but there are more schools out there making a mess of it. When schools can't keep children safe, don't have the staffing and so on, home educating can be a good choice for some children

My younger children are in school still. One will almost certainly stay in school for the rest of his education because being home wouldn't be right for him but if he had issues, I wouldn't hesitate to do the same. I suspect my youngest two will be home educated from year seven onwards unless there is drastic changes in the education system before then - which is highly unlikely.

Op I'm sorry you had such a bad experience but I do beleive you are in the minority. Schools are like prison camps now. Teachers are leaving by the bucket loads and parents these days have a better understanding of their kids emotional and health needs

I don't belive anyone hone eds lightly * I'm an ex teacher. Ex because my daughter is now home ed

I’m in a Facebook home ed group as there was a time I thought my daughter wouldn’t be able to go to college.
In my experience and from what I’ve seen in the group, there are usually very good reasons for home edding individual children but also very often parents are ill equipped to do it.
Many of the parents starting out with it are not hugely literate and rather than doing research in advance, will de-register and have no idea what to do next. They’ll ask the group for the most basic info that they really should have gathered themselves.
Those whose children don’t take to home ed and just spend time gaming or doing nothing get gaslit by the unschoolers into believing that doing nothing is a valuable part of their education.
Mum home edders (because it’s rarely dads) will post pics of their children washing the family car and parents will pile on telling them that anything they do is education.
It’s all self congratulation, backing each other up because they all feel insecure about this choice and all a bit emperor’s new clothes.

I wasn't removed from school specifically, we moved house so I would have had to change schools in any event. The village we moved to was 9 miles from the nearest secondary school. There was a bus but the journey including walk-time to school would have taken 1 1/2 hours each way (rural buses never take a direct route). This was the reason why the village had very few families with children my age. My father felt that he had spent most of his 'childhood on a bus' for a similar reason and that it was a waste of valuable time that could have been used in education. This was the principal factor why my parents decided that I should teach myself. As I mentioned in my post, it was the isolation and lack of interaction with people of my own age that was of issue. In terms of academic achievement, HE wasn't the problem.

As you can image, HE nearly 50 years ago was quite unusual and my parents would often be questioned about it by their friends in my presence. My parents were very enthusiastic about it, academically it was successful. I've never told them how I really felt about it, I daresay I was being expedient considering our location.

That’s a fairly unusual situation though, most people consider things like transport time to the nearest school before moving their families.

As with anything, there’ll be good examples, bad examples and everything in between. There are some good schools, ok schools and some really terrible schools. Even with OFSTED and LEA oversight, there are huge problems with traditional schooling in this country.
My DC aren’t school age yet, but we are considering home schooling as an option. DH and I are both qualified teachers and know the pit falls as well as benefits of school life! It’s not a decision we would take lightly, but there are definite benefits to it. Particularly for children under the age of 7, there are huge benefits to having a curriculum that is less crammed, greater flexibility to follow a child’s interests, lots of 1-1/1-2 teaching time, lack of peer pressure/bullying, more time for physical activity and outdoor time etc.

Oh they did consider schooling before moving to the village, HE was the solution to the location problem. They confirmed with the LEA that HE wouldn't be a problem before putting in an offer on the house.

I'd say that applies after they're 7 too.

I'd love to HE and we did for 18 months just can't afford to do it permanently.

It’s silly to base an opinion of home educating in general on you being taken out of school for spurious reasons and not enabled to socialise and have friends- that isn’t a usual experience of home educating.

My DS 10 has spent 12 1/2 hours socialising so far this week, with 3 different groups of children (about 30 in total)- aged from 4-12.

Some are have been friends for years, others he met today- he meets some of the same people every week and some new people every week too because there is such a big home ed community.

My HE children have spent the last two days on a camping trip with 8 other home educating families, they have spent 14 hours a day running around together, and today we are taking a boat trip to Skomer to learn about puffins. But do tell me again how home ed children are poorly socialized children stuck at home all day.
Also, in this country, it's home education, not home schooling. We do not do school at home.

I'm so sorry that was your experience and I hope people listen that it's important to consider that most teens really need their friends and to slowly gain a sense of independence and start to make their own plans.

This is in general but I've observed that it's a lot harder to make new friends in a brand new situation in the teen years because a natural self consciousness does kick in, so I do think parents and teens have to really want it and have worked out together how that child might socialise.
Will they stay in touch with old friends? Do they already have connections at other after school clubs, church etc? Are they prepared to put some work in to make new? It can take a few false starts to break the ice. Have they looked at what opportunities there are in their area? Are the parents prepared and able to take them along to stuff? Are the parents prepared to organise things that suit their own teenagers?

My teen has a good, solid friend group, some that they've known since they were 3 so their experience is very different and for some teenagers coming out of school it is an absolute life line, they can be surrounded by peers there but very lonely in a crowd.

To everyone mentioning that home educated children will suffer socially, more often than not they are home educated in the first place because of bullying and / or social skills!! Most home educated children I know have diagnosed or undiagnosed SEN.

My DS is autistic and ADHD, he is academically strong. In lockdown he thrived as he was getting all of the work done in a couple of hours and spending the rest of the day pursuing his own interests or exploring nature with me.

I am seriously considering home schooling him for secondary, as despite being top of the class, he is an absolute prime target for bullying. We were thinking of private education, but given labours ridiculous 20% VAT policy, that’s looking more and more unlikely as an option.