People posting pics of their children in hospital online

[Rolson77]

Why is this a thing? A friend (old school friend, we dont really speak other than in passing) of mine just 3 weeks ago had a normal amount of followers/friends online. Now her daughter is in hospital with a serious illness and she's opened up her social media, now has over 30k followers, because of the pics she's posting of her daughter online. One of them is her daughter crying with a dr/nurse putting a needle in her back. Another of her hand with a bloody cannula in it describing how she keeps pulling it out. Etc. Her daughter is 7 and cannot give informed consent for this. I don't know why it's pissed me off so much. Is this normal? Using your kids' illness to get likes and followers?

If I had a parent taking photos of their child while having a lumbar
Puncture, I would tell them to stop. It's a horrible procedure, and they need to be supporting their child. Not taking pictures.

Nobody should be posting photos of anyone else on the internet without their informed consent.

Children are too young to actually give it, so the photos should only be posted by them when they're old enough to have their own accounts.

And that goes for sick or healthy children.

It's intrusive and only ever done to benefit adults.

Standard behaviour though. I know of families with special needs children who even post about when their child has a poo. One poor girl is now 11 and they've only just started covering her top half up on photos.

I can respect your opinion when it’s about all children, not just those with parents of disabled / sick children.
dividing the 2 like in this post is odd because everyone’s situations are different.
i don’t mind posting my child on social media and I would have shared her first steps whether she was home or at hospital
so not agreeing to both - fine.

That is different, it's a huge part of their story. Abs presumably you wouldn't post pictures of them in distress.

One of the mums at school put pictures of her child hooked up to breathing tubes etc on the class WhatsApp. Just why. Poor child is fine now btw.

I know someone who posted photos of their relative on their death bed , they were in their final hours .

Worse when they take photos in hospital with other people in the background (without consent). I also don't like children in hospital on social media btw. When I was last in hospital a woman took a photo of herself with me in the background hooked up to medical equipment. I told the nurse and she was made to delete it. I mean honestly what planet are these people on?!?

Look at the problem Grindr had after sharing users private information with loads of advertisers, access to HIV status etc, you have to be really careful what information you choose to share on behalf of your children.
Facebook has tonnes of advertisers accessing your posts, be super sure it is in your child’s best interests long term to share this stuff.

I know a couple who regularly repost pictures of their newborn who sadly passed a few weeks after birth. The photo is actually quite distressing to look at, taken quite a while after the death in the hospital, the baby definitely does not just look asleep or unwell.

I absolutely understand why the parents took
photos, losing a child must be utterly heartbreaking and somewhere they will never get over.

I'm not sure why they regularly share the photos on Facebook, with a lot of non friends/family on public accounts too.

Many of my friends and family have shared update photos of their children in hosptial but only on accounts that are limited to close friends and family and I guess it's easier than lots of messages.

Fortunately I've not had that yet.

Do you find it acceptable that parents put a photo of their newborn baby on social media?? Do you worry about their consent?

I hardly use social media these days and there are a mere handful of photos of my child on Facebook.(he’s older now).

but my newborn photo on Facebook (closed to friends only). Unfortunately for him and me, he was on a ventilator and had numerous lines going into him.

I wish that wasn’t my newborn photo but life is not fair. We didn’t know he would live or die so it may easily have been the only photo I could ever share of him.

Is it more distasteful that I share my newborn photo than everyone else?

I don't find it acceptable that anyone posts any photos of their children on the Internet.

Loads of parents post their kids cancer journey on instagram and their child at their weakess I think it's disgraceful.

If someone was lucky enough to take their healthy baby straight home after birth, nobody would think twice about them posting a photo. In fact, it would be seen as weird if you didn't share a photo of a new baby, ideally in hospital straight after birth.

Why should parents of a baby in nicu not get to take and share photos of their baby? Their experience is just as valid as anyone else's with a new baby.

