Boyfriend kisses gay friends on the lips

[Lilaclala]

My partner has a few gay friends that he's known for years. He met them all through a friend. I went on a night out with him and them recently and was quite taken aback to see him greet one of them with a peck on the lips and then later kissed the same man on the hand at the bar. He's a friendly jokey person in general but am I right in thinking this is a step too far and a bit unnecessary and inappropriate, especially in front of his partner?

He’s in the closet. And trying to make a joke out of it so you won’t suspect.

Ps. When I questioned him about it he said it was just 'banter'

I’d say it’s unusual for a straight man to kiss another man on the lips as a greeting. Or indeed another woman. Kiss on the cheek would be more expected, so I think this would make me feel uncomfortable too op

Well he's leaving the door open so everyone can see in, then.

Yes he's gay. No straight man would do that.

He could be bisexual, or gay, or straight and this is just how they have always greeted each other.

He may or may not be bisexual. But a peck on the lips isn't necessarily sexual (it's pretty commonplace between parents, children, siblings in many families) and doesn't have to mean he is or wants to be unfaithful to you. As a straight man I have, once or twice when younger, briefly kissed close male friends on the lips - e.g., when they were in fancy dress on a stag night, or when trying to demonstrate a level of comfort with same sex intimacy in diverse company.

At the end of the day, though, if it makes you uncomfortable then ask him not to do it! Maybe suggest he goes for a flamboyant French-style air kiss instead?

I think he's bisexual or gay.

It did make me feel uncomfortable. I just wasn't sure if I was overreacting for feeling this way

I don’t know if he’s straight, bi or gay. But he’s a disrespectful prick to kiss someone on the lips when he has a partner and gaslighting you to say it’s “just banter”. I’d kick this one into touch.

I don’t kiss anyone on the lips other than my partner. Not siblings, not lifelong friends, nobody. The men I know don’t even hug each other, they shake hands.

This was exactly my point. Just because these friends are gay men and he is supposedly straight doesn't mean it's not disrespectful to me when I'm standing there watching. He wouldn't do it if it was a female friend....

I don’t know. I have male gay friends who kiss everyone on the lips (male or female).

Yes but my partner was the one who initiated it. And the kiss on the hand at the bar. I found it quite cringey

But are their straight male friends ok with being kissed? My DP wouldn’t be

I am on the fence, I’m female and have a few close friends who I always kiss on the lips when we say hello. I do it front my husband. It’s not sexual, I don’t think it’s disrespectful to my husband, I also wouldn’t care if he did it.

I guess it depends on the type of kiss, if just a friendly greeting I wouldn’t be bothered. Also would you be that bothered if he kissed a straight man on the lips?

Same here (and I dont actually like it). But the straight male friends (married or single) - always a kiss on the cheek or brief hug. No lips!

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it’s a DUCK. Run to the hills!

@CasperGutman I have never, ever kissed my child on the lips and would never! That's just wrong on multiple levels

Christ. These responses. I live in a renowned gay area. Almost everyone here kisses each other on the lips. Men and women. It's not gay. It is affection to a friend

straight men definitely would do that, have you ever been a student or around guys that play sport? They do loads of shit like this in the name of “banter” or being “bros”

What? You live in a 'renowned gay area'(?!) where everyone kisses on the lips, unlike anywhere else, but the kissing has nothing to do with being gay?

Straight men are not kissing their male friends on the lips. And it's disrespectful anyway, but he can get away with it because they're guys and I'm ""straight""

He probably started it years ago to show how non threatened he was. I worked with a guy who would deliberately flirt and be physical with our gay colleague. I asked the gay guy if he thought the other was gay, and he laughed and said no, and that lots of heterosexual men do this to prove how non homophobic they are.

Is there any way that he’s trying be, like, super right on and inclusive? Just trying to think of less obvious explanations due to the obvious ones already being pointed out