Brides mother has chosen an identical colour way for outfit

[Snowball777]

Attending son’s wedding in August this year as MOG. I wanted to avoid a clash with the MOB with outfits so asked what she had planned. She was going with pink mix to coordinate with bridesmaids. Based on this I spent a small fortune on a navy blue / lilac outfit and accessories. Five months on she changed her mind and bought an outfit that’s identical in colours to my own. Should I ignore and just go with what I’ve bought? I can’t afford to buy again and it took forever to find a good fit. I’m worried we are going to look like bookends! Any advice on how to handle please.

I would consider that a complete non-issue. I'm sure you'll look lovely.

Most people care about what they themselves wear, not so much about what other people wear. We’re reassuring op that although it’s important to her, other people will be focusing on the bride and groom and will hardly notice that her and MOB are wearing the same colours. It’s not that hard to understand.

better to match than clash!

This. One of my friends' wedding shots are completely overshadowed by her mum and MIL. One wore a green that was almost a lime and the other wore 'peach' with a distinct orange hue. The result looked truly horrendous together!

Not in a horrible way they don't.

People don't go to weddings and think 'look at the plight of those two, both wearing navy.'

People think 'oh what a lovely wedding, Jane looks fantastic.'

So many people saying no one will look at the outfits but surely OP is thinking of family photos etc? Either way, doesn't sound like an issue and far better than a clash. It's not like a normal group photo - bridesmaids and groomsmen will be matchy, so looking like bookends not an issue

I said this to my exh when we got married (maybe wasn’t a good start) but to be honest I stand by it! 😂

This is the sensible answer. No one should be looking at anyone in a horrible way at a wedding or judging them. It should be joyful.

But inevitably people mainly look at the bride - in an “oh she looks gorgeous” way - and maybe adult bridesmaids outfits but usually in a “oh I could copy that idea if I get married” sort of way.

When (if) my kids get married I’ll really enjoy the fact it won’t be all about me!

I think you'll look gorgeous with the bridesmaids. Lilac, navy and pink will be a lovely mix. Please don't give it another thought. It'll either be taken as intentional or a sweet coincidence. You've found a great outfit, please enjoy it

If she's not aware, feel free to give her the heads up but in a positive/ neutral way, 'beautiful choice, this is mine'. If she wants to choose something else she can.

I agree with a PP that she perhaps tried to find something in pink but couldn't and thought lilac was the next best thing. Depending on skin tone it can be hard to find a pink that looks just right never mind the right cut, price, etc.

Love the “book ends” imagery.

I’d never thought about this before but I think it’s a good thing. Everyone else in wedding parties are coordinated except the parents, so in group photos parents meld in with the crowd.

That probably won’t make you feel better about it but don’t let it spoil your excitement in the build up. On the day I imagine you’ll forget about it very quickly once you get into the event.

I've seen a few mothers do this deliberately and personally think it looks great. Oh, and take no notice of people saying no one will notice what you're wearing. At DDs wedding almost every female guest remarked on my outfit.

As long as you look good, that's all that matters.

Yes the mothers are always looked at and admired in the same way as the bride and the bridesmaids IME. That's why mother of the bride/groom outfits are such a big deal.

@Mnetcurious oh go away with your 'it's not so hard to understand' condescending rubbish. Might as well call me thick and be done with it!

Everybody looks at everybody else, it’s normal curiosity, but it’s fine to have same colours

People soundjng a bit mean aren't they?
OP, I do t think it will matter (and people will be looking at you!)
Have a great day.

Tricky. This happened to my mum ahead of my brother's wedding. If I recall correctly she bought first but had to buy another outfit when mother of the bride got a dress in the exact same unusual colour.

They hadn't spoken about it in advance though, so seeing as in your case MOB is clearly is the one who deviated from the arrangement I would think it's up to her her get another outfit if someone has to.

I'd depends on how similar the dresses are. They might be different enough to get away with it?

No problem with you wearing the same but I would probably message her in case SHE is bothered

When my sister got married she wore red and everyone else in the family photos is wearing a shade of blue. You really don’t need to worry about what she is wearing. I once turned up at a party wearing exactly the same dress as someone else, but I knew I looked better.

Does anyone actually pay attention to what guests wear to weddings? The only time I hear any comments is when people wear white or the mothers wear what lions like wedding dresses

I was in very similar colours to my son's new MIL, noone said anything. We looked coordinated not matching.

I’m intrigued as to which wedding dresses lions like!

My Dil Mum and I chose the exact same Navy dress. How's that for a coincidence. She had said she was getting a pink dress so I bought Navy, and luckily showed Dil who said it was the same. So dress went back and I got another one. All worked out well.

The colour scheme for my wedding was blue. I didn't advertise this in advance, but based on the photos it looks like I asked all my guests to wear blue (which I certainly did not!). Soooo many guests wore shades of blue. It's common to wear blue/navy to a wedding. I wouldn't worry about it.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond regarding this. The identical colourways but different styles will look fantastically coordinated on the day, I’m grateful that many of you pointed this out to me!

Don't worry. Stick with what you have. It happened at my wedding.