So you didn't want to do that, that's all well and good, but kindly lay off on the judging of parents who do want to share photos of their new baby with friends and family.

I wouldn't share a photo of a distressed 7 year old having a procedure done, but some dc spend a lot of time in hospital - should those parents never post anything about their children until they're well enough to be socially acceptable and with no visible signs of illness again?

Different people cope on different ways. For me putting photos on FB when he was a few days old was a way of a. Collectively telling people what had happened so they didn't worry b. Securing his place in the universe. I wanted people to see him whilst he was alive. I wanted to have him in as many people's memories as possible in case he died. I wanted him in as many people's prayers in case they worked. When he was in for 4 months at 1 is was a way of staying connected to the outside world, keeping people updated without having to maintain 50 conversations etc.

Easy to assume people are just not as good parent as you / love their child less etc but different people cope differently and need different things

Whereas my photos taken of DS in ICU were in case we never got to any more again. Different things matter to different people. We were on there a week both times, plenty of time for cute photos without him being in distress or interfering with his treatment. My favourite was on the day of JD strikes and he's holding his hand like he's sticking his middle finger up. Posted that one in support of our amazing doctors

Because they are massive attention seekers. It’s really terrible invasion of privacy when a child is at their most vulnerable.

If someone was lucky enough to take their healthy baby straight home after birth, nobody would think twice about them posting a photo. In fact, it would be seen as weird if you didn't share a photo of a new baby, ideally in hospital straight after birth.

This is not true at all.

Plenty of people don't agree with posting other people's images on the internet.

It's not seen as 'weird' at all not to, and I think it's depressing you think it might.

My favourite was on the day of JD strikes and he's holding his hand like he's sticking his middle finger up. Posted that one in support of our amazing doctors

Christ, instead of using an innocent baby to make a point who gets no say, why didn't you stick your own middle finger up and put your face on the internet?

I’ve many pics of my son in hospital when he has been in, many times with his asthma some on 02 some on nebs but only when he’s happy and playing and none were posted on social media. When he got his cannula he was so out of it he’d have not known if I was videotaping him however my thoughts were with my baby boy almost going to picu to be ventilated and I was speaking to him and holding his hand letting him know I was there. Which is where I should be, not clutching my phone waiting for an opportunity to video him at his most vulnerable.

As a paeds nurse, was in the ward for 18 years we had a no phones in the treatment rooms policy we had a big tv connected to internet for kids to watch something but no taping anything or pics etc the majority didn’t. But pics of newborns in nicu - i have one of my son the nurses took before he was wired up to ng/02 etc nothing was posted of him though.

I took daily photos of my son in nicu with a little update on facebook. I don't have random people I barely know on there, all of my facebook friends are my actual friends/relatives. Because it was the only thing I could do with him without having to ask permission first. I had to ask the nurses if I wanted to feed him, cuddle him or change his nappy. Taking photos of him without having to ask first made me feel more like his mum in the early days when I felt like he belonged to the hospital.

Sometimes I think a lot of people don't realise what it's like in hospital with a child who is always in and out. And it's not just the child who is a patient either. Some siblings spend lots of time in hospital, one of my fondest memories is of my nearly 3 year old pushing a walker thing up and down the corridors looking very pleased with himself and saying "look mummy, I is walking". I wish I'd got a video of that actually.

Children in hospital are not always distressed. Some of them aren't even ill.

Because it was the only thing I could do with him without having to ask permission first. I had to ask the nurses if I wanted to feed him, cuddle him or change his nappy. Taking photos of him without having to ask first made me feel more like his mum in the early days when I felt like he belonged to the hospital.

God yes this is so true.

My dc was in hospital twenty years ago so before social media etc. My dm ( dc’s grandmother) took photos of my son then (without my permission). I remember thinking then, he’s not on holiday!

Also, was in fracture clinic recently, and in the plaster room, they he as a sign up asking people not to take photographs or videos